Accidental Surrogate

Sinclair

Don’t shift, don’t shift, don’t shift. I think manically Ella needs you.

Listening to Ella recount her childhood always makes me furious, but this time is

worse than all the others. I’ve suspected that Ella suffered terrible traumas for some

time now, but before this night l’d been able to pacify my outrage with the hope that

I’m wrong.

No longer.

As Ella speaks, I wonder how she could ever imagine herself weak. I can’t even stand

to listen to her story, but she actually lived it. She sacrificed herself for her sister, and

she survived things I can only imagine

“When the matron realized it was me, she smiled so cruelly that my stomach turnedshe was only too glad to take, me instead of Cora.” Ella continues, shuddering with

the memory. Her unease gives my wolf the push he needed to put aside his own rage

and comfort her. I finally manage a weak purr, and Ella presses her nose to my chest,

breathing in my scent.

“She took me to her own room and put me in her bed, and then she got in with me

and.. started touching me in ways I didn’t like or understand.

She made me touch her too, and she never stopped talking She told me how pretty I

was over and over, and kept asking me if I liked it. I said no, but she just insisted that

this was a special, secret game I was lucky to play. She said everything I was feeling

might be confusing, but it was good and right and natural. She said it took practice,

but that we’d have plenty of time.. Afterwards she took me back to the dorm with a

reminder not to share our secret. Cora asked me what happened but I didn’t know

how to explain.”

“The next day I went to the doctor in residence, and I told him what the matron had

done. I’d never liked him much, but in my heart I knew what had happened was

wrong, and I didn’t know who else to tell. I thought that since it was about my body,

the doctor was the one who could help. There was no such thing as sex ed at the

orphanage and no one else ever talked to us about our bodies. At first I was relieved

to tell someone. The doctor seemed very concerned, and agreed that it sounded

strange.”

me that he needed to examine

in starts and stops now, and

know she isn’t

yet. “He took off my clothes and put me on the

said, ‘now it’s very important that you be

to, and if

she quotes the doctor, and it takes

wolf. “Then he said, T know little girls can

have these nifty straps to help you. He pulled out restraints

down. and then he asked me exactly what

I explained he would touch me exactly how she had,

I didn’t answer, if I cried or objected, he would only do

demand I tell him”

figured out what he was about, and I didn’t

if I didn’t speak he would

abuses, always demonstrating them on my body. They were far worse

I answered. I told him how to hurt me.” Ella

looks up at me

offers me a bitter smile

okay, big

snarl becomes a whine, and Ella determinedy

why they did those things, but I knew how it made

wanted it to happen again,

like Cora who weren’t

no, no tell me she didn’t!I have a horrible sick feeling in my

time and whisk

could hurt her.

have meant other children would be hurt, which is how

what Ella did. My brave, brilliant

child be abused… even if it meant being abused

I stopped hiding at night. I gave myself up

I couldn’t be ruined more than I already was, and it was better

to be destroyed.” Ella shares, confirming my

her logic. “The matron came almost every night…

every few weeks. I hated those

gentle, and she never tied me down

pain, she seemed

different. He was a true sadist; he loved my fear,

time.” Ella hides her face in my neck as she

he r*ped me, and that’s when Cora

girls to run with us, but most were more afraid of

they didn’t know about the doctor, and I

who stayed behind to never

Ella I’m afraid I

doesn’t complain.

her muscles have unwound now

and I can only kiss and caress my sweet mate as

everything she

and the doctor?” I finally

hiss.

could only live

away through the first winter, but eventually the police found

to the