Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

or think too deeply about it, the bell rings

out of my class without saying a single word to my

to the teacher’s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next

to anyone

teacher lounge and freeze up. I was expecting

groan as I walk to the furthest

phone rings just as I sit down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls not really sure

them. Especially given their relationship with Ethan

accept button instead

she calls

Just release the breath I was

dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t

catching at the

anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.

fucking word.

in your

hurting and I want to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after finding you would kill me” she

breaks my heart.

my eyes. Damn it. I’ve been so emotional these

tell her slowly. Trying to

a breath. “I’ll give you time if that’s what you need, but always remember

even when I thought you had died. I hope

here for you if you need

feels so good to be wanted, but I don’t know if I can trust

reply before

don’t know. What if she’s just looking for someone to hang

2/4

+15 BONUS

That’s what I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second

Rowan.

being cold or anything like that towards them. I was just trying

pieces of my heart.

Carol says walking towards

I groan under

had a way of

to stick her

me in shock. “With the way

preggo” she finishes

but I freeze in my seat. Her words ring in

through every

Ava? You have to know that I was just

right?”

coursing through my body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the

of the parking lot.

happening. Please

to think back. Try to do the math, but my mind is so jumbled that I

will probably be pulled for over speeding.

Carol was wrong.

the store, I park my car and rush out. Unluckily for me,