Christian shows up first, followed by a timid looking Jenny who seems to appear rather closely to Nate. Gathering together in the street outside Arrick’s house. I notice Nate is being rather attentive to my girl and tries to take her hand as he catches up with her; she looks away, pulling away from him and slides an arm through mine in a coy move without catching his eye. I frown her way suspiciously and file it away to interrogate her as soon as I get her alone with Christian.

I’m now standing away from Arrick, as soon as I saw them appearing I made him let go of me and moved to two feet apart, needing a space to see my friends and let them know what has happened. My texts outlined the briefest explanation only and I am so not ready to be identified as Arry’s new love interest just yet. I feel like they may judge me on my readiness to jump into a relationship when last night, I swore to never let him near me again.

“Well hey, hey.” Christian grins swooning between us all and looking far too wide awake and glamorous while the rest of us are rough as hell. He winks at Arrick and gives him a coy shoulder nudge.

“See you finally manned up.” He smiles at Arrick’s frown and waves jazz hands in the air between them. So unmanly it’s almost painful, but it makes me and Jenny giggle as Nathan also bursts into a grin. Seems he isn’t surprised to see us together and I catch the way he throws me a satisfied ‘know it all’ smirk.

“I’m still in two minds about whether I should beat you or hug you.” Arrick tries for deadpan cool but Christian only gushes at Arrick’s sense of humor.

“Both. I am so into that.” He giggles and winks his way, with a little twirl back to me and a butt wiggle. Arrick just shakes his head and sighs before breaking into a huge smile. Obviously feeling dumb that he never once clicked that Christian is very unmistakably gay.

“I can’t believe I ever thought this guy was straight.” He laughs, and Nate throws him the ‘you’re obviously a moron’ look over everyone’s heads. I catch it and giggle a little harder. Arrick must have been completely blind to not pick up on it before, I mean Christian is currently sashaying around in a sparkly T-shirt with a huge rainbow heart on the front and wearing matching sneakers over ultra-skinny jeans. It’s not exactly inconspicuous.

I turn away and give Jenny a little nudge, noticing the way her eyes follow Nate as he moves in to give Arrick the familiar ‘Bro’ handshake and shoulder bump, the two of them lagging behind as we start walking towards the exit of the street. Christian comes to my free side and loops my other arm, gaining distance on the two men behind us so he can cut in with a whisper. Like three witches from Hocus Pocus doing the crazy walk and huddled to gossip about men.

“Did you two do the bed boogie last night? Notice you disappeared, along with our shameless hussy over there and the rather sexy Nathan.” He raises an alarming eyebrow at Jenny whose face turns crimson. She literally recoils in mortification.

“Shh!” Jenny scalds him, glancing back between us to check they aren’t listening, but the two of them are lost in conversation with equally serious expressions behind us and paying no attention to us. I glance back and catch Arrick smiling at something he is saying to Nate and that heart-swelling warmth hits me like it used to when I looked at him. I push it down, turning back to my friends, back to the very serious subject in hand.

“Jenny, please tell me you didn’t hook up with Nate?” I giggle at her in both shock and a little disbelief, not sure if I am happy for her or not. Nate is such a womanizer and Jenny only just got dumped by her boyfriend of almost two years. I don’t even know if I am impressed or seriously wowed.

“I got so drunk; I feel like such a slut. We somehow ended up making out in Arrick’s mom’s greenhouse, I don’t even remember how we got there.” Jenny’s turning beetroot and unable to look us in the eye, trying to keep her voice on the low. Christian grinning like a Cheshire cat, clearly proud of his ‘hussy’ girls and trying to coax the sordid details it out of her.

“That’s my girl! Only way to get over a man is to have a new one under you and fuck your brains out. So, did he?” Christian winks dirtily and Jenny burns even redder, her face a picture of utter mortification and she glares at him with an open mouth.

“Be quiet! ... There definitely has to be something said for men who have been around a lot of women.” She smiles shyly. Glancing back again quickly to see if they can hear us, and then at us. Blushing crazily and hitting the giggles; she looks so cute and girly right now and I realize it’s the first time I have ever seen her look this way.

“Jenny. I’m completely gobsmacked.” I smile, squeezing her arm and figuring that maybe she needed to do something this out of the norm to feel better; she doesn’t seem overly cut up about her ex anyway and there is no hint of guilt. I wonder if she really had been ready to end things with him after all.

“He was sooo good. I thought I’d experienced orgasms before, but Oh, my God. I literally couldn’t walk after. He took complete control of everything and did things I never imagined I would ever want. He makes me feel so crazily sexy.” She whispers then giggles at her revelation. I smile but then my heart plummets as reality catches up with me and the fact Jenny isn’t the type of girl to sleep around, especially not someone who gets into kinky aerobics in a greenhouse with a born womanizer. I don’t want to crush the ‘Christmas morning’ expression she has on her face, but I know I can’t let her go down this path to heartache.

