Accidental Surrogate

Sinclair

Don’t shift, don’t shift, don’t shift. I think manically Ella needs you.

Listening to Ella recount her childhood always makes me furious, but this time is

worse than all the others. I’ve suspected that Ella suffered terrible traumas for some

time now, but before this night l’d been able to pacify my outrage with the hope that

I’m wrong.

No longer.

As Ella speaks, I wonder how she could ever imagine herself weak. I can’t even stand

to listen to her story, but she actually lived it. She sacrificed herself for her sister, and

she survived things I can only imagine

“When the matron realized it was me, she smiled so cruelly that my stomach turnedshe was only too glad to take, me instead of Cora.” Ella continues, shuddering with

the memory. Her unease gives my wolf the push he needed to put aside his own rage

and comfort her. I finally manage a weak purr, and Ella presses her nose to my chest,

breathing in my scent.

“She took me to her own room and put me in her bed, and then she got in with me

and.. started touching me in ways I didn’t like or understand.

She made me touch her too, and she never stopped talking She told me how pretty I

was over and over, and kept asking me if I liked it. I said no, but she just insisted that

this was a special, secret game I was lucky to play. She said everything I was feeling

might be confusing, but it was good and right and natural. She said it took practice,

but that we’d have plenty of time.. Afterwards she took me back to the dorm with a

reminder not to share our secret. Cora asked me what happened but I didn’t know

how to explain.”

“The next day I went to the doctor in residence, and I told him what the matron had

done. I’d never liked him much, but in my heart I knew what had happened was

wrong, and I didn’t know who else to tell. I thought that since it was about my body,

the doctor was the one who could help. There was no such thing as sex ed at the

orphanage and no one else ever talked to us about our bodies. At first I was relieved

to tell someone. The doctor seemed very concerned, and agreed that it sounded

strange.”

he told me that

stops now, and

so I know she isn’t

yet. “He took off my clothes and put me on

‘now it’s very important that you be still, Ella. This is a

to, and if you move too much I

down Ella s cheeks as she quotes

to contain my wolf. “Then he said, T know

have these nifty straps to

the table and strapped me down. and then he asked me exactly what

would touch me

answer, if I cried or

demand I tell him”

so I figured out what he was about, and

his questions anymore, but if I didn’t speak he would start guessing

them on my body.

done.. So I answered. I told him how to hurt me.” Ella is

at me for

she offers me a bitter

okay, big bad wolf, it’s almost

and Ella determinedy forges on. “I was too young

why they did those things, but I knew how it made me feel: guilty,

wanted it to happen again, but I was already

like Cora who

no tell me she didn’t!I have a horrible

go back in time and whisk Ella away from that horrible place before

could hurt her.

have meant other children would

what Ella did. My brave, brilliant little mate

child be abused… even if it meant being abused

at night. I gave myself up so the

I couldn’t be ruined more than I already was,

shares, confirming my

her logic. “The matron came almost every night… and

call me in for check ups every few weeks. I hated those visits worse

of gentle, and she never tied

she seemed determined to make me like

doctor was different. He was a true sadist; he loved

Ella hides her face in

“When I was twelve he r*ped me, and that’s when Cora and I ran away. I

with us, but most were more afraid of living

the matron. Luckily they didn’t know about the

who stayed behind to never confide

so tightly on Ella I’m afraid I must be hurting her, but

doesn’t complain.

but her muscles have unwound now that her

tears in my own eyes, and I can only

everything she shared.

there? The matron and the

hiss.

Ella replies. “Cora and I could only

through the first winter, but eventually the police found us squatting

to the orphanage. When we got back