Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 59

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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too deeply about it,

my class without saying a single word to my

to the teacher’s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go

to anyone

get to the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it to

damn packed. I release a groan

sit down. Nora’s name

given their relationship with Ethan I go to hang up,

accept button instead

she

anything. Just release the breath I was

dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and your father out”

catching at

couldn’t even if I wanted to. My

fucking word.

and I want to be in your life. I want to be

I want to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after finding

breaks my heart.

Damn it. I’ve been so emotional these past few

I tell her slowly.

you time if that’s

heart even when

I’ll always be here for you if you need me”

wanted, but I don’t know

reply

don’t know. What if she’s just looking

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gap. That’s what I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice just

Rowan.

or anything like that towards them. I was just trying to

pieces of my heart.

Carol says

I groan

a way of annoying

her nose in other people’s

she looks at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating

think you’re preggo” she

joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her words

every

notices my behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava?

right?”

blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of

of the parking lot.

This couldn’t be happening. Please don’t let it

but my mind is so

fast, not caring that I will probably be

Carol was wrong.

store, I park my car and rush out.

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