Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

I can answer that question or think too deeply about it,

my class without saying a single

I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one stops me

to anyone

to the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it to be at least somewhat empty,

damn packed. I release a groan as I walk to

just as I sit down. Nora’s name

them. Especially given their relationship with Ethan

accept button instead

Ava?” she

Just release

don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and your father out” she whispers

catching at

I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses to move. To utter a

fucking word.

my daughter, Ava and I want to be in your life. I want to be the mother I

I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after finding

breaks my heart.

I’ve been so

I tell her slowly. Trying to push

you time if that’s

carried you in my heart even when I thought you had

know that I’ll always be here for you if you need me”

wanted, but I don’t know

I reply

just don’t know. What if she’s just looking for

2/4

+15 BONUS

That’s what I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice

Rowan.

cold or anything like that towards them. I was just trying to

pieces of my heart.

says walking towards my

groan under my

highschool teacher and she had a way of annoying the hell out of people.

to stick her nose in

looks at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating and

one would think you’re preggo” she finishes with

but I freeze in my seat. Her words ring in my

fear through every fiber of

notices my behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to

right?”

blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately jump into my car and

of the parking lot.

couldn’t be happening. Please don’t let it

Try to do the math, but my mind is so jumbled that I cannot think

will probably be pulled for over speeding. I needed to

Carol was wrong.

to the store, I park my car and rush out.