Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

that question or think too deeply about it, the bell rings Taking my

class without saying a single word to my

head down as I rush to the teacher’s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next class

to anyone

up. I was expecting it

release a groan as I walk to the furthest

down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls

Especially given their relationship with Ethan

accept button instead

Ava?” she

release

my dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and

catching at the

don’t say anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses

fucking word.

and I want to be in your life. I want

know you’re hurting and I want to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t

breaks my heart.

Damn it. I’ve been so

need time” I tell her slowly. Trying to

“I’ll give you time if that’s what

carried you in my heart even when I thought you had died. I hope

that I’ll always be here for you if you need me”

but I don’t know if I can trust

reply before hanging

but I just don’t know. What if she’s just looking for someone to

2/4

+15 BONUS

I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice just

Rowan.

anything like that towards them. I

pieces of my heart.

girl” Carol says walking towards

groan

she had a way

to stick her

looks at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating and how

one would think you’re preggo” she finishes

I freeze in my seat. Her words ring in my mind like a broken

through every

and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava?

right?”

blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately jump into my

of the parking lot.

be happening. Please don’t let it be

try to think back. Try to do the math, but my mind is so

fast, not caring that I will probably be pulled for

Carol was wrong.

the store, I park my car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I bump