Accidental Surrogate

Sinclair

Don’t shift, don’t shift, don’t shift. I think manically Ella needs you.

Listening to Ella recount her childhood always makes me furious, but this time is

worse than all the others. I’ve suspected that Ella suffered terrible traumas for some

time now, but before this night l’d been able to pacify my outrage with the hope that

I’m wrong.

No longer.

As Ella speaks, I wonder how she could ever imagine herself weak. I can’t even stand

to listen to her story, but she actually lived it. She sacrificed herself for her sister, and

she survived things I can only imagine

“When the matron realized it was me, she smiled so cruelly that my stomach turnedshe was only too glad to take, me instead of Cora.” Ella continues, shuddering with

the memory. Her unease gives my wolf the push he needed to put aside his own rage

and comfort her. I finally manage a weak purr, and Ella presses her nose to my chest,

breathing in my scent.

“She took me to her own room and put me in her bed, and then she got in with me

and.. started touching me in ways I didn’t like or understand.

She made me touch her too, and she never stopped talking She told me how pretty I

was over and over, and kept asking me if I liked it. I said no, but she just insisted that

this was a special, secret game I was lucky to play. She said everything I was feeling

might be confusing, but it was good and right and natural. She said it took practice,

but that we’d have plenty of time.. Afterwards she took me back to the dorm with a

reminder not to share our secret. Cora asked me what happened but I didn’t know

how to explain.”

“The next day I went to the doctor in residence, and I told him what the matron had

done. I’d never liked him much, but in my heart I knew what had happened was

wrong, and I didn’t know who else to tell. I thought that since it was about my body,

the doctor was the one who could help. There was no such thing as sex ed at the

orphanage and no one else ever talked to us about our bodies. At first I was relieved

to tell someone. The doctor seemed very concerned, and agreed that it sounded

strange.”

me that

stops now, and her shaking is

know she isn’t cold and I

clothes and put me on the exam table. and

he said, ‘now it’s very important that you be still, Ella. This

if you

she quotes

wolf. “Then he said, T

nifty straps to help you.

me down. and then he asked me exactly

did, and when I explained he would

I didn’t answer, if I cried or objected, he

demand I tell him”

first minute or so I figured out what he was about, and I

I didn’t

on my body. They were far

I told him how to hurt

and she looks up at me for

she offers me a bitter

okay, big bad wolf, it’s almost

snarl becomes a whine, and Ella determinedy forges on. “I was too young

but I knew how it made me feel: guilty,

it to happen again,

Cora who weren’t

me she didn’t!I have a horrible sick feeling

back in time and whisk Ella away from that

could hurt her.

meant other children would be hurt, which is how

brilliant little mate would never stand by and

child be abused… even if it meant being

stopped hiding at night. I gave myself up

more than I already was, and it was

destroyed.” Ella shares, confirming my fears

her logic. “The matron

me in for check ups every few weeks. I hated

matron was sort of gentle, and she

to inflict pain, she seemed determined to make me

doctor was different. He was a true sadist; he loved my fear, loved my pain.

escalated over time.” Ella hides her face in my neck as she concludes her

r*ped me, and that’s when

other girls to run with us, but most were more

matron. Luckily they didn’t know

to never confide in

tightly on Ella I’m afraid I must be hurting her,

doesn’t complain.

still crying, but her muscles have unwound now that her story

my own eyes, and I can only kiss and

everything she shared.

there? The matron and the doctor?” I finally

hiss.

I could only live outside

the first winter, but eventually the police found us squatting

and returned us to the orphanage.