“What are you doing here?” I ask through my sobs.

He comes and kneels before me, his eyes staring at me with an emotion I can’t figure out.

“Emma told me she saw you at the store. She said you looked hysterical and that you bought a bunch of pregnancy tests before leaving” he tells me softly, his fingers wiping away my tears.

Damn it Emma and her big mouth! What the hell did she think she’ll accomplish by telling Rowan that I bought pregnancy tests?

“She shouldn’t have told you. It’s none of her business neither is it yours” I hiss.

He doesn’t react instead he asks. “Have you taken the test?”

I just nod my head as more tears fill my eyes.

“And?”

I don’t answer him. I just couldn’t bring myself to admit what the test informed me.

When I don’t answer he surveys the room. His eyes land on them laying near the sink. He stands up and goes to check them. I should be fucking angry that he was violating my privacy, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Not when I had much more important things to worry about.

He comes back and this time instead of kneeling before me. He instead sits next to me.

“Congratulation. You’re going to be a great mother” he tell me an odd catch in his voice.

I lay my head on his shoulder as I speak. “Am I? You didn’t ever want to have another baby with me even though I wanted one desperately. I thought it’s because you thought I was a bad mother”

I was always so insecure when it came to Rowan. I knew the real reason. He didn’t want another baby because he was holding out hope that Emma will come back. I lied to myself because it was better to think he thought I wasn’t a good mother than to acknowledge that he just didn’t want a

baby with me.

“I’ve never thought you’re a bad mother, Ava. You’re the fucking best. One just has to look at the relationship between you and Noah to know it’s true” he pauses. “Can I tell you something?”

I nod my head.

“I was always jealous of the bond you have with Noah. I still am” he confesses. I lift my head in

shock.

2

“Really”

+15 BONUS

I still can’t believe that Rowan was right now sitting on the bathroom floor with me. The Rowan i

know wouldn’t have cared at all, let alone wipe away my tears.

“Yeah” he answers

We stay in silence after that. I soon start feeling drowsy. I don’t know when I slept or how he carried me to my bed. The last thing I felt before falling into deep sleep, was his lips on my

forehead.

When I wake up, it’s midafternoon the next day. I find breakfast on my side table. Which was

probably cold.

I get out of bed and make an appointment with my gynecologist. I take a quick shower then get

felt tired and worn

hungry so I ignore the food. I didn’t know who brought it, but my guess is

Rowan.

the doctor’s office. I get there

the private clinic.

husbands. It takes me back

of my appointments. I was

birth, given he showed little care for me

was expecting.

take a seat,

called.

called

up and walk to Dr.

do for you this fine afternoon?”

ultrasound. I took a pregnancy test yesterday and they were

just wanted a confirmation”

Completely nervous and

316

+15 BONUS

you lay on the bed, while I set up

nod

up on the bed and stare at the ceiling. I tried calming my beating heart,

pull up your

She squirts the gel on my

wand around.

three months along.” she says

beating heart fills

grip the hem of my top. She sounded happy as she delivered

but I wasn’t.

that is a blur. She cleans me up and gives me instructions. Talking

leave her office and pass by her

for me the images

I leave like the hell hounds of hell

I drove. I had held hope. Hope that the tests were false. It’s know to happen

I was hoping that it will be the same for

am. Driving, with the real proof that I was expecting Ethan’s baby laying

backseat.

drive for a while not sure where I am, until I finally park. I get out and robotically

the cliff.

be happy about this baby? I didn’t want him or her. I didn’t want a

man that tried

not feel any type of

don’t. He or she will be a reminder of how his or

betrayed me.

to do was to take a step forward.

heartache. I would be free

drowning me.

4/6

+15 BONUS

don’t turn. I still don’t

think you’re doing, Ava?” Rowan’s voice

its force. As if it

step

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