Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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+15 BONUS

that question or think too deeply about it,

without saying a single word to my

the teacher’s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one stops me in the hallway. I wasn’t really in the mood

to anyone

was

packed. I release a groan

sit down. Nora’s name

relationship with Ethan I go to

accept button instead

Ava?” she calls

don’t say anything. Just release the breath

me out. Don’t shut me and your father out” she whispers

catching at

don’t say anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses to move. To utter

fucking word.

in your life. I want to be the mother I was

child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after

breaks my heart.

it. I’ve been so emotional these

time” I tell her slowly. Trying to

that’s what you need,

always carried you in my heart even when I thought you had died. I hope you

know that I’ll always be here for you if you

It feels so good to be wanted, but I don’t know if I can trust them yet. Only

reply before hanging

What if

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what I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being

Rowan.

anything like that towards them. I was just

pieces of my heart.

says walking towards

groan under

a way of annoying

likes to stick her nose in

she looks at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating

preggo” she finishes with a laugh.

was joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her words ring in

every

frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You

right?”

of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of

of the parking lot.

be happening. Please don’t let

think back. Try to do the math, but my mind is

fast, not caring that I will probably be pulled for over speeding.

Carol was wrong.

the store, I park my car and rush