The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

I storm from the shelves before I get the urge to throw something at him and grab a throw pillow from the couch instead. It’s made from some sort of fur, like real fur; flat, smooth rawhide kind of fur and I grimace as I touch it. It’s awful and I am so anti real fur!

I turn and throw that at him in disgust instead, trying to vent some of this spiraling energy inside of me that’s fit to burst out. He dodges and frowns, still trying not to smile and I do not see what is funny about this at all. Never understood his complete infatuation with my tantrummy side, or that he finds it both cute and amusing when I am on the verge of causing him bodily harm.

He is so fucking weird.

“You can keep your shitty apartment then. You want it this way, you can have it back this way. Pretty sure I can still get mine back, seeing as Jake rented it out and never sold it. Go home and take it back … bin all my sparkly shit and burn my fucking Unicorns.” I sulk, tears hitting now, because I’m tired and when I’m tired, I’m an emotional nightmare. Even I know I’m being psychotic, but sometimes, Arry just brings it out of me. And this shit here, this apartment. It just sucks.

I hate it. Hate what it represents. That my boyfriend thinks my décor tastes are sucky, and clearly hates our home that I thought we were happy in for the past twelve months.

Arry stands for a moment, typically cool and visually unaffected, like always. He picks up the cushion as he sighs and stares at me contemplatively. Unsure whether he should say anything or not. He has that look which says, ‘trying to choose between acting scared, or being indulgent’. It’s filtering into that thick head that I’m serious about this and it’s not just jet lag or Sophie being her grumpy tired asshole self, or ‘hangry’, even though I am also starving. Food won’t fix this! I’m genuinely distraught.

“I didn’t think it would upset you this much… I figured you wouldn’t notice and that you would probably fill it up with stuff you bought here anyway.” The soft voice, the smooth tone of a guy trying to appease me, because he knows he fucked up. I know him too well and I turn my back on him. I hate that since we got together, it’s so much easier for him to hurt me in such dumb, stupid, meaningless ways. Being in love with him, gives him way too many tools to wound me. Best friend Sophie was way more emotionally stable and immune to the stupid shit he did.

“I’m sorry, baby… I don’t know what else to say. I’m an insensitive jerk and I never thought about how you would take this.” He moves to me, his body heat seeping through my thin cotton dress as he gets painfully close, his breath on the back of my neck and I tense. Warning him not to touch me. I really will knee him in the balls if he thinks touchy and cuddly will sway me.

“Yeah. Cos telling me that you hate my taste and don’t actually like what I’ve done to your apartment is not hurtful at all.” I sniff as tears hit my cheeks, despite my efforts to hold them, shaking my head at all of this. He sighs heavily, the warmth of his breath flutters down the back of my dress, telling me he is right behind me and I shiver with the sensation. My skin goosebumps involuntarily and makes my stomach flip with little butterflies. Even mad at him, he still makes every part of my body react to him so effortlessly.

“I love you, and I’m an asshole.” His fingers come up and gently trace the back neckline of my dress, moving my hair and making my skin erupt in tingles. I know what he’s doing. What he always does when he upsets me and is trying to make amends. He wins me round with soft touches, sweet words and gentle Arry that I normally have no resistance to. I’m stronger than that and this is one step too far. It’s not just a stupid thing, it’s a huge thing, that I can’t just let him brush away.

“Sometimes I hate you.” I sulk back. Refusing to let him weaken me, retorting in good old-fashioned childishness.

“Ouch, that stings. You know how to make me bleed, baby… Hate me even if I let you fill every room with sparkly, pink, fluffy, unicorn themed and a million candles you forbid me from lighting?” the lighter tone in his voice, the “I’m sorry” huskiness gets me and I lift my chin a little higher in stubbornness, stiffening my spine. Refusing to sway so easily over something this big. He won’t win me round with sweet boy antics this time.

“Why? Just so you can hate this place too?” I mumble drily as I move forward, to get his fingers off my skin, his breath off my neck. I’m stronger when he’s not making me react to his proximity and more able to withstand his power over me.

“I don’t hate what you did to our apartment, and it is ours, not mine… Like this place is. I was wrong, baby. I just okayed the first ones she showed me for a quick move. I wouldn’t be happy in our New York pad without all the little Sophie touches. I missed them when they were gone. You do make it feel like home, I love coming home to it, feeling you in every detail and you’ll do the same here.”

“Hmmm.” I huff loudly. Softening despite myself.

