Accidental Surrogate

Sinclair

Don’t shift, don’t shift, don’t shift. I think manically Ella needs you.

Listening to Ella recount her childhood always makes me furious, but this time is

worse than all the others. I’ve suspected that Ella suffered terrible traumas for some

time now, but before this night l’d been able to pacify my outrage with the hope that

I’m wrong.

No longer.

As Ella speaks, I wonder how she could ever imagine herself weak. I can’t even stand

to listen to her story, but she actually lived it. She sacrificed herself for her sister, and

she survived things I can only imagine

“When the matron realized it was me, she smiled so cruelly that my stomach turnedshe was only too glad to take, me instead of Cora.” Ella continues, shuddering with

the memory. Her unease gives my wolf the push he needed to put aside his own rage

and comfort her. I finally manage a weak purr, and Ella presses her nose to my chest,

breathing in my scent.

“She took me to her own room and put me in her bed, and then she got in with me

and.. started touching me in ways I didn’t like or understand.

She made me touch her too, and she never stopped talking She told me how pretty I

was over and over, and kept asking me if I liked it. I said no, but she just insisted that

this was a special, secret game I was lucky to play. She said everything I was feeling

might be confusing, but it was good and right and natural. She said it took practice,

but that we’d have plenty of time.. Afterwards she took me back to the dorm with a

reminder not to share our secret. Cora asked me what happened but I didn’t know

how to explain.”

“The next day I went to the doctor in residence, and I told him what the matron had

done. I’d never liked him much, but in my heart I knew what had happened was

wrong, and I didn’t know who else to tell. I thought that since it was about my body,

the doctor was the one who could help. There was no such thing as sex ed at the

orphanage and no one else ever talked to us about our bodies. At first I was relieved

to tell someone. The doctor seemed very concerned, and agreed that it sounded

strange.”

told me that he needed

words are coming in starts and stops now, and her shaking is getting worse.

is still steaming around us, so I know she isn’t cold and I know the worst

and put me on the exam table.

the way he said, ‘now it’s very important that you

to, and if you move

cheeks as she quotes the doctor, and it takes

“Then he said, T know little girls can have a

I have these nifty straps to help you.

down. and then he asked me

did, and when I explained he would touch me

answer, if I cried or

demand I tell him”

so I figured out what he was

didn’t speak he would start guessing

on my body. They were far worse

told him how to

ferocious snarl, and she looks up at me for the first time

eyes are overflowing, but she offers me a bitter smile and

my jaw. “It’s okay, big bad wolf,

Ella determinedy forges on.

did those things, but I knew how it made me feel:

never wanted it to happen again,

Cora who weren’t

No, no, no tell me she didn’t!I have a horrible sick feeling in my

go back in time and whisk Ella

could hurt her.

have meant other children would be hurt, which is how

brave, brilliant

child be abused… even if

gave myself up so the others

couldn’t be ruined more than I already was,

destroyed.” Ella shares, confirming my

her logic. “The matron came almost every

ups every few weeks. I hated those visits worse

and she never tied

want to inflict pain, she

a true sadist; he loved my fear, loved my pain.

escalated over time.” Ella hides her face

and that’s when Cora

with us, but most

were of the matron. Luckily they didn’t know about the doctor, and

who stayed behind to

Ella I’m afraid I must be hurting her, but

doesn’t complain.

crying, but her muscles have unwound now

and I can only kiss and

she shared.

they still there? The matron and the doctor?”

hiss.

could only live outside

stay away through the first winter, but eventually the police found

to the orphanage. When