Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

answer that question or think too deeply about it, the bell rings Taking my

of my class without saying a single word to

I rush to the teacher’s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one stops me in the hallway. I wasn’t really in the mood to

to anyone

get to the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it

packed. I release a groan

sit down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls not really sure

relationship with Ethan I go to hang up, but I

accept button instead

Ava?” she

say anything. Just release the

please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut

catching at the

I wanted to. My mouth refuses to

fucking word.

I want to be in your life. I want to

and I want to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you

breaks my heart.

I’ve been so emotional these

her slowly. Trying

a breath. “I’ll give you time if that’s what you need, but always

always carried you in my heart even when I thought you had

and know that I’ll always be here for you

don’t know if I can trust them yet.

I reply before hanging

I just don’t know. What if she’s

2/4

+15 BONUS

Of being used. Of

Rowan.

like that towards them. I was just trying to protect

pieces of my heart.

girl” Carol says

groan

junior highschool teacher and she had a

to stick her nose in other

“With the

preggo” she finishes

joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her words

through every fiber of

frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to

right?”

I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately jump into

of the parking lot.

Please don’t

math, but my mind is so jumbled that

drive fast, not caring that I will probably be pulled

Carol was wrong.

the store, I park my car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I