The silence stretches between us endlessly, both looking at each other, then away awkwardly; neither sure what to say or do. I know he’s looking for the words to fix this, but there aren’t any. I know his good guy persona means he will try though, and all that kiss did was prove he wouldn’t be able to. He loves someone else and kissing me just repulsed the hell out of him. I guess he wanted to know, without just having a two-second smooch sprung on him, and now he knows. He doesn’t feel the way I do. Like I didn’t already know that, and I don’t need him standing there looking like he may pass out to remind me. His face tells me a thousand things that he doesn’t need to verbalize.

“I need you to go.” I know it’s the only thing I can ask of him for my own sanity. If there had been any sort of fairytale realization he has the same feelings, he would have come out with it. It is glaringly obvious that Arrick has only ever seen a vulnerable kid who liked to hang out and share so many dumb interests, before moving on to a real relationship with someone he fell in love with. He has his life mapped out, and it never included me, in any way.

“Sophs?” He raises his hand and seems to struggle for words. “I need some time to let this sink in ... I can’t think straight.” He steps towards me again then stops and moves by me in afterthought, it’s almost like he no longer knows how to behave around me either. I sigh and stay still, rooted to the spot, deflated and accepting of the fact that I always knew this was never going to go anywhere. Arrick is an over-thinker, he always has been, and it might take him a couple of days to let it sink in and come to the same conclusion, but he will. When his affection for me and the urge to always do the right thing clears away, and he sees how impossible this really is.

Crazy how those three little words change everything between us.

written all over his face and in his reaction. I never stood a chance of being anything more than his friend, his childish sidekick, that kid who needed a protector and a shoulder to cry on, and nothing

His kid sister.

never have kissed you, and I have to tell her.... That’s not who I am. I don’t cheat. I don’t know what that was.” He hangs around by the door and seems like he isn’t sure if

love with you for it. Now maybe you’re

I only shake my head. Stubborn girl reigning supreme in a bid to

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