Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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+15 BONUS

deeply about it,

of my class without saying a single word to my

as I rush to the teacher’s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily,

to anyone

the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was expecting

a groan as I walk to

Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls not really sure

relationship with Ethan

accept button instead

Ava?” she calls

say anything. Just release the breath I was

dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and

at

if I wanted to. My mouth refuses to move. To

fucking word.

I want to be in your life. I want to be the mother I

I know you’re hurting and I want to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after

breaks my heart.

I’ve been so emotional

I tell her slowly. Trying to

releases a breath. “I’ll give you time if that’s what you need, but always remember that I

even when I thought you had died. I

be here for you if you need

to be wanted, but I don’t know if I can

I reply before hanging

just don’t know. What if

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+15 BONUS

gap. That’s what I’m afraid of. Of being used.

Rowan.

being cold or anything like that towards them. I was just trying to protect

pieces of my heart.

Carol says walking

I groan

she had a way of annoying

to stick her

she looks at me in shock. “With the way

think you’re preggo” she finishes with a laugh.

in my seat. Her words ring in

through every fiber of my

and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You

right?”

quickly stand up as panic starts coursing through my body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the

of the parking lot.

be happening. Please don’t let it

do the math, but

fast, not caring that I will probably be pulled

Carol was wrong.

store, I park my car and rush out. Unluckily for me,