Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 60

“What are you doing here?” I ask through my sobs.

He comes and kneels before me, his eyes staring at me with an emotion I can’t figure out.

“Emma told me she saw you at the store. She said you looked hysterical and that you bought a bunch of pregnancy tests before leaving” he tells me softly, his fingers wiping away my tears.

Damn it Emma and her big mouth! What the hell did she think she’ll accomplish by telling Rowan that I bought pregnancy tests?

“She shouldn’t have told you. It’s none of her business neither is it yours” I hiss.

He doesn’t react instead he asks. “Have you taken the test?”

I just nod my head as more tears fill my eyes.

“And?”

I don’t answer him. I just couldn’t bring myself to admit what the test informed me.

When I don’t answer he surveys the room. His eyes land on them laying near the sink. He stands up and goes to check them. I should be fucking angry that he was violating my privacy, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Not when I had much more important things to worry about.

He comes back and this time instead of kneeling before me. He instead sits next to me.

“Congratulation. You’re going to be a great mother” he tell me an odd catch in his voice.

I lay my head on his shoulder as I speak. “Am I? You didn’t ever want to have another baby with me even though I wanted one desperately. I thought it’s because you thought I was a bad mother”

I was always so insecure when it came to Rowan. I knew the real reason. He didn’t want another baby because he was holding out hope that Emma will come back. I lied to myself because it was better to think he thought I wasn’t a good mother than to acknowledge that he just didn’t want a

baby with me.

“I’ve never thought you’re a bad mother, Ava. You’re the fucking best. One just has to look at the relationship between you and Noah to know it’s true” he pauses. “Can I tell you something?”

I nod my head.

“I was always jealous of the bond you have with Noah. I still am” he confesses. I lift my head in

shock.

2

“Really”

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I still can’t believe that Rowan was right now sitting on the bathroom floor with me. The Rowan i

know wouldn’t have cared at all, let alone wipe away my tears.

“Yeah” he answers

We stay in silence after that. I soon start feeling drowsy. I don’t know when I slept or how he carried me to my bed. The last thing I felt before falling into deep sleep, was his lips on my

forehead.

When I wake up, it’s midafternoon the next day. I find breakfast on my side table. Which was

probably cold.

I get out of bed and make an appointment with my gynecologist. I take a quick shower then get

felt tired

food. I didn’t know who brought it, but my

Rowan.

the doctor’s office. I get there after almost an hour

the private clinic.

It takes me back to

to any of my appointments. I was

me in the room when I was giving birth, given he showed

was expecting.

the secretary my details and take a seat, while I wait for

called.

called after

up and walk to Dr. Raven’s

I do for you

a pregnancy test yesterday and they

just wanted a confirmation”

my hands. Completely nervous and nearing a

316

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on the bed, while I set up things?” she

nod

and stare at the ceiling. I

up your

my hands shaking. She squirts the gel on my stomach

wand around.

three months along.” she says happily just as the sound of

heart fills

back the tears and grip the hem of my top. She sounded happy as she

but I wasn’t.

that is a blur. She cleans me up and gives me instructions.

vitamins. I leave her office and pass by her secretary’s desk. She gives me a

prints for me the images of the

the hell hounds of

Hope that the tests were false.

I was hoping that it will be

the real proof that I was expecting Ethan’s baby laying

backseat.

drive for a while not sure where I am, until

the cliff.

happy about this baby? I didn’t want him or her. I didn’t want a

with the same man that tried his hardest to

I look at him or her and not feel any type of resentment? I wanted to forget

baby will make sure I don’t. He or she will be a

betrayed me.

to take a step forward. Just one step and everything will

sadness or heartache. I would be free of the constant

drowning me.

4/6

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I don’t turn. I still don’t turn when a

hell do you think you’re doing,

don’t tur“, even as the wind picks up I feel its force. As if it was also

step

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