Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 59

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

think too deeply about it, the bell rings Taking

saying a single word to my

want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one stops me in the hallway. I

to anyone

up. I was

damn packed. I release a groan as I walk to the

down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls not

Ethan

accept button instead

Ava?” she

don’t say anything. Just release the breath

me out. Don’t shut

catching at the

couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth

fucking word.

I want to be in your life. I want to

be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after finding you would kill me” she

breaks my heart.

I’ve been so

I tell her slowly. Trying to push back

you time if that’s what

even when I thought you had died. I

that I’ll always be here for you

It feels so good to be wanted, but I don’t know if

reply before

know. What if she’s just looking for someone

2/4

+15 BONUS

what I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice just like

Rowan.

wasn’t being cold or anything like that towards them. I was just trying to

pieces of my heart.

Carol says

I groan under

a junior highschool teacher and she had a

stick her nose in other

me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating and how

think you’re preggo” she finishes

in my seat. Her words ring

fear through every

behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to

right?”

out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out

of the parking lot.

Please don’t let

back. Try to do the math, but

caring that I will probably be pulled for over speeding. I needed to

Carol was wrong.

the store, I park my car and

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