Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

that question or think too deeply about

of my class without saying a single word

breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one stops me in the hallway. I wasn’t really in

to anyone

freeze up. I was expecting it

packed. I release a groan as

rings just as I sit down. Nora’s name flashes.

relationship with Ethan I go to hang up, but I press

accept button instead

Ava?” she

say anything. Just release the breath I was

out. Don’t shut me and your father

at the

don’t say anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses to move. To utter a

fucking word.

your life. I want to be the mother I was

for you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after

breaks my heart.

fill my eyes. Damn it. I’ve been so emotional these

tell her slowly. Trying to push back my

you time if that’s what you need,

carried you in my heart even when

always be here for you if you need me”

It feels so good to be wanted, but I don’t know if I can trust them yet.

reply

I just don’t know. What if she’s just looking

2/4

+15 BONUS

afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice

Rowan.

being cold or anything like that towards them. I was just trying to

pieces of my heart.

Carol says walking

groan

highschool teacher and she had a way of annoying

stick her nose

“With the way you’ve been

would think you’re preggo” she finishes with a laugh.

she was joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her words

through every fiber of

frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know

right?”

ran through the hallway till I am out

of the parking lot.

happening. Please don’t

but

drive fast, not caring that I will probably be pulled for over speeding. I needed to confirm

Carol was wrong.

car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I bump into