The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

I storm from the shelves before I get the urge to throw something at him and grab a throw pillow from the couch instead. It’s made from some sort of fur, like real fur; flat, smooth rawhide kind of fur and I grimace as I touch it. It’s awful and I am so anti real fur!

I turn and throw that at him in disgust instead, trying to vent some of this spiraling energy inside of me that’s fit to burst out. He dodges and frowns, still trying not to smile and I do not see what is funny about this at all. Never understood his complete infatuation with my tantrummy side, or that he finds it both cute and amusing when I am on the verge of causing him bodily harm.

He is so fucking weird.

“You can keep your shitty apartment then. You want it this way, you can have it back this way. Pretty sure I can still get mine back, seeing as Jake rented it out and never sold it. Go home and take it back … bin all my sparkly shit and burn my fucking Unicorns.” I sulk, tears hitting now, because I’m tired and when I’m tired, I’m an emotional nightmare. Even I know I’m being psychotic, but sometimes, Arry just brings it out of me. And this shit here, this apartment. It just sucks.

I hate it. Hate what it represents. That my boyfriend thinks my décor tastes are sucky, and clearly hates our home that I thought we were happy in for the past twelve months.

Arry stands for a moment, typically cool and visually unaffected, like always. He picks up the cushion as he sighs and stares at me contemplatively. Unsure whether he should say anything or not. He has that look which says, ‘trying to choose between acting scared, or being indulgent’. It’s filtering into that thick head that I’m serious about this and it’s not just jet lag or Sophie being her grumpy tired asshole self, or ‘hangry’, even though I am also starving. Food won’t fix this! I’m genuinely distraught.

“I didn’t think it would upset you this much… I figured you wouldn’t notice and that you would probably fill it up with stuff you bought here anyway.” The soft voice, the smooth tone of a guy trying to appease me, because he knows he fucked up. I know him too well and I turn my back on him. I hate that since we got together, it’s so much easier for him to hurt me in such dumb, stupid, meaningless ways. Being in love with him, gives him way too many tools to wound me. Best friend Sophie was way more emotionally stable and immune to the stupid shit he did.

“I’m sorry, baby… I don’t know what else to say. I’m an insensitive jerk and I never thought about how you would take this.” He moves to me, his body heat seeping through my thin cotton dress as he gets painfully close, his breath on the back of my neck and I tense. Warning him not to touch me. I really will knee him in the balls if he thinks touchy and cuddly will sway me.

“Yeah. Cos telling me that you hate my taste and don’t actually like what I’ve done to your apartment is not hurtful at all.” I sniff as tears hit my cheeks, despite my efforts to hold them, shaking my head at all of this. He sighs heavily, the warmth of his breath flutters down the back of my dress, telling me he is right behind me and I shiver with the sensation. My skin goosebumps involuntarily and makes my stomach flip with little butterflies. Even mad at him, he still makes every part of my body react to him so effortlessly.

“I love you, and I’m an asshole.” His fingers come up and gently trace the back neckline of my dress, moving my hair and making my skin erupt in tingles. I know what he’s doing. What he always does when he upsets me and is trying to make amends. He wins me round with soft touches, sweet words and gentle Arry that I normally have no resistance to. I’m stronger than that and this is one step too far. It’s not just a stupid thing, it’s a huge thing, that I can’t just let him brush away.

“Sometimes I hate you.” I sulk back. Refusing to let him weaken me, retorting in good old-fashioned childishness.

“Ouch, that stings. You know how to make me bleed, baby… Hate me even if I let you fill every room with sparkly, pink, fluffy, unicorn themed and a million candles you forbid me from lighting?” the lighter tone in his voice, the “I’m sorry” huskiness gets me and I lift my chin a little higher in stubbornness, stiffening my spine. Refusing to sway so easily over something this big. He won’t win me round with sweet boy antics this time.

“Why? Just so you can hate this place too?” I mumble drily as I move forward, to get his fingers off my skin, his breath off my neck. I’m stronger when he’s not making me react to his proximity and more able to withstand his power over me.

“I don’t hate what you did to our apartment, and it is ours, not mine… Like this place is. I was wrong, baby. I just okayed the first ones she showed me for a quick move. I wouldn’t be happy in our New York pad without all the little Sophie touches. I missed them when they were gone. You do make it feel like home, I love coming home to it, feeling you in every detail and you’ll do the same here.”

“Hmmm.” I huff loudly. Softening despite myself.

“Pretty sure you will also punish me by maxing my credit cards in the next week too, to make up for it. Drag me to every boutique in Paris and carry a shit load of bags and boxes for you.” He moves to me again, this time running his fingers down my arms, making me tremble, and soothing me a little with fast words and offers to let me spend all his money. Arry always knows how to play me and brush away my tantrums and moods, even when I think he has no chance. My tears have stopped, and I wipe them away moodily, still trying to make a show of being unimpressed. He isn’t getting off that lightly.

