Ex-Husband's Regret

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

think too deeply about it, the bell rings Taking

of my class without saying a single

a little before I have to

to anyone

teacher lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it to be at least somewhat empty, but

packed. I release a groan

down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls not

them. Especially given their relationship with Ethan I go to hang up, but

accept button instead

she

say anything. Just release the breath

don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me

catching at the

even if I wanted

fucking word.

to be in your life. I want to be the

hurting and I want to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t

breaks my heart.

it. I’ve

time” I tell her slowly.

“I’ll give you time if that’s what you need, but always remember that I

even when I thought you had died. I hope you

and know that I’ll always be here for you if you need me”

be wanted, but I don’t know if

reply

saying, but I just don’t know. What

2/4

+15 BONUS

afraid of. Of being used.

Rowan.

being cold or anything like that towards them. I

pieces of my heart.

says walking towards my

groan under my

highschool teacher and she had a way of annoying the

she likes to stick her nose in

that food” she looks at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating and how moody you

would think you’re preggo” she finishes with a laugh.

but I freeze in my seat. Her words ring in my mind

through every fiber of my

notices my behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to

right?”

ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately jump into my car and

of the parking lot.

Please

do the math, but my mind is so

fast, not caring that I will probably be pulled for over speeding. I

Carol was wrong.

to the store, I park my car and rush