Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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+15 BONUS

can answer that question or think too deeply about it, the bell

class without saying

I rush to the teacher’s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one stops

to anyone

to the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it

groan as

as I sit down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls not

them. Especially given their relationship with Ethan I go

accept button instead

she

say anything. Just release the breath I

Don’t shut me and your father out” she

at

wanted to. My mouth refuses

fucking word.

I want to be in your life. I

I know you’re hurting and I want to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after finding you would kill

breaks my heart.

my eyes. Damn it. I’ve been so emotional

need time” I tell her slowly. Trying to push

releases a breath. “I’ll give you time if that’s what

when I thought you had

here for you if you need

don’t know if I can trust them yet.

I reply

I just don’t know. What if she’s just

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+15 BONUS

afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice

Rowan.

anything like that towards them. I was just

pieces of my heart.

girl” Carol says walking towards my

I groan under my

junior highschool teacher and she had a way of

to stick her

food” she looks at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been

preggo” she finishes

know she was joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her

through every fiber of

my behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know that I was

right?”

ran through the hallway till I am out of

of the parking lot.

be happening. Please don’t let

the math, but my mind is so

be pulled for over speeding. I needed to confirm

Carol was wrong.

car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I