The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

Arrick’s POV

~ Watching Sophie dance with Natasha ~

“Here, you look like you need these” Nate pushes the tray of shots between us on the high table by the window, overlooking the dancefloor and I smile his way weakly. I feel like hell, already drunk and intend to get more so.

“And the rest.” I raise my brows in defeat and down the five Jaeger Bombs in a row he has bought for me, before washing away the taste with a beer and pray to god the alcohol hits fast and kills this agony I’m feeling tonight. Restless, head a mess and sometimes I curse this brain of mine for how it operates. Jake got my dad’s decisive mind and arrogant attitude in most things; I got my mom’s caring brain and worry wart nature.

For the most part I don’t mind it, but in this, it sucks like hell and if I were Jake, I probably would already be shacked up in bed with whatever girl did it for me the most. I know which one it is, but morally she isn’t the right choice.

“So, what is the deal? What’s changed?” Nate looks down at the floor, drawing my attention to the two women dancing among the crowds down there, and I cannot make myself look. Sophie and Natasha down there, all cozy and dancing like best friends is only making this so much worse, and I have no clue what the fuck I am doing. I feel like I have been pulled backwards through a meat grinder and only scathed by enough to survive.

Alternate reality!

I sag and sigh, body using the window frame as an anchor and I feel like my life has been one long ulcer this past few weeks. Drink hits me slowly, enveloping me with that warm fuzzy feeling which numbs it all down a little and frees my head up to be less highly strung.

“Time happened. The longer this goes on, the harder it gets. Because my head is now on the, I wonder what fucking her would feel like, stage. We both know that road is a slippery slope and I am fucked if I know what to do.” I wipe my hand down my face and sigh again, dramatically. Despite myself, I look down and see them together, and just groan and look away again. When I don’t see Tasha face to face, it’s easier to not give a shit about her in all of this. Then I see her, and that wounded expression and the hints of the girl I liked when I started dating her shine through, and it fucks me up all over again. I can’t say I don’t care about her, because I do. I maybe do not love her like I once thought I did, but there is still something there.

“You can’t keep dangling two women, while screwing neither, mate. That is completely hellish to your libido.” Nate grins and I throw him a defeated frown, no further with this than when I walked in here. Only now I am so much more drunk. I close my eyes for a moment to let that heady feeling penetrate and hope to god that one night on the tiles will give my head a break.

“I can’t go on like this. I need to make a choice or lose both of them.” I frown back down and catch sight of what looks like Sophs trying to get Tasha to mimic her in a dance move. I pause for a second to watch the hilarity in what she’s doing and feel that same weight of guilt hit me in the chest. How clueless Natasha looks while mirroring Sophie, giving her sexy dance moves so elegantly, and how trusting Sophie is that I will do right by her.

I’m fucking both of them up, and not being a decent guy to either of them. Natasha doesn’t even know any of this, and Sophie is being forced to act like none of it is happening, so she doesn’t find out. I hate myself right now.

become this guy?

to the dancefloor and I hit him in the gut with a hard reflex. Anger spiking irrationally, even though I know

you know it.” I glare angrily, and he grins at me like an ass. My temper ignited like it did in the cab and for the life of me I cannot recall ever having this reaction for

a thing for, but your reflexes do.” He smirks at me

sigh and down the rest of my beer in a bid to just get drunker and stop analyzing everything. It’s exhausting at the best of times but right now

leans back against the window and cradles his beer, looking down to the side and the girls for a moment as I stare at him. He watches them intensely and smiles my

I knew the answer to this question, then I would have picked already. Except the answers are not clear cut and all the variables and shit that goes with each girl make that question a mess to navigate. Sophie is the one with the entire loaded side of wrongs,

were never friends before we dated, and her family

how it feels?” Nate blinks at me, completely serious and I frown at him hard. He has no concept of how stupid a statement that even is. He’s a guy with severe commitment issues, who keeps women at arm’s length and has screwed every girl in our circle of friends in the past, without giving a shit about the afters. Most of them are okay with him now, but for a while each of them hated on him with a

probably the biggest, single most stupid thing I could ever do. Sex between us would shift everything and if I only did it as a test it would destroy it all. My problem is that I give too much of a shit about both of them, even if at times, I don’t care about Tasha as much as I should, but I care enough to feel guilt and indecision. I felt wrecked after kissing Sophie the first time, when Tasha was still my girlfriend

So gallant, Arry.

I don’t give her enough value, appreciate what she means to me. Two years she has been by my side, and in all that time we have never fought, never broken up or went to bed angry. It’s a calm, safe, stable sort of relationship that has dulled and become numbing, and I

thought she had ambition when I met her, ideas on what she wanted to do for herself, in life. I mean, I met her as a nurse, she seemed passionate and caring, while tending her patients and I was in awe of how single minded and focused she

with her nothing is ever dull, or routine. She changes her mind like the weather, she’s spontaneous and fun. Together we laugh and act like kids, and she’s happy to follow the plans we make with my friends and go with the

decision to go to school. I know she’ll do it; I have every faith in her because I know her. Sophie isn’t a girl you marry and tie down with kids and motherhood. She’s a shining star who will continue to glow and inspire those around her. And even if she does settle down with marriage and babies, she’ll still look for fulfilment beyond that role. We connect in that

to him and I realize I have been daydreaming, while staring down at the two of them dancing awkwardly. Even from up here I can tell that Sophie has given up trying to get Natasha to throw some moves around the floor. She has no chance, she’s too uptight and rigid to be as much of a dancer as Sophs is. She hasn’t got that carefree confident side like she has. No rhythm, no grace, and fluid movement like Sophs

so much more anal and rigid. I wonder if it’s because I became so much more distant and withdrew inside myself when things began to get stale. I wonder if I made her this way, and now here I am, contemplating breaking her heart and pushing her aside for a girl who has more spark. It’s cruel and shallow, and as I watch Natasha down there, I feel completely shitty about everything I have been doing these past weeks. She looks so small and unsure down there among

Where has he been?

and pushing Natasha aside over and over. When faced with her, I keep pushing down the guilt and try to ignore it, always putting Sophie at the forefront of my head and acting like Natasha’s feelings don’t matter. Pushing her aside all this time, and ignoring my inner feelings, in a bid to justify breaking up and looking