The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

Chapter 184

“I hear you’re tagging along with me tonight?” Jake pats me on the head as he passes me in the kitchen and kisses Emma a little naughtily on the mouth. She giggles as his hands skim her body sneakily and I can almost imagine him winking at her before he pulls away as I watch that broad back and shoulders from this viewpoint.

I used to feel uncomfortable with their constant public affections and how often they get lost in each other. Now all I want is to be standing here with Arry this way and I’m impatient to go back to the city to see him. Talking to Sylvana earlier gave me the kick up the butt I needed and now I don’t want to waste any more time.

Emma told me he was flying to the city for a few hours for work and I am taking full advantage of the Jake Carrero cab service.

“Yep. I’m going home to fix my life.” I smile confidently, my head has a plan and I am not waiting here another day to sort things out. I haven’t called him or text because I know I want to see him face to face. I need to work out exactly what I am going to say on the flight home. Nervous, anxious but I need to fix things with the one person who makes life bearable.

“Better put on a pretty dress then.” Jake smirks at me as he moves to the pots Emma has bubbling on the stove, filling the room with amazing smells and peeks inside. She slaps his butt when he sticks his finger in one and he gives her another kiss for the pleasure.

“My aim is not seduction, Jake, it’s talking things out.” I don’t think trying to bed Arry is going to help anything and as I am still recovering and still blood spotting then sex is the last thing on my mind. I’m not ready to go there yet. I doubt Arry will be either.

Emma shoves him out of the way, throwing me an exasperated look and butts him with her hip to get back in against her stove. He stands behind her and moves close enough that I know he’s probably ass poking her with his groin. He’s so transparent with his constant sexual advancements on his little blue-eyed girl.

“He’s having his farewell do with the staff from the sixty fifth floor tonight at the Pegu club, to say so long now he’s resigned.” Jake turns on me and watches with that know it all expression and I sag. I had no idea he was even having a ‘thing’ to cut ties with all the people he has worked with for years, it’s not like we have been talking at all.

Another failure at being his girlfriend, like I need any more on that list.

“Right. Good night to show up, huh? Either go wait all night for him at home to come back drunk and hard to handle or go embarrass myself in front of all his staff.” Great choice: my nerves soar high as my stomach plummets. I don’t want to sit in the apartment all night twiddling my thumbs and I can’t exactly call him and ask him to leave it early.

“Well you need to figure out if he’s worth it.” He grins at me and I know he’s being his asshole self and pretty much telling me to suck it up. I didn’t really plan on a public show down or reunion and now I am seriously doubting this whole thing.

“Guess I need to go rummage my case then, right?” I sigh defeatedly and try like crazy to ignore the churning fear growing inside of me. If I want to see him then I need to get a grip and show up at his night out, even if he might not exactly be happy to see me.

“Better move. I have my meeting with my dad and two clients to get to, so I can’t delay the flight for long.”

***

“Good luck, kiddo” Jake hands me my jacket from the back of his car and I slide across the seat to get out onto the sidewalk. It’s not late, only nine p.m. but already Soho is bustling with party goers and people out for a good time. I open the door slightly then smile when Jake’s driver pulls it fully for me and stands politely aside.

“Wish me luck.” I kiss him on the cheek quickly and Jake squeezes my hand as he lets me go. We didn’t really talk much on the flight because he knows I had to sit and think through what I need to say. He left me alone and worked on his laptop and I stared aimlessly at darkening sky and passing clouds. Nothing gets your head in perspective than a silent flight for an hour and lots of breathing space.

I’m sick with tension and nerves as I have no clue at all how he is going to be when he sees me. I was too scared to text him in case he told me not to come and now my flip flop of organs and butterfly stomach flutters are doing nothing to help me get calm.

“I’ll have my driver drop your case off at the apartment for you going home. Call me if you need me. I’ll be in the city until late with this dinner meeting.”

“Okay. I’m sure it will be fine and if not. I can get a cab to our apartment; it’s still my home too.” I reassure him, crossing my fingers that I won’t be going home alone after this.

“You look beautiful and you have an upper hand. Arrick is crazy about you, even if he’s not in a good place.” Jake’s serious tone sort of hints that I should expect a little Arry resistance and I swallow hard.

This isn’t going to be easy.

I opted for an Audrey Hepburn number that I know he loves on me and small heels. My hair is down and curled and I have spent way too long on that flight making my almost not there make up perfect. I know he will be blown

wish I had the confidence to match how

wave and glance before I cross the sidewalk to the overflowing

start searching the long narrow walkway stretched out between the bar and the seating nooks to try and find him. Standing on tip toes every few steps

pretty urban looking space, warm and glowy with wood floors and leather seating in various earthy tones. It’s totally the kind of place Arrick likes to go, not over pretentious and grand, just down to earth, and real. It almost has a rustic vibe in small elements,

myself in between crowds as I try to make my way further back. If

takes me a minute to spot a large group of people who stand out obviously, as most of them are dressed like they came from an office and are not done up like

group because now I need to ask relative strangers where he is and make it obvious, I wasn’t invited. I’m trying to not let

blindly into someone while I am so busily focused on where I am going and

when I come eye

Arrick. I try not to scowl at her,

I swear I see an ounce of disappointment

in the men’s room.” She responds a little cattily and I glance back at the bud in

date. I know him. I have to not read anything into this and

and attempt to pull

of which.” She immediately perks up and pushes past me, extending the bud and as I turn around. I am hit with the full force of seeing my boy in all his glory again for the first time. He hasn’t automatically clicked the blonde with his

looks so tailored on that muscular body, black and open wide and even though he’s obviously been at work in this outfit, it somehow looks right for this casual setting. He looks like my

seems to react. I feel like all the air gets sucked out of my lungs and the longing to jump into his arms

doesn’t look happy that I am here, and I have to remind myself that he doesn’t have to. I have to fix things and his reaction is something I should

I try for a smile; aware Amanda is still hanging around even if she has stepped back and I

I haven’t had any demanding texts from

with me and my behavior and he doesn’t look overly interested in talking it out. I hurt him more than even I have

try for a smile, trying to appear unaffected by the cutting words and remind myself of my plan to put things right. I ignore his sarcasm, because I know he’s trying to wound me an ounce of how I’ve hurt him, and I

wander off in the direction of the suited people nearby and Arrick

goes to walk past me, dismiss me, but I impulsively grab his arm and turn

to you.” It comes out childishly, all my rehearsed speeches and apologies falling to ashes when faced with a very

do you mean for pretty much acting like a spoiled brat and blaming me for everything that goes wrong in your life no matter what I do

Ouch.

away from me mode and I have never had to pull him out of this. He isn’t one to hold grudges or moods for a long

at all. Arry has sheltered, chased, and pampered me for so long that I don’t know how to be the one to make it all right.

for being so naïve and

was wrapped up in how I felt about you. You weren’t there when I needed you. I’m starting to realize it was only a matter of time

the tiny puzzle piece digging cruelly into my palm as I try to catch my breath. A symbol of what we are, and it feels

out brokenly, but he lifts his beer and takes a drink, looking away from me with a frown that almost seems to say,

and I have no head space for this shit right now.” It’s so defeated and low, almost as though he doesn’t even have the energy to even talk to me. He makes a move

but even as it’s killing me, I know I deserve all of it. He’s walking away, and I’m left standing here looking like some dumb unwanted weirdo. I don’t move, even when I catch Amanda glance my way and look away quickly, a moment of smug on her

infernal bar. Eyes filling up and insides crumbling. So many people get in my way and it’s near

I turn instinctively to battle whatever man thinks he can touch me, fierce sweeping over heart break and come

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