“It still weirds me out you know?” I turn back to Emma as she gestures towards the kitchen, guiding me to our favorite place to sit and catch up. It’s like no time has passed, and I was only here yesterday.

“What does?” Emma smiles back at me, catching my arm in hers as she pulls me along.

“You two being like a proper mom and dad and popping out kids galore. Jake, even with his still lingering reputation, being that doting dad you see rolling around the dirt with his kids and having princess tea parties with Mia.” I shake my head at that particular memory. Mia went through a phase of sit down tea parties with her stuffed animals, where only Jake was allowed as a guest; he endured many while wearing various hats and pink capes, all the while still acting like it was totally his thing.

“He’s a born father, he loves his kids, and he’s the one who keeps pushing for more. This is all a good fit for him. I guess he was born to be a family man, despite his crazy lifestyle when I met him.” Emma runs a hand over her larger than life bump with a sigh. It moves a little as Carrero junior number three shifts around in its mom’s belly and wonder what that feels like. I shake it off quickly and push it down with the fact I will never know what it’s like, as I will never have sex.

“A football squad in your future then, huh?” I giggle, picturing Jake with a million kids and being happy about it.

He’s clearly unstable.

likely.” She beams

one will probably be the last. That you’re having a tough time with it, and he hates seeing you suffer.” I interject innocently, knowing Jake will already have said this to Emma more than once. They are one of those rare couples who communicate well and tell

every time.” Emma laughs, bringing her gaze back to

Emma takes a seat at the long low breakfast table by the window and waves out to

never do it to me again, and then he forgets what it’s like when that little bundle starts walking around. I swear the man is broodier than most women, and if he hasn’t got a baby on the way, or in a pram, then he wants another one.” Emma giggles, the glowing flush on her cheeks makes her seem soft and girly, as though still caught in the first throes of love, and I’m again hit with the deep well of envy. I want to know what it’s like to know that level of joy and completion and be

from the machine and dumping creamer in it, trying to focus my thoughts on anything but my own selfish attitude for once, and internally chastise myself

think he needs an anti-Viagra pill. I struggle to keep up with him, especially now we have some little darlings to run us ragged, and I once again resemble a beached whale.” Emma smiles, throwing back her trademark short

way. It’s brimming there like the elephant in the room. “Are we going to get to the point or keep making small talk and pretend it’s not why I’m here?” I stare at her pointedly, a little hint of attitude brimming underneath that is in no way called for

you haven’t changed all that much, Sophs. Direct and doesn’t beat around the bush. You can cut the frost though, I am still capable of taking on stroppy Sophie, even though I weigh like five hundred pounds.” Emma smiles at me, turning fully into the table to face me head-on. No malice in her tone. “Always assuming I’m going to give you a hard time, so you go into ultra-defensive mode.” Emma lets go of her mug and pushes her hand over mine on the table loosely. “You should know me better by now. I don’t judge you, Miele, I never

defensively. Already that relaxed aura is slipping, and the tight knot of apprehension and anxiety forming a hard ball in my stomach. Emma narrows her gaze slightly, that quick brain evaluating how she should respond to me. Her effortlessly keen perception and ability to switch to suit a

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