Accidental Surrogate

Sinclair

Don’t shift, don’t shift, don’t shift. I think manically Ella needs you.

Listening to Ella recount her childhood always makes me furious, but this time is

worse than all the others. I’ve suspected that Ella suffered terrible traumas for some

time now, but before this night l’d been able to pacify my outrage with the hope that

I’m wrong.

No longer.

As Ella speaks, I wonder how she could ever imagine herself weak. I can’t even stand

to listen to her story, but she actually lived it. She sacrificed herself for her sister, and

she survived things I can only imagine

“When the matron realized it was me, she smiled so cruelly that my stomach turnedshe was only too glad to take, me instead of Cora.” Ella continues, shuddering with

the memory. Her unease gives my wolf the push he needed to put aside his own rage

and comfort her. I finally manage a weak purr, and Ella presses her nose to my chest,

breathing in my scent.

“She took me to her own room and put me in her bed, and then she got in with me

and.. started touching me in ways I didn’t like or understand.

She made me touch her too, and she never stopped talking She told me how pretty I

was over and over, and kept asking me if I liked it. I said no, but she just insisted that

this was a special, secret game I was lucky to play. She said everything I was feeling

might be confusing, but it was good and right and natural. She said it took practice,

but that we’d have plenty of time.. Afterwards she took me back to the dorm with a

reminder not to share our secret. Cora asked me what happened but I didn’t know

how to explain.”

“The next day I went to the doctor in residence, and I told him what the matron had

done. I’d never liked him much, but in my heart I knew what had happened was

wrong, and I didn’t know who else to tell. I thought that since it was about my body,

the doctor was the one who could help. There was no such thing as sex ed at the

orphanage and no one else ever talked to us about our bodies. At first I was relieved

to tell someone. The doctor seemed very concerned, and agreed that it sounded

strange.”

that he

words are coming in starts and stops now, and her shaking

steaming around us, so I know she isn’t

put me on the exam table.

he said, ‘now it’s very important that you be still, Ella. This is

used to, and if

s cheeks as she quotes

contain my wolf. “Then he said, T know little girls

still, so I have these nifty straps

down. and then he asked me

explained he would touch me exactly how

and if I didn’t answer, if I cried or objected, he would only do it

demand I tell him”

so I figured out what he was about, and I didn’t want

I didn’t speak

on my

she’d done.. So I answered. I told him how to

up at me for the first time

Her eyes are overflowing, but she offers me a bitter

“It’s okay, big bad wolf,

whine, and Ella determinedy forges on. “I was

those things, but I knew how it made me

happen again, but I was already

like Cora who

me she didn’t!I have a horrible sick feeling in my stomach,

time and whisk Ella

could hurt her.

that only would have meant other children would be hurt, which is

My brave, brilliant little mate would

child be abused… even if

I gave myself up so the others

couldn’t be ruined more than I already

Ella shares, confirming my fears but also

explaining her logic. “The matron came almost every night…

call me in for check ups every

matron was sort of gentle, and she never tied me down or gagged

inflict pain, she seemed determined to make

a true sadist; he loved my fear, loved my pain.

time.” Ella hides her face in my neck as

and that’s

girls to run with us, but most were

Luckily they didn’t know about the

stayed behind to never

tightly on Ella I’m afraid I must

doesn’t complain.

still crying, but her muscles have unwound

are tears in my own eyes, and I can only kiss and caress

everything she

the doctor?”

hiss.

I could only live outside during the summers, and we

stay away through the first winter, but eventually

and returned us to the