Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

deeply about it, the bell rings Taking my

my class without saying

lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily,

to anyone

the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it to be at least somewhat

groan as I walk to the furthest

as I sit down. Nora’s name

handle them. Especially given their relationship with Ethan

accept button instead

Ava?” she calls

don’t say anything. Just release the

don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and your

at the

wanted to. My mouth refuses to move. To

fucking word.

daughter, Ava and I want to be in your life. I want to be the mother I was supposed

already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after finding you would kill me” she

breaks my heart.

fill my eyes. Damn it. I’ve been

slowly. Trying

give you time if that’s what you need, but always remember

my heart even when

always be here for

don’t know if I

reply before hanging

get what she’s saying, but I just don’t know. What if she’s just looking for someone to

2/4

+15 BONUS

That’s what I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice just like

Rowan.

like that towards

pieces of my heart.

Carol says

groan under my

teacher and she had a way of annoying the hell out

likes to stick her nose

shock. “With the way you’ve been eating and how moody you

preggo”

but I freeze in my seat. Her words ring in my mind like a broken

every

notices my behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know that I was just

right?”

blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately jump into my car

of the parking lot.

be happening. Please

to think back. Try to do the math, but my mind is so jumbled that I cannot

be pulled for over

Carol was wrong.

park my car and