Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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+15 BONUS

question or think too deeply about it,

of my class without saying a single word to

a little before I have to go

to anyone

I was expecting it to be at least somewhat empty, but

groan as I walk to the

just as I sit down. Nora’s name

handle them. Especially given their relationship with Ethan I go to

accept button instead

Ava?” she calls

Just release the

shut me out. Don’t shut me

catching at the

I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses to move. To

fucking word.

and I want to be in your life. I

lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after finding you would kill me” she pleads,

breaks my heart.

Damn it. I’ve been so

her slowly. Trying to push

give you time if that’s what you need, but

in my heart even when I thought you had died. I hope

and know that I’ll always be here for you if you

good to be wanted, but I don’t know if I

reply

but I just don’t know. What if

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+15 BONUS

gap. That’s what I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice just like I was

Rowan.

like that towards them.

pieces of my heart.

Carol says walking towards my

I groan under my

and she had a way

to stick her nose in other

in shock. “With the way

think you’re preggo” she finishes

she was joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her words ring in my mind

fear through every fiber

my behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You

right?”

up as panic starts coursing through my body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately jump into my

of the parking lot.

couldn’t be happening. Please don’t let it

but my

not caring that I will probably be pulled for over

Carol was wrong.

to the store, I park my car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I bump into