The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

He looks so deadly serious, delivering another wound to my soul and I break down properly. Heart-wrenching with how bad this can feel, how bad his rejections always affect me, and I start to cry painfully. Like a wounded child who doesn’t care if anyone sees her. Arrick moves towards me as tears make their way down my face, his own face crumbling at the sight of them, and losing all resolve.

“Stop crying, Mimmo, you know I hate seeing you cry.” His voice breaks with emotion, reaching for me, soft and tender, but I just slap his hands away aggressively. Full fury pouring out at his rejection, heart bruised again and not in the mood to have any more of his touches, innocent or not. He just messes me up.

“Go to hell.” I walk past him at speed, shoving him aside with a shoulder bump, determined to get away from the source of my pain and head towards home. Arrick pauses for a moment, watches me, and then follows me closely.

“Don’t be like this.” He starts walking behind me, matching my pace. I want him to leave me alone and give me some space, to get control of this sea of emotions.

“Go away, I don’t like you anymore, and I wish to God I didn’t fucking love you.” I’m back in childish mode, closing down and lashing out. Trying to walk faster to outrun him, but he has annoyingly long legs and bigger steps, so keeping even with me is effortless for him.

have to come home with me tomorrow, so this is pointless. Stop and talk to me.” He makes a grab for my wrist, but I try to twist my hand out of his grip immediately. Bristling and not wanting him

me how wrong it felt kissing me?” I snap, shoving off the fingers that try to hook over my shoulder instead. Determined

my shoulders with both hands and hauls me back to him. He spins me to face him and I’m rendered silent

hear? Because kissing you felt …” Arrick trails off, confusion over his face, while I’m still crying quietly, madness dissipating fast and replaced with complete sorrow and

but at me, avoiding my eyes, avoiding the way I am trying to focus on him while he tries to let this go. Grabbing his wrists to get him

Arrick makes a move to walk around me, but I step sideways, blocking him confrontationally and repeat my question,

forcefully, staring at his downcast face as he frowns at the grip I have on his forearms. He frowns at me pleadingly, with a face that just begs me to leave this alone, but I can’t. I need to know what he was going to say; it’s ripping my heart apart, and I want to know what the end

trickling down my face hopelessly. Arrick drops his chin

this solves nothing, Sophs. Natasha is still going to be crushed, I’m still going to be an asshole who hurts someone I care about, no matter what, or who, I choose. This will still be the complicated mess it was yesterday and nothing, except my inability to not kiss you, will have changed.” Arrick sidesteps me.