Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

or think too deeply about

out of my class without saying a

as I rush to the teacher’s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one stops

to anyone

freeze up. I was expecting it to be at

a groan as I walk

I sit down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls not really sure

handle them. Especially given their relationship with Ethan

accept button instead

Ava?” she calls

Just release the

my dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t

at the

anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses to move. To utter a

fucking word.

my daughter, Ava and I want to be in your life. I want to be the

want to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose

breaks my heart.

my eyes. Damn it. I’ve been

slowly. Trying

that’s what you need, but always remember that

my heart even when I thought you had died.

and know that I’ll always be here for you if you need

It feels so good to be wanted, but I don’t know if

reply before hanging

but I just don’t know. What

2/4

+15 BONUS

Of being used. Of being a second choice just like I was

Rowan.

towards them. I was just

pieces of my heart.

Carol says walking towards my

I groan under my

she had a way of annoying the hell

her nose

shock. “With the way you’ve been

one would think you’re preggo” she finishes with

was joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her words ring in my mind like a

fear through every

behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to

right?”

lounge, I blindly ran

of the parking lot.

This couldn’t be happening. Please don’t let it be

back. Try to do the math, but my mind is so jumbled that

will probably be pulled for over speeding. I needed to confirm

Carol was wrong.

to the store, I park my car and rush