Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 59

A surprise
It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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+15 BONUS

too deeply

my class without saying a single word

want to breathe a little before I have to

to anyone

lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it to be at least

groan as I walk to the furthest

down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve

Ethan I go to hang up,

accept button instead

she

anything. Just release the

shut me out. Don’t shut me and your father out”

catching at

don’t say anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses to move. To utter

fucking word.

I want to be in your life. I want to be

I already lost one child, please don’t makeme lose another. Losing you again just after finding

breaks my heart.

I’ve been

I tell her slowly. Trying to push back

give you time if that’s what you need,

in my heart even when

that I’ll always be here for

be wanted, but I don’t know if I can

reply before

what she’s saying, but I just don’t know. What if she’s just looking

2/4

+15 BONUS

of. Of being used. Of being a second choice just

Rowan.

that towards them.

pieces of my heart.

says

I groan

and she had a way of annoying

she likes to stick her nose in other

in shock. “With the way

you’re preggo” she

my seat. Her words ring in my mind like

through every fiber of

you okay, Ava? You have to know that I was just

right?”

blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the

of the parking lot.

happening. Please

to do the math, but my

drive fast, not caring that I will probably be pulled for over speeding. I needed

Carol was wrong.

park my car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I

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