I slump back, mirroring Emma’s casual pose as the small happy laughter and squeals echo gently from outside with Jake’s voice intermingled and drift our way. Emma leans back for a second to peek outside, a warmth hitting her face and lighting up her eyes before she returns to focus on me.

“Well?” Emma reminds me. I was sitting watching her, my head lost somewhere between her ten thousand questions and just sheer fatigue.

“I’ve been better! Life sucked here and yet still sucked in New York, so go figure. I’ve felt better, and Arrick pretty much made me come home, so I guess I didn’t really choose it.” I shrug and swipe my mug to take a mouthful of the strong coffee, Italian roast or something Jake, ‘the coffee connoisseur’, has obviously filled it with. I blanch at how strong it is, even with creamer.

“Bristly … Uncharacteristically so.” Emma raises eyebrows my way with only a look of calculation on her face, no doubt her psychology degree working overtime in that quick brain to pinpoint the route to my awful personality facelift.

“It’s a touchy subject and getting off the defensive is harder than it seems.” I sink down again, reprimanded and scolded, even though she has barely tried to.

“I’m getting a little tension where Arrick is concerned. Are you two fighting over you coming home?” Emma leans in towards me, studying me closely, and pushes her mug to one side so she can rest her elbows and arms across, making it comfortable to lean her ample bust on. That instant sharp slicing shard hits my heart again, blinking back the almost instant prickle of tears and bite on my lip to curb it. Hating how his name can bring it on like this.

and I are done … He has a life to be getting on with and doesn’t need, or want, my drama. Silly little girls with selfish problems are so not his thing anymore.” I state sharply then have to sniff back the emotion that

find the time for you. In fact, I know he will. It’s just a fight; something that will pass. Do you want to talk about it?” Emma smiles gently, urging me to open up, but I only shrug more. I shake my head with sheer tiredness over this whole thing. I just want to

me, and I get the vibe he doesn’t want to anymore either.” I fiddle with the handle of my mug, unable to retain

what you two had? That you maybe miss him?” Emma

easier before … Even after … after what sperm donor did. I was happy for a while, but then … I don’t know, Emma. Something changed inside of me, and in the last couple of years, it’s just kept growing.” The words flood out in a rapid flow of relief, just pouring out because I need them to. Because I am sick of mulling this over alone, and I trust that she will never judge me, because this is what she does for me, always has. Effortlessly gets

past coming back to haunt you once more?” Emma soothes. Watching and retaining everything I say so she can analyze it

at first, getting trashed and

even, regarding me seriously, lifting her own mug to take a calm sip. She is in therapist mode and I know the drill. They ask a question and you should pour out as much as you can. I’ve been to enough sessions

couldn’t breathe anymore. I can’t think straight because

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