The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

Emma is still soothing, while I just stare numbly at the floor. Suddenly nothing but emotional exhaustion consumes me, making me too tired to sit back up as numbness overtakes, and yet I know I cannot stay face down on her kitchen floor like this. I move to try weakly as she helps me slowly and surely and nestles my head against the curve of her breast, against her throat. Arms around me tight and stroking my hair back off my face, the tears still running down my cheeks as heat floods my skin.

“Emma?” I cry brokenly.

“You’re okay. I got you, Sophs … I got you. We’re okay.” Emma soothes while rocking me back and forth in her arms, like she would Mia, with gentle soothing words and I have no energy to do anything but cry. Lost in this maternal embrace, I start to sob, hopeless silent tears.

“You don’t get it … it’s him … it’s Arry.” I whisper brokenly, burying my face in her neck not wanting to go anywhere else but right here, right now. I cling to her desperately. Like my world has just come crashing down.

to and fro, a soothing motion of a momma rocking

in love with someone else and I’m supposed to do what?” I burst into heartfelt

That inner wall that protected me from years of pain is slowly growing inside and the urge to push her away is starting to expand. I hate that I am this way, but I can’t help it. The inner me is taking control, and even clawing onto her with my fingertips cannot stop that younger me from pulling

it … If I am, then what chance do I have of ever getting over him? Arrick isn’t some stupid teen crush, or a boy I dated who hurt me. He’s been my everything, my world, and my support. He’s my best friend, and he would never do anything to make me want to stop loving him. He isn’t capable of doing anything to me that would make me do anything but love him! I’m doomed. There’s no way out of this and I can’t see how I’ll be able to get past this.” I cry out, in both rage and

love with Arrick