Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

that question or think too deeply about

out of my class without saying a

down as I rush to the teacher’s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next

to anyone

the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it to be at least

release a groan as I walk

phone rings just as I sit down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their

Ethan I go to hang up, but I

accept button instead

she calls

say anything. Just release the breath I

me out. Don’t shut me and your father out” she

at the

couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses to move. To utter

fucking word.

Ava and I want to be in your

to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after finding you would kill

breaks my heart.

eyes. Damn it. I’ve been so emotional these

I tell her slowly. Trying

a breath. “I’ll give you time if that’s what you need,

heart even when I thought you had died. I hope you can

that I’ll always be here for you if you need me”

feels so good to be wanted, but I don’t know if I

I reply before

know. What if she’s just looking for

2/4

+15 BONUS

I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice just like I

Rowan.

that towards

pieces of my heart.

says walking

groan under my

she had a way of annoying the hell out of people.

to stick her

looks at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating

one would think you’re preggo” she

she was joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her words

through every fiber

behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know that I was just

right?”

starts coursing through my body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I

of the parking lot.

happening. Please don’t let it be

do the math, but my mind is so jumbled that I cannot

will probably be

Carol was wrong.

and rush out. Unluckily for me, I bump into