The Silent Alpha

 ***Vanessa*** 

All morning, the pack medical team has been examining me, testing my brain function and my patience with their incessant questions.

What makes this entire experience upsetting, however, is the fact that my own husband has not even bothered to check up on me.

I don’t expect to be coddled or doted on as Christian is not exactly a very nurturing man even when he was with Natalia, but still, a simple "Hey, how are you feeling?" would have been nice.

To make matters worse, my head is pounding and it feels like every part of my body is overstimulated.

My ears are so sensitive and the sound of the heart monitor beeping is only making my headache worse.

Even my eyes burn from all the damn light coming in from the window and I’ve been given sunglasses to alleviate the pain.

All this stimulation seems to be playing tricks on my mind because I swear I hear whines and barks in my head throughout the examinations.

I don’t think much of the sounds though, chalking it all up to my imagination and exhaustion.

Where the f**k is my Gamma? I wonder, looking around the empty hospital room.

Shouldn’t Jordan at least be here to take care of me? He used to take care of Natalia all the time whenever she was sick.

No matter what I do, I will always be stuck in her shadow.

Growing up, Natalia was the perfect golden child.

She was naturally very smart, always landing a spot on the Honor Roll while I always struggled to keep up.

I had to work twice as hard to make the list and when I showed my mother my report card for a tiny bit of recognition, she just shrugged and tossed it on the table.

"What do you want? A reward?" she scoffed sarcastically.

"Estas pero bien pendeja {You are an i***t!}.This is the bare minimum.I did not leave my country for you to not take advantage of your education.You should always make the honor roll, just like your sister.Deja de andar con tus babosadas y ayudame a hacer de comer {Enough with your stupidity and help me make dinner}."

I never showed her my report card again after that.

With Natalia being such a damn star in academics, I turned to the next best thing, sports.I joined the soccer team and worked my way to captain on the cheer team.

Did it matter? No.

My mother was always too busy taking Natalia to her debate meets, her volunteering programs at the local nursing homes, and her community service activities at the rec center to ever see me cheer.

I had to build my own support group, seeking recognition in the amount of friends I had and attention from the football team.I was labeled a slut for most of highschool, though I never did could get attention for: my looks.I inherited my mother’s pale skin and green eyes and she always praised me for looking so pretty.I was dumb but pretty.

Of course, that quickly backfired.

One night, while at a highschool party, I met a college boy from the nearby university, Skyler, through some friends.

He asked me to join him for a drink in the master bedroom and being the dumb b***h that I was and excited to have caught the attention of an older man, I agreed.

I do not remember most of that night, only that I woke up naked in bed early the next morning with a soreness between my thighs.

Ashamed, I ran all the way home, convincing myself that nothing happened to me, that it was just a strange coincidence.

For many reasons, I never told anyone.

My parents would have been angry at me for sneaking out and the cops would have said I was asking for it by dressing the way I did and agreeing to drink with the boy in the bedroom.

Besides, it was my word against his and who would believe the promiscuous girl in school was raped? After that, I did everything I could to erase Skyler off my body, f*****g anything with a pulse to distance myself from that turbid night.

I learned to see s*x as just an act, an exchange and nothing more.

My nightmare of an existence continued into college.

Unlike Natalia who always knew exactly what she wanted, I was completely lost.

With an undecided major, my parents were not "Become an engineer," my mom would say.

"They make good money."

But my brain is not wired like an engineer.It’s wired like a cactus s**t really hit the fan when Natalia became an EMT and then started working towards her Medical Assistant certification with the ultimate goal of going to PA school while I was still deciding what the f**k I wanted to do with my life.

I turned to the only thing I knew, partying and drinking to numb the emptiness inside that was slowly starting to consume me.

That all changed when I met Christian.

He was like a beacon of hope.I had seen him in a few classes but it wasn’t until we were paired for a sociology project that I finally got to know him.

He was funny and charming, always very polite whenever we got together.

Unlike most men I had met up until that point, Christian didn’t try to jump into my pants at the first opportunity.

He made me laugh until my stomach hurt and we'd talk for hours about nothing and everything.

More than anything, though, he was the first person to make me feel smart.

"Damn, Nessa.You are one smart Lady.Why didn’t I think of that?"

He used to tell me whenever I got an idea for our sociology presentation.

made me feel warm and fuzzy inside that someone actually

than a little hurt to realize perhaps it was all in

he was looking for his other half and could only offer

in time he would see me as someone

by, I grew impatient and I decided to try the ol’ make

begrudgingly brought Natalia to a frat party I knew Christian would be going to, for the sake of parents but bringing her proved to be

hoping to catch Christian’s attention but it was all over the moment he walked up

down on

just a few months later,

disappointed with Natalia but I could not even enjoy it because she

find myself there only to be brought back when the

parents and I

implored me to come live with her, probably feeling

her and Christian but to be honest, I was struggling

community

Moon Goddess that maybe just one wolf, just one out of

Goddess herself, I struck a

struggling to conceive and the once perfect Luna

my

Christian to my advantage, becoming a shoulder on which he could rest his head and complain

the bed over and over again and in

out, being Luna is

all of my shortcomings and loved to tell me just how wonderful of a

she is not even the biggest

quite frankly, the biggest asshole

infuriating is the fact that the pack can’t seem to forget

boils as I look around

wishing her a speedy

sound of a small whine in my head startles me,

bursts open, Beta Derek strolling into the room with a gym

eyes meet, a flutter of butterflies dancing in my belly and something stirring

he whispers, my eyes widening in

a pull towards him before! I think to

Derek drops the gym back, his

the features of his face

speak, the spell breaks, Derek

sparks tingling across my face

the heart monitor from the wall, one of his hands still covering

of what to do before he

he murmurs to himself,

why I cannot accept you," he pleads, the sound of a whimper escaping

whimper, dread settling in the

I want a

I want love too....

as I look into the eyes of the man whose soul completes

"I’m sorry,"

tears lining

"I’m very sorry...but...we-"

to find the words, fighting with his own wolf but ultimately winning

"Please..."

I can stop it, a part of me hoping it could somehow change

face softens, both of his hands cupping my cheeks as

world and all of its problems fading

most breathtaking kiss I have ever experienced, but the bliss lasts

Pack, reject you, Vanessa Vasquez as my mate," he whispers, pulling up the blanket to my chin and stuffing into my mouth to stifle my

center of my

and making it hard to get air ending waves, the tide overwhelming all of my

blur my vision as I sob into the blanket, my

Derek never leaves my side until it finally subsides and he removes the drenched blanket from

tries to caress my cheek with the back of his finger but I pull away from his touch, fearful that the

act on it, instead

throat to demand I complete the rejection when Dr.Lila

are human drugs and we do not carry them here so you'll need to

return shortly to take me home before following Dr.Lila

door closing, I jump out of bed and

Derek’s car keys and shoving them

and pulling on my hoodie, down the hall so as

as I walk out of the pack

cash and a credit card in the glove compartment,

bag, I pull out of the pack clinic, my wolf

mind, I drive down the road towards the

***Derek (Christian’s Beta)*** 

within Vanessa upon seeing her, feeling his

appears no one else can sense it, however, as no one has informed me of any changes to the Luna.You rejected her ...my

did you reject her? We’ve waited years.She's the Luna, Cas, I sigh.She

doesn’t plan to keep her for much

argues, his tail

don’t even know where to begin explaining why Vanessa

she’s in