A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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+15 BONUS

think too deeply about

my class without saying a single word

to breathe a little before I have

to anyone

was expecting it to be at least somewhat empty, but

a groan as I walk to the furthest

down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their

with Ethan I go to hang up, but I

accept button instead

she

don’t say anything. Just release the breath

me out. Don’t shut me and your father out”

at

I wanted to. My

fucking word.

and I want to be in your life. I

I know you’re hurting and I want to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose

breaks my heart.

I’ve been so emotional these past few

I tell her slowly. Trying

if that’s what you need, but

you in my heart even when I thought you had died. I hope you

always be here for

don’t know if I can trust them yet. Only time

reply before hanging

saying, but I just don’t know. What

2/4

+15 BONUS

That’s what I’m afraid of. Of being used.

Rowan.

that towards them. I was just trying to

pieces of my heart.

girl” Carol says

groan under

and she had a way of annoying the

stick her nose

at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating

you’re preggo”

know she was joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her words ring in my mind like a broken

every fiber of

you okay, Ava? You have to know that I was

right?”

up as panic starts coursing through my body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately jump into my car and

of the parking lot.

happening. Please don’t let

to do the math, but my mind is so jumbled that

that I will probably be pulled

Carol was wrong.

car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I bump into

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