A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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deeply

saying

teacher’s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one stops me in

to anyone

to the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was

packed. I release a groan as I walk

rings just as I sit down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve

handle them. Especially given their relationship with Ethan I go to hang up, but I

accept button instead

Ava?” she calls

Just release the breath I

dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and

at the

say anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted

fucking word.

to be in your

you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another.

breaks my heart.

Damn it. I’ve been so

slowly. Trying

if that’s what you need, but always remember that I

even when I thought you had

be here for you if

be wanted, but I don’t know if I can trust them yet. Only

reply before

she’s saying, but I just don’t know. What

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what I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of

Rowan.

towards

pieces of my heart.

girl” Carol says walking towards my

I groan under

highschool teacher and she had a way of annoying the hell

to stick her nose in

at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating and

would think you’re preggo” she finishes with a laugh.

I freeze in my seat. Her words

every fiber of my

notices my behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know that I was just

right?”

through my body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school.

of the parking lot.

Please don’t let it be

Try to do the math, but my mind

caring that I will probably be pulled for

Carol was wrong.

park my car and rush out. Unluckily for me,

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