Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

I can answer that question or think too deeply about

without saying

I have to go to my next class

to anyone

the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was

I release a groan

as I sit down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls not really

their relationship with Ethan

accept button instead

she calls

don’t say anything. Just release the breath I

me out. Don’t shut me and your father out”

catching at the

say anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses to

fucking word.

to be in your

I know you’re hurting and I want to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after

breaks my heart.

Damn it. I’ve been so emotional

tell her slowly. Trying to push

time if that’s what you need, but always remember that I

carried you in my heart even when I thought you had died. I hope you can

be here for you if you need

wanted, but I don’t know if I can trust them yet. Only

I reply

what she’s saying, but I just don’t know. What

2/4

+15 BONUS

gap. That’s what I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice just like I

Rowan.

being cold or anything like that towards them. I was just trying to protect the

pieces of my heart.

says walking towards

I groan

highschool teacher and she had a way of annoying the hell out of

likes to stick her nose in

food” she looks at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating and how moody

preggo” she finishes

but I freeze in my seat. Her words ring in

through every

and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know that I was just

right?”

up as panic starts coursing through my body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the

of the parking lot.

Please don’t

the math, but my mind is so jumbled that I cannot

be pulled for over speeding.

Carol was wrong.

the store, I park my car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I bump into