The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

Instead focus on my little feisty girl, that I couldn’t love more if I tried. I love winding her up in every way, just to pull out a reaction. She is one of the least feminist rights girls I know, but she does like to maintain her right to do as she pleases, regardless of sex.

“Mm, hmmm.” I press my lips together, holding in the urge to smile when she looks completely enraged and aims another slap my way. “Hey! I was agreeing with you.” I catch her hand mid-air, warmed by the jokiness between us and bend in impulsively, so intent on silencing that stroppy little mouth with wickedness. I pull her in against me as I tilt my head to get really close, still torn between aching to kiss her, and trying to be a gentleman where she is always concerned.

Drink is killing me with the amorous urges, but I am still too sober to bypass the side of me who cares too much, so I end up close, but not going through with it. I do however get a buzz from being intimately close enough to go either way, all touchy and pressed together and the widening look in her eyes as pupils dilate makes me stir back to the sexual tension from before. She makes me crazy, so easily.

“Rabid kitten!” I know my tone is flirty; I can’t deny right now I am completely flirting with her, and as alien as it is to do so with Sophie, it feels kind of good too. Natural, subtly sexual, and a lot of touchy feely, is safer than full blown thoughts of sex and kissing. Maybe I should stop over analyzing this and go with the flow tonight, see where flirting takes me, relax a little and get used to this weird new dimension between us. Maybe if I get to the club and drink some more, then I will stop always pulling my brain apart with doubts and see how we go. Not against kissing her again if that’s where this is going to head, I just need less thinking, more doing.

I kiss her on the temple, after contemplating one on the mouth, letting my hand slide down her small straight back until I land on the curve of her ass and stop. I hesitate about going lower, feeling her up and seeing how far I can go with this, but something inside of me stops me. That eternal part of me that can never step beyond that line when it comes to her. Even when we kissed, I was always holding back from going one step further.

Sophie leans into my body unexpectedly, sagging against me and despite it igniting the horniness again, it also ignites the part of me that wants to take care of her. The deep ingrained part who wants to shield her from sordid mess and horny men, even if it’s me, and I have to curb the urge to sigh at how easily she just cooled my libido. Like a bucket of cold water dousing out the flames of passion, even though I can tell that was not her intention. Sophie is a major head fuck in every way.

She snuggles up against me, a good height for doing so in those crazily high shoes, and I really do find myself torn between two really hard places, as I cuddle her in snugly. I look down at that angelic face, innocent eyes, and flawless beauty, so much trust and belief that I would never hurt her, and it kills me in one fell swoop. How can one girl make me crazy with longing at the same time as killing my fire for her, with overwhelming guilt, and a need to not let this happen? My eyes roam to the mouth I want to kiss more than anything in the world, but I just can’t. I’m in protector mode and she is too pure, too sweet, to even contemplate defiling.

“Asshole.” She spits back sassily, reminding me of all the millions of memories that we have together, how often we have been this way. Playful and relaxed, real best friends.

You don’t cross a line with your best friend. Especially one who needed you to not be like every other guy in the world. Especially when you held her sobbing in your arms, when she let out all the sordid shit that her father ever did to her. But then, your best friend shouldn’t be giving you the undying need to slide up her dress and fuck her up against an elevator wall, and deny it all I want, I can’t keep my head from straying there over and over tonight.

That dress has knocked me for six on her, the sultry make up and sleek hair. The way she keeps pouting at me, all eyes and seductive mouth, and I am getting strong vibes that she wants me to kiss her too. She is hardly acting like the demure sweet kid I am used to right now, every movement and mannerism, every touch between us in the last few minutes. Sophie is almost giving me free reign to take her, and I can’t ignore it. My Casanova radar is still fully functioning, from years of playing the field, and I know strong come ons when I get them, probably why I’m malfunctioning on all levels. I already know how she feels about me, so this would be like taking complete advantage of her.

“What happened to Massive Douchebag, I liked that one, it has a sexy ring to it.” I nudge her suggestively with my hip, so she is knocked away slightly, biting on my lip to curb the urge to drag her back and follow through with sliding my hands up those thighs under her short coat, and figure hugging dress. Sophies eyes go straight to my mouth and it’s like a jolt to my crotch, burning my dick into another impending erection I have no control over. I thank god for wearing my longer jacket and hiding my misdemeanors from her. For the first time in life I thank my dad for giving me his poker face, and skills at never really letting people know what’s going on in my head from sight alone. It’s the only thing saving us from each other.

