Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

answer that question or think too deeply about it, the bell rings Taking my things,

of my class without saying a single word to my

lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no

to anyone

and freeze up. I was expecting it to be at

I release a groan as I walk to

name flashes. I’ve ignored their

Especially given their relationship with Ethan

accept button instead

she calls

say anything. Just release the

my dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and your father

catching at

wanted to. My mouth refuses to

fucking word.

your life. I want to be the mother I was supposed

for you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just

breaks my heart.

fill my eyes. Damn it. I’ve been so

time” I tell her slowly. Trying to

a breath. “I’ll give you time if that’s what you need, but always

in my heart even when I thought you had died. I hope you

that I’ll always be here for you if you

feels so good to be wanted, but I don’t know if

I reply before

but I just don’t know. What if she’s

2/4

+15 BONUS

Of being used. Of being a second choice just like I

Rowan.

towards them. I was just trying

pieces of my heart.

says walking

I groan under

junior highschool teacher and she had a way of annoying the hell

to stick her nose in other people’s

me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating and how moody

one would think you’re preggo” she finishes

freeze in my seat. Her words ring in my mind

fear through every fiber of

behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know that I was

right?”

ran through the

of the parking lot.

be happening. Please don’t let it be happening.

math, but my mind

fast, not caring that I will probably be pulled for over speeding. I needed

Carol was wrong.

the store, I park my car and rush