Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

answer that question or think too deeply

of my class without saying a

teacher’s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no

to anyone

and freeze up. I was expecting it to be at

I release a groan

Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls not

Ethan I go to hang up, but

accept button instead

Ava?” she

don’t say anything. Just release the

dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and your

at

don’t say anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted

fucking word.

to be in your life. I want to be the mother I was

hurting and I want to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after finding you would kill me”

breaks my heart.

it. I’ve been

slowly.

“I’ll give you time if that’s what you need, but always remember that

always carried you in my heart even when I thought you had died. I hope

and know that I’ll always be here for you

to be wanted, but I don’t know if I can trust

reply before

what she’s saying, but I just don’t know. What if she’s just looking for someone to hang

2/4

+15 BONUS

I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice just like I

Rowan.

anything like that towards them. I was just

pieces of my heart.

girl” Carol says

I groan

junior highschool teacher and she had a

to stick her nose

“With the way you’ve been eating and

preggo” she finishes with a laugh.

freeze in my seat. Her words ring in my mind like a broken

every fiber of my

you okay, Ava? You have to know that

right?”

out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the

of the parking lot.

Please don’t

back. Try to do the math, but my mind is

be pulled for over

Carol was wrong.

car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I bump into