The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

Chapter 35

Emma frowns. I know she wants to correct me on who exactly up and ran off, but she isn’t that type of person. She is instead appraising me so very pointedly, as though some tiny light bulb has gone off. She rubs her thumb over my hand to soothe me.

“You said … He left you?” Emma watches me, her expression calm while waiting patiently.

“What do you mean? What?” I recall everything I blurted out and try to piece it all back together so I can replay what I said. “Arrick, I guess.” I shrug, sniffing back the flood that’s erupted over my face, and give up wiping the mess away. It isn’t the first time I’ve cried in front of Emma, and she doesn’t exactly make me feel shy about it anyway.

“You started hitting the booze and reckless behavior only weeks after Arrick moved to the city, Sophie. We all know how close you were. Do you think that maybe it was the dependency on him that has left you feeling this way?” She seems intent on her line of thought. That serious look on her beautiful face and that slightly furrowed eyebrow hinting she’s onto something

“What? You think I’m some sad cling-on who can only be happy with Arrick glued to my side? He’s my best friend, of course I got upset that he moved away, and we didn’t see each other as much, or act the same way anymore. I don’t think him going has given me a serious bout of two years of black hole depression though. Why would it?” I snap again, angry that she is trying to make this out to be something it’s not; trying to make me see, that somehow, I’m a weak pathetic child who can’t survive life without dependency on my best friend. It’s abnormal and unhealthy and is not what is wrong with me.

“I think you have always had very confused emotions concerning him, that what you think is a healthy friendship is something more to you. He left and you fell to pieces, Sophie. I think you’re nursing a very real broken heart and you’ve experienced your first real breakup of sorts. I think this consuming black hole is not as complicated as you think. I don’t think you just love Arrick, Sophie … I think you are in love with him and I have done for a long time.”

inhale quickly, looking at her as though she has popped out horns on her head, or grown a second one; complete disbelief and stunned into silence with such a ridiculous statement. My tears stop almost as quickly, frowning hard, I stare at her,

is having it, especially with that statement. “You have obviously been drinking your own Kool-Aid, Emma. This is fucking stupid.” I make a move to get up angrily,

me hesitate. Emma rarely raises a harsh tone to anyone, let alone me. She’s never needed to, and I sit down obediently, a knee-jerk reaction and snap my mouth shut. “Now tell me why that

professional psychobabble, therapy tone and backwards questioning, Emma. I don’t need it from you right now. Hell yes, it makes me angry … it’s Arrick. He’s like a brother to me. He’s been through everything with me, seen everything, been everything to me. I wouldn’t have gotten through without him.” I bite on my bottom lip to control the wobble in my voice, and turn to gaze meaninglessly across the kitchen, in a bid to control my

away.” Emma is still calm, her tone soft and low as she sits very still. Unemotional and completely calm,

friends, Emma. None of them were as close to me as he was. None

agree?” Emma responds gently, pushing me, coaxing, but

When he’s around me, I’m saner, safer, and less fucked up. He has a way of just cutting through my bullshit and makes me see sense. But you’re wrong … I don’t love him in that way, I do love him, of course I do, but I’m not in love with him. That would just be plain weird, and it would

sighs, her brows knitting for a moment

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