“Better up your limit… or add a couple more cards.” That heavy ache in my stomach lifts a little as I let go some of the churning hurt and regain control now the shock of arrival is wearing off. Looking around defeatedly and still sighing with how disappointing it is.

It’s not my home.

terms of money.” He sighs too as I turn and glare at him over my shoulder, wickedly. Those beautiful hazel eyes focused on me; that soft look of a guy who is completely smitten and trying to appease

makes me as crazy as he does sometimes. Even if he is still the hottest male I ever encountered on the planet and still has a sexy body that I never tire of looking at. If anything, in

him back with my butt playfully. Lifting my chin defiantly as I stalk off towards the bedroom once more while trying to kill the smile that’s aching to spread

I turn to look at what I expect to be another punch in the face room, getting ready for another

perfume bottles. Huge candle filled lanterns hanging in one corner at different heights, by a large organza layered window that looks out over the twinkling streets of Paris in a surreal way. There’s even a silver statue of a unicorn nestled on the sill, just peeking out at me like a little surprise treasure. It’s beautiful and exactly what I envisioned when I set up those endless mood boards.

door of a guy that knows he’s in the doghouse, makes me grin, interrupting my star struck moment, and I sigh as I look about once more. Trying not to give away that I’m softening a lot

practice when he’s clearly needing a little

the rest of the apartment looks like this. It’s not so bad. These are things I chose; this room screams of me and exactly what I love, and

for something to be thrown at his head and glances at me in mild surprise when he sees me calm and semi smiling. A half smile on his cute face brings out his dimples I adore so much. I have to sometimes remind myself that his pretty face is not a reason to forgive him any time he is a moron, but it’s just so hard. Arry is such a gorgeous specimen

my wrist as he comes in behind me, hand sliding around my waist gently and pulling me back against him snugly when he gets no hint of resistance. I surrender a little too easily, even while my stubborn self is telling me to make him suffer

and block his attempt at a seduction move. Arry does like to cop a feel of my boobs at every opportunity and I’m not in the mood to be yielding to that Carrero libido just yet. I can’t just back down so very quickly, he has to learn that you don’t mess with a woman’s decisions. If I let Arrick get it easy he’ll walk all over me with that stubborn

on our first night in our new place.” He nuzzles my neck with his soft teasing mouth, trailing little pecks up towards my

start unzipping my dress slowly, seductively. I know I need to be firmer and tell him to back off, but the weak little wimp in me who crumbles at Arry’s every touch is too busy turning me into a bowl of Jell-O. My breathing is already hitching in anticipation for the pleasure I know he can bring me, and my stubborn side is already thinking

Sophie get a

I get in that bed with you before the sun goes down?” That sexy husky tone, right in my ear, extracting goosebumps. The zipper already below waist level and I hadn’t even felt it go down. I open my eyes and give a little squeak when he slides his hand up my dress and connects in the one place,

ninja moves of seduction

his hand away by connecting with his arm and throw him back a look that’s meant to tell him off, but he just grins. Amused, unaffected and smug because he knows he’s got me right where he wants me. Moving into this

and try like crazy to reach the zip on my dress, but Arry is relentless. Hooking me with his arm and pulling me around so I’m face to face before he plants a hard kiss on my lips. His hand is fast, and he has me in a flash, up in a show of strength and speed, and flat on my back on the bed. I let out

of me with a hand planted firmly between my thighs in the blink of an eye,

sliding my legs apart to give him full access, despite my

wickedly confident in his sexual prowess and I don’t refuse. Hating myself for being so pathetic, but at the same time, how can I ever turn down all the hotness of the single sexiest man I

tongue against mine, bringing me to complete control with the way he only can make love to my mouth. Arry is working his fingers under the edge of my underwear and I exhale slowly, urging him to keep going even as I pull away and frown at

curling myself around him, tilting my head so his lips graze mine more intimately, allowing him to move against me snugly and turn me on effortlessly. He still feels like he was made to fit me perfectly and every time we connect in this way it only highlights

skin under the fabric of my panties. I exhale, body turning to liquid instantly and struggle to not close my eyes and get lost in how it feels. He can ignite fire with a touch,

probes me gently, carefully edging into me, testing to see

he puts everything into looking at me like he wants to peel my clothes off with his teeth. My stomach tingles in anticipation and I know I’ve lost; no one makes me feel as beautiful and sexy as he does with just a look. Arry is my ultimate Achilles

he goes for my neck instead, sucking and nibbling me softly. Closing my eyes to savor what his mouth does to me when he pushes his hand further against me, his finger deepening so that I arch

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