Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

deeply about it, the bell rings Taking my

out of my class without saying a single word to my

have to go to my

to anyone

lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it

damn packed. I release a groan as I walk to the

Nora’s name flashes. I’ve

given their relationship with Ethan I go to hang up,

accept button instead

she calls

say anything. Just release the

please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me

at the

couldn’t even if I wanted to. My

fucking word.

in your life. I want to be the mother I was supposed

one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after finding

breaks my heart.

fill my eyes. Damn it. I’ve

need time” I tell her slowly. Trying to

you time if that’s what you need, but

you in my heart even when I thought

know that I’ll always be here for you if you need

so good to be wanted, but I don’t

I reply before hanging

just don’t know. What if she’s just looking for someone to

2/4

+15 BONUS

what I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice just like

Rowan.

that towards them. I was just trying to

pieces of my heart.

says walking towards

groan

teacher and she had a way of annoying the hell out of

she likes to stick her nose

at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating

one would think you’re preggo”

my seat. Her words ring in my mind like

every fiber of my

okay, Ava? You have

right?”

as panic starts coursing through my body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately jump into my car and

of the parking lot.

This couldn’t be happening. Please don’t let it be happening.

do the math, but my mind is

drive fast, not caring that I will probably be

Carol was wrong.

I park my car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I bump into