“Pretty sure you will also punish me by maxing my credit cards in the next week too, to make up for it. Drag me to every boutique in Paris and carry a shit load of bags and boxes for you.” He moves to me again, this time running his fingers down my arms, making me tremble, and soothing me a little with fast words and offers to let me spend all his money. Arry always knows how to play me and brush away my tantrums and moods, even when I think he has no chance. My tears have stopped, and I wipe them away moodily, still trying to make a show of being unimpressed. He isn’t getting off that lightly.

“Better up your limit… or add a couple more cards.” That heavy ache in my stomach lifts a little as I let go some of the churning hurt and regain control now the shock of arrival is wearing off. Looking around defeatedly and still sighing with how disappointing it is.

It’s not my home.

too as I turn and glare at him over my shoulder, wickedly. Those beautiful hazel eyes focused on me; that soft look of a guy who is completely smitten and trying to appease his stroppy love. He has become a master of doing just that in the time we’ve been together, and I know I can be a pain in the

as crazy as he does sometimes. Even if he is still the hottest male I ever encountered on the planet and still has a sexy body that I never tire of looking at. If

my chin defiantly as I stalk off towards the bedroom once more while trying to kill the smile that’s aching to spread across

satisfaction. I turn to look at what I expect to be another punch in the face room, getting

lights and a whole romantic vibe in here. Same neutral palette that we agreed on, yet the prints I chose are all hanging in here and there’s a mirrored vanity with a display of ornate perfume bottles. Huge candle filled lanterns hanging in one corner at different heights, by a large organza layered window that looks out over the twinkling streets of Paris in a surreal way. There’s even a silver statue of a

my star struck moment, and I sigh as I look about once more. Trying not to give away that I’m softening a

deny the guy some groveling practice when he’s clearly

so bad. These are things I chose; this room screams of me and exactly what I love, and I can imagine us

probably bracing himself for something to be thrown at his head and glances at me in mild surprise when he sees me calm and semi smiling. A half smile on his cute face brings out his dimples I adore so much. I have to

edges closer, testing the water with trailing fingers across my wrist as he comes in behind me, hand sliding around my waist gently and pulling me back against him snugly when he gets no hint of resistance. I surrender a little too easily, even while

just back down so very quickly, he has to learn

my neck with his soft teasing mouth, trailing little pecks up towards my

dress slowly, seductively. I know I need to be firmer and tell him to back off, but the weak little wimp in me who crumbles at Arry’s every touch is too busy turning me into a bowl of Jell-O. My breathing is already hitching in anticipation for the

him. Sophie

That sexy husky tone, right in my ear, extracting goosebumps. The zipper already below waist level and I hadn’t even felt it go down. I open my eyes and give a little squeak when he slides his hand up my dress and connects in the one

seduction going on; cheeky little man whore

and throw him back a look that’s meant to tell him off, but he just grins. Amused, unaffected and smug because he knows he’s got me right where he wants me. Moving

before he plants a hard kiss on my lips. His hand is fast, and he has me in a flash, up in a show of strength and speed, and flat on my back on the bed. I let out a muffled gasp with

hand planted firmly between my thighs in the blink of an eye,

is futile, I know my weakness for him runs deep and already I’m sliding my legs apart to give him full access, despite my mental protests. Sensual longing coursing through

couch, maybe explore other areas of our new pad too. Pretty sure either place will have you sleeping next to me though, after I’m done with you.” He kisses me softly, wickedly confident in his sexual prowess and I don’t refuse. Hating myself for being so pathetic,

mine, bringing me to complete control with the way he only can make love to my mouth. Arry is working his fingers under the edge of my underwear and I exhale slowly, urging him to keep going even as

tilting my head so his lips graze mine more intimately, allowing him to move against me snugly and turn me on effortlessly. He still feels

good at it.” He smiles at me cheekily, dipping to graze my mouth with his. Hands have found their reward and I gasp as he moves across my warmth gently, trailing strong fingertips softly across my skin under the fabric of my panties. I exhale, body turning to liquid instantly and struggle to not close my eyes and get lost in how it feels. He can ignite fire with a touch, and I

his finger probes me gently, carefully edging into me, testing to see if I am

to peel my clothes off with his teeth. My stomach tingles in anticipation and I know I’ve lost;

he dips for another kiss, giggling as he goes for my neck instead, sucking and nibbling me softly. Closing my eyes to savor what his

my boyfriend has skills