The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

“It still weirds me out you know?” I turn back to Emma as she gestures towards the kitchen, guiding me to our favorite place to sit and catch up. It’s like no time has passed, and I was only here yesterday.

“What does?” Emma smiles back at me, catching my arm in hers as she pulls me along.

“You two being like a proper mom and dad and popping out kids galore. Jake, even with his still lingering reputation, being that doting dad you see rolling around the dirt with his kids and having princess tea parties with Mia.” I shake my head at that particular memory. Mia went through a phase of sit down tea parties with her stuffed animals, where only Jake was allowed as a guest; he endured many while wearing various hats and pink capes, all the while still acting like it was totally his thing.

“He’s a born father, he loves his kids, and he’s the one who keeps pushing for more. This is all a good fit for him. I guess he was born to be a family man, despite his crazy lifestyle when I met him.” Emma runs a hand over her larger than life bump with a sigh. It moves a little as Carrero junior number three shifts around in its mom’s belly and wonder what that feels like. I shake it off quickly and push it down with the fact I will never know what it’s like, as I will never have sex.

“A football squad in your future then, huh?” I giggle, picturing Jake with a million kids and being happy about it.

He’s clearly unstable.

beams

this one will probably be the last. That you’re having a tough time with it, and he hates seeing you suffer.” I interject innocently, knowing Jake will already have said this

time.” Emma laughs,

her bump with a non-descriptive expression, as though she isn’t sure how to feel about that. I watch her for a second, before moving past her in the kitchen and reach for the mugs by the coffee machine, a task as familiar as breathing. Emma takes a seat at the long low breakfast table by the window and waves out to her family as they catch sight of her. She smiles at them and

and suffering. He swears every time that he’ll never do it to me again, and then he forgets what it’s like when that little bundle starts walking around. I swear the man is broodier than most women, and if he hasn’t got a baby on the way, or in a pram, then he wants another one.” Emma giggles, the glowing flush on her cheeks makes her seem soft and girly, as though still caught in the first throes of love, and I’m again hit with the deep well of envy. I want to know what it’s like to know that level of joy and completion and

ask curiously, pouring coffee from the machine and dumping creamer in it, trying to focus my thoughts on anything but my own selfish attitude

effectively uses his sexpertise to bend me to his way of thinking, so I can never tell. And it’s not like his libido is ever an issue if we want another; sometimes I think he needs an anti-Viagra pill. I struggle to keep up with him, especially now we have some little darlings to run us ragged, and I once again resemble a beached whale.” Emma smiles, throwing back her trademark short and wavy tawny hair off her face. Her style hasn’t changed in so long, and she still looks as young and pretty as when I met her. Only difference is, being with Jake has changed her from a very controlled, tailored PA, to this warm maternal

into the seat opposite her a little heavily. Knowing her and knowing us, I need to just get this over and done with so we can put it out of the way. It’s brimming there like the elephant in the room. “Are we going to get to the point or keep making small talk and pretend it’s not why I’m here?” I stare

like five hundred pounds.” Emma smiles at me, turning fully into the table to face me head-on. No malice in her tone. “Always assuming I’m going to give you a hard time, so

is slipping, and the tight knot of apprehension and anxiety forming a hard ball in my stomach.