Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

or think too deeply about it, the bell rings Taking

out of my class without saying a single word to my

just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one stops me in the hallway. I wasn’t really in the mood

to anyone

the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it to be at least somewhat

damn packed. I release a groan as

phone rings just as I sit down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored

their relationship with Ethan I go to hang up, but I

accept button instead

she calls

don’t say anything. Just release the breath

my dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and your

catching at the

say anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses

fucking word.

your life. I want to be the mother I

know you’re hurting and I want to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after finding you would kill me” she pleads, crying

breaks my heart.

my eyes. Damn it. I’ve been so emotional these past

slowly.

you time if that’s what you need, but always

even when I

know that I’ll always be here for you if you

I don’t

reply before hanging

know. What if she’s just looking for someone to

2/4

+15 BONUS

That’s what I’m afraid of. Of being used.

Rowan.

cold or anything like that towards them. I was

pieces of my heart.

Carol says walking towards

I groan under

teacher and she had a way

to stick her nose in

looks at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating and how

preggo” she finishes with

freeze in my seat. Her words ring

fear through every

frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know

right?”

body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through

of the parking lot.

This couldn’t be happening. Please don’t let it

try to think back. Try to do the math, but my mind is so jumbled

that I will probably be pulled

Carol was wrong.

to the store, I park my car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I