Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

too deeply about it,

out of my class without saying a single word

breathe a little before I have to go to

to anyone

was expecting it to

packed. I release a groan as

I sit down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their

their relationship with Ethan I go to hang up,

accept button instead

she calls

Just release the breath

please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and your

catching at the

I couldn’t even if I wanted to.

fucking word.

daughter, Ava and I want to be in your life. I want to

I know you’re hurting and I want to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after finding you would kill

breaks my heart.

eyes. Damn it. I’ve been so emotional these

her slowly. Trying

time if that’s what you

I’ve always carried you in my heart even when I thought

know that I’ll always be here

so good to be wanted, but I don’t know if I can trust them yet. Only time will

I reply

she’s saying, but I just don’t know. What if she’s just looking for

2/4

+15 BONUS

of. Of being used. Of being a second choice

Rowan.

cold or anything like that towards them. I

pieces of my heart.

Carol says walking

groan

highschool teacher and she had a way

her nose in other people’s

that food” she looks at me in shock. “With the

one would think you’re preggo”

was joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her words ring

every fiber of my

behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava?

right?”

the lounge, I blindly ran through

of the parking lot.

happening. Please don’t let it be

the math, but my mind

fast, not caring that I will probably be pulled for over speeding. I needed to confirm

Carol was wrong.

to the store, I park my car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I bump into