Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

think too deeply about it, the bell rings Taking my things,

without saying a single word to my

to the teacher’s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next

to anyone

the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it to be at least somewhat

a groan as I walk to

name

given their relationship with Ethan

accept button instead

Ava?” she

don’t say anything. Just release the breath I was

Don’t shut

at

anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses

fucking word.

my daughter, Ava and I want to be in your life. I want to be the mother

I want to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after finding you would kill me” she pleads, crying and

breaks my heart.

it. I’ve been so emotional

slowly. Trying to push

give you time if that’s what

carried you in my heart even when I thought you had died. I

be here for you if you

good to be wanted, but I don’t know if I can

I reply

know. What if she’s

2/4

+15 BONUS

gap. That’s what I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second

Rowan.

being cold or anything like that towards them. I was just

pieces of my heart.

says walking towards

groan under my

had a way of annoying the hell out of

stick her nose in

at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating and how moody you

think you’re preggo” she finishes with

seat. Her words ring

every fiber

behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know that I

right?”

I blindly ran through the hallway till I am

of the parking lot.

be happening. Please don’t let it be

the math, but my mind is so jumbled that I cannot

caring that I will probably be pulled for over speeding. I needed to confirm

Carol was wrong.

store, I park my car and rush