Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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+15 BONUS

too deeply about it,

class without saying a single word

down as I rush to the teacher’s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my

to anyone

up. I was

groan

name flashes. I’ve

handle them. Especially given their relationship with Ethan I go to hang up, but I press

accept button instead

she calls

say anything. Just release the breath I was

dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and your father out” she

at

I couldn’t even if I wanted to.

fucking word.

be in your life. I want to be the mother I was

I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing

breaks my heart.

my eyes. Damn it. I’ve been so emotional

need time” I tell her slowly.

releases a breath. “I’ll give you time if that’s what you need, but always remember

in my heart even when I thought

know that I’ll always be here for you if

be wanted, but I don’t know if I can trust them yet. Only time

reply before hanging

just don’t know. What if she’s

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+15 BONUS

gap. That’s what I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice

Rowan.

towards them. I was just trying

pieces of my heart.

says walking towards my

I groan under my

and she had a way of annoying

likes to stick her nose in

at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating

you’re preggo” she finishes with a laugh.

seat.

fear through every fiber of

notices my behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know that

right?”

blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately jump into my car

of the parking lot.

Please don’t let it

do the math, but my mind is so jumbled that I cannot think

not caring that I will probably be pulled for over speeding.

Carol was wrong.

my car and rush