The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

He looks so deadly serious, delivering another wound to my soul and I break down properly. Heart-wrenching with how bad this can feel, how bad his rejections always affect me, and I start to cry painfully. Like a wounded child who doesn’t care if anyone sees her. Arrick moves towards me as tears make their way down my face, his own face crumbling at the sight of them, and losing all resolve.

“Stop crying, Mimmo, you know I hate seeing you cry.” His voice breaks with emotion, reaching for me, soft and tender, but I just slap his hands away aggressively. Full fury pouring out at his rejection, heart bruised again and not in the mood to have any more of his touches, innocent or not. He just messes me up.

“Go to hell.” I walk past him at speed, shoving him aside with a shoulder bump, determined to get away from the source of my pain and head towards home. Arrick pauses for a moment, watches me, and then follows me closely.

“Don’t be like this.” He starts walking behind me, matching my pace. I want him to leave me alone and give me some space, to get control of this sea of emotions.

“Go away, I don’t like you anymore, and I wish to God I didn’t fucking love you.” I’m back in childish mode, closing down and lashing out. Trying to walk faster to outrun him, but he has annoyingly long legs and bigger steps, so keeping even with me is effortless for him.

makes a grab for my wrist, but

I snap, shoving off the fingers that try to

Arrick’s temper snaps too, his tone and anger stopping me as he grabs my shoulders with both hands and hauls me back to him. He spins

too fucking right. Is that what you want to hear? Because kissing you felt …” Arrick trails off, confusion

darkness. He keeps looking anywhere but at me, avoiding my eyes, avoiding the way

... This is what confuses things.” Arrick makes a move to walk around me, but I step sideways, blocking him confrontationally and repeat my

He frowns at me pleadingly, with a face that just begs me to leave this alone, but I can’t. I need to know what he was going to say; it’s ripping my heart apart, and I want to know what the

firmly, tears trickling down my face hopelessly. Arrick drops his chin again, looking

going to be crushed, I’m still going to be an asshole who hurts someone I care about, no matter what, or who, I choose. This will still be the complicated mess it was yesterday and nothing, except