Fuck, I want her.

“You are all of the above and much, much, more.” She frowns at me, I can’t tell if it’s because she’s being playful, or because I haven’t followed through on all her little sexy signals to kiss her. The air is static with the tension between us, and whether she is aware she is doing it or not, Sophie is giving me the come to bed eyes crazily bad, in this moment. My body stirs to fever pitch and I slap her ass to propel her out of the elevator a little more aggressively that I meant too. It’s a knee jerk reaction to create distance before I start humping her into a corner and throw all caution to the wind. I haven’t been this hormonal since puberty, and it’s unnerving as hell.

floor, worried for a second she might fall, as I tense in readiness to catch her. She doesn’t and straightens to a normal graceful saunter ahead of me that brings my eyes back to her ass. I need to put distance between us, before I

not be alone for much longer, while I’m this weak. All this crazy sexual tension aside, I really need a

life back then. No worries, no stress or torn up head with two women

nods our way and holds out a candy for Sophs. She effortlessly wraps people around her little finger, it’s one of her most mesmerizing gifts and it seems my doorman isn’t any different. I watch her skip towards him proudly, heart swelling with the knowledge that despite her childhood, she has an infectiousness about her that people swarm to. She’s loveable, easy to like, and that smile could win anyone around, even my father who doesn’t just

appreciatively, marvel at how warm she always makes me feel inside when she is being this

giggles cutely, all her mannerisms are dainty and elegant, and I marvel at once upon a time, when she was all clumsy tomboy and two left feet. She

fate do as it pleases. I’m tired of always battling with my own head and suddenly, I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to get fucked up drunk, and do whatever

Frank, we shouldn’t be too late. This one has a curfew.” I nod at the back of her head, pulling her with me as I head to the door, so she follows closely. Curfew isn’t exactly true. However long it takes to get drunk and see where this goes, is more likely. I will carry her back here in an

visualize Sophs, and again have to battle the shoot up in body heat and blood temp, and tear my

having a tough time controlling. Inward steady breaths and visualizing naked men to cool myself down again. One quick way to combat an erection, is to imagine my best mate Nate, naked and ready to go, that always does the trick. I have never doubted my sexuality at all, and any man ready to impale something with a hard on, gets

with an evil smile. Teasing Sophs is still the highlight of my life and I doubt it will ever grow old. I love her reactions and the ability I have to do it any time I want. I suck it a little and it tastes of strawberries and her, well the memory I have of kissing her and the stirrings in my groin only get stronger. I curse myself

over and

I slide in beside her. The cab already smells of her perfume and it’s pretty heady in closed confines. Petulant little miss. Sexy little minx. Sophie whips the candy out of my mouth, with a little screwed up nose look, and sticks it back in her own. No cares about the fact we just shared saliva and it makes me wish we could actually do that instead of sharing a lollipop. She looks kissable as hell right now and if I wasn’t trying to be the good guy eternally, I would have my

I nudge her, flirting again, because I can’t help myself and yank my door shut. I lean forward and give the cab driver the nightclub address we are going too, overly aware of her sitting so close to me and sink back to let this warm fuzzy feeling from the vodka flow over me again.

has given

out of control and I need to calm this shit down, because I’m acting like some prepubescent teen with the serious horn. If I don’t

if my mind is set, I can still be classy about my route to getting shit faced

Steady on, Arry. Where the hell are all

give myself a seriously needed pep talk, and lecture. How this shouldn’t be happening, that my head needs to stay on track and cut this bullshit out where she is concerned. As hard as it is, or my dick may be, I cannot allow myself to turn into this much of an asshole, and I need to

am so easy to dismiss nowadays,

her I needed time to sort my head out and there is still a chance for us. I haven’t been acting that way tonight and I should be fucking ashamed of myself instead of hatching plans to fuck another girl. I am literally dragging both along, while committing to neither and this isn’t who I am at all. I reach for Sophie impulsively, not really gauging where I lay my hand as I

at my insides now I have brought Tash to the forefront of my mind, and surprisingly, or maybe not, the urge to fuck anyone, dies with her face appearing in my head. The irony of Natasha killing my sexual urge is

horny asshole tonight. Screw my plan to see where this goes. I need to stay sober and make a decision about where my life is heading and end this. I have no clue why I am having so much more of a problem with it tonight... well, maybe I do. Ever since