“You know that’s what he is though right? A guy who sleeps around a lot. That nothing will come from this except heartbreak if you want more.” I point out honestly, watching her face as she bites on her bottom lip, curbing the smile and taking on a serious expression as she regards me with a nod.

“I know. I figured that out in the first five minutes of meeting him that he’s a major man whore. I knew what I was getting, and I think that’s why I went for it. He made me forget about everything and feel really good for one night. Made me realize how much better than Mark I can do. Mark is a selfish prick who only ever thinks about himself and never even gave me one orgasm in two years.” Jenny blurts out with a whoosh of relief, as though glad to finally get it off her chest. Christian’s head almost snaps off in the way he turns to her with horrifying speed.

when we both Shh him with little slaps on his chest. Trying to muffle him down and both glancing back quickly and very obviously at the men walking behind. We’re both physically abusing Christian, there’s no doubt in my mind that they probably know we

him with a serious expression and only half keeping his attention. Arrick catches my eye and smiles at

turn for the interrogation as she obviously caught that little moment between us and is now bringing

mean like a dating relationship. We had sex, sort of, I was too drunk, and we ended up just sleeping together and kind of talked.” I evade the details of what really happened, I’ve never told them about my past abuse and I never will. Explaining would be futile and I still do not

Even when we got on the plane it wasn’t hard to see.” Jenny breaks in, looking thoughtful, slyly glancing back at the two men between our heads and locking

and I shake my head at him, not wanting to point out that if it weren’t for Christian, Arry would have swept me off my feet two months earlier

***

of the little café turned bistro with its outside tables already occupied. Morning walkers sitting with pancakes and sundaes, despite the colder tinge in the air. Arrick catches me from behind and separates me from my entourage when we part ways to single file into the door. Taking my hand and pulling me against him from behind so he can put his other hand on my hip, walking past the chrome tables and quaint umbrellas and inside to the shade of the shop. I notice Nate skirts by us and ends up directly

him?” I nod towards his back with a questioning look, knowing fine well he is a ‘love them and leave them’ type and rarely gentlemanly with a girl after he has

not ready to let that go.” Arrick frowns, shaking his head at his mates back with an air of disapproval. I guess, like me, he’s finding

a relationship, last thing she needs is this.” I scowl towards them as they find a table and start sitting

a while. Sex can work miracles when both sides know that’s all it is.” Arrick shrugs my way and then pulls me over with the speed of light and deposits a kiss on my mouth followed by a cheeky

to myself as my brain fades into last night,

told you … What we have is worth a thousand times

on the other as

***

identical plates placed in front of us after we all finally ordered food. We’ve all been chatting idly, about the party, school, work and nothing in particular. It’s odd,

realizing how quickly and easily I am falling back into being used to his company again. The initial confusion is draining away and I’m more relaxed now that we are all sitting around with no pressure to be anything but sociable. He’s

the fuss is about, besides, I am so hungover right now and this sounded better than a fry up.” He digs in, taking a mouthful and chewing it slowly as if to savor the taste before giving me an approving look and digging in for more. I shake my head and follow suit, trying not to moan with pleasure at the first bite of something I have craved since moving to New York. Literally, a taste sensation exploding in my

this is sooo good.” I gush between bites, slapping Christian’s hand as his fork makes a dive at my food with a cheeky smile across the

scowl at Christian’s hovering fork. I lean over my plate

mine … it will be less violent if you do.” He sits patiently while Christian takes a forkful and throws me a triumphant eyebrow raised ‘ha ha’ look. Smug that

grouchily, meeting only smiles and winks before he blows me a kiss. I notice Jenny and Nate have gone off into quiet conversation again, heads ducked in as he says something that has her giggling. I frown across at him, wondering what his game is and mentally hoping to God she really does take this as a passing casual sex thing. She looks pretty this morning, carefree and less stressed and it’s the first time I’ve noticed that

you put up with such a little brat like her?” Christian eye rolls at Arry, catching my frowny face as he meets my foot colliding with his shin under the table, giving off a

mouth softly, kissing them before letting me go. I have to admit the little stomach surge it gives me doesn’t go unnoticed. Christian immediately goes pie-eyed and practically starts salivating at this show of cuteness. I, however, ignore it, push down the butterflies

see me go mushy

mare when she throws one on me.” Christian sulks, I falter but shove more food in my mouth and try not to let my uneasiness on the topic show. I know I have always been aggressive; I can’t help it. My body reacts and lashes out before my mind does. The therapist helped me get better, less volatile but I am aware that I have issues in that department and it’s not something I am proud of. It also doesn’t help that I grew up beside Leila, and half my violent outbursts are thanks

he brings his gaze to mine, complete adoration evident all around and no hint of knowing anything about why I am the way I am, even though he knows. I blush under his intense stare and

best waffles in the world.” I frown at them both, picking up my milkshake to start washing away the food, trying to show how uncomfortable I am with two pairs of adoring

Christian sulks, looking down at his standard

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