The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

Moving to the window, looking outside to the sea view to try and hone my thoughts and emotions into one steadier more manageable block, rather than this messy, all over the place shambles. I fall to pieces when his breath tickles the back of my neck, sending a thousand tiny goosebumps across every inch of my skin and flutters in my stomach. I freeze as his arms slide casually around my shoulders from behind and he nestles against me, his jaw against my hair above my ear. I don’t move, afraid to breathe, afraid to let myself react in anyway, and try to push down all the confused signals my body starts sending out in every direction. Suddenly aware of how much we have touched each other over the years, how abnormal this really is for two platonic people who are not related. The lack of boundaries we have considering my past. I’m so confused.

“Sophs, I’m sorry. I know I walked out after saying I would be here for you, but I’m trying to make things right. I hate when we fight. We we’re both tired and emotional and being shitty and impulsive and letting nonsense fall out of our mouths. Can we just start over?”

His body moves around me like a protective shield, but instead of the safe haven and relaxed feeling it used to give me, I shift into high alert, overly aware of where exactly parts of his anatomy are touching me and trying not to. I can pretty much feel his trouser snake nestling in between my butt cheeks in an overly sensual way that makes my stomach erupt in fire and shame. I shrug out of his embrace a tad harshly, heart thumping through my chest and literally feel like I am about to join Leila in the bat shit crazy ranks.

“Stop ... I can’t. It’s fucking with my head.” I blurt out insanely. Pulling myself back against the wall defensively, hoping space will calm the tidal wave of tingles coming from my toes, as I turn on him, disrupting the table beside the window. I send all the trinkets and perfume bottles clattering over noisily and reach out to stop the biggest one smashing.

“Sophs, what the hell has gotten into you?” Arrick frowns hard at me and moves to pick up a bottle that rolls towards his foot. Even watching all that wide muscle and perfect male body scoop and stoop and fluidly straighten up to his tall height and bring that way too handsome face back to me, I snap inside. My body heating in places I have never had it heat, tingles low down around there and suddenly I’m breathless and reeling, and yup, about to have the most god-awful panic attack.

What in the actual fuck?

“Nothing; I think you should go ... I don’t feel well, and I need to lie down.” I stammer, trying to cool my body and calm my breathing from this hormonal overdrive that has erupted inside me, but his gaze only narrows at me. Heat creeping up my face, my hands shaking, and I just need him to move, like five feet backwards to let me breathe.

he scrutinizes my face, but all I can do is

am losing

throat and my eyes fill with moisture, desperately fighting myself internally and wracked with

and slides it away, by covering my fingers in

shouldn’t… I mean, it’s not proper … Because, it isn’t, in anyway … because … you just have to not, okay … just don’t… I mean, it’s not cool … when ...I … I … love you!” I blurt it out as panic envelops me and I

parts of mine, and seems to think I am probably just struggling because I am still pissed at him. I duck out under his arm and hightail it to my bedside table, breathing hard as tears start

it, Mimmo? Are you really this upset with me? I’m sorry, you know

love you.” I almost spell it out to him because I have to, slowly and firmly, voice trembling painfully, raising my eyebrows as I say it carefully, while looking him dead in the eye. I don’t know how else I

to take a moment to think, that frown crossing his beautiful face and the slight tense look he gives me. Instant stiffening of his body that says he just clicked. “By love? … Sophs … What do you mean?” A hint of panic washes over his normally tanned skin, lightening to a paler hue as something ripples through that

he