Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

or think too deeply about it, the bell

of my class without saying a single word to

little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one stops me in the hallway. I wasn’t really in the mood to

to anyone

the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it to be at least

damn packed. I release a groan as

name flashes.

Especially given their relationship with Ethan I go to hang up, but I press

accept button instead

she calls

anything. Just release the breath

dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me

at the

if I wanted to.

fucking word.

I want to be in your life. I want to be the mother I

I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after finding you would kill

breaks my heart.

it. I’ve been so emotional these past

I tell her slowly. Trying to push back my

releases a breath. “I’ll give you time if that’s what you need, but always remember that I

even when I

and know that I’ll always be here for you if you need

feels so good to be wanted, but I don’t know if I can trust them yet. Only time

I reply

just don’t know. What if she’s just looking for someone to

2/4

+15 BONUS

I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being

Rowan.

that towards them. I was just

pieces of my heart.

says walking towards

groan

junior highschool teacher and she had a way of annoying the hell out

likes to stick her nose in other people’s

at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating

you’re preggo” she finishes

was joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her words ring in my

fear through every fiber

Ava?

right?”

coursing through my body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately jump into my car and speed

of the parking lot.

happening. Please don’t let it be happening.

math, but my mind is so jumbled that I cannot think

fast, not caring that I will probably be pulled for over speeding.

Carol was wrong.

I park my car and rush out.