62 Noah’s back
Ava
+15 BONUS
I’m cleaning the house. A thorough cleaning just to keep my mind off things. I’m still coming to
terms with the fact that I’m pregnant.
When Rowan rejected the idea of us having another baby. I all but gave up on giving Noah a
sibling. Now I have another baby on the way and I didn’t know how to feel.
My phone rings and I pick it up. Normally I would have refused to pick up, but not today. Pushing
those close to me away wasn’t doing me any good..
“Hi Letty” I murmur while sitting down.
I’ve been so tired of late. I should have known that there was something more to it.
“Oh my God. You picked up. I thought you wouldn’t” she screams through the phone before
sniffing. “I missed hearing your voice. It’s been weeks”
م
“I’m sorry.” I release a breath. “I just didn’t know how to handle everything so I pushed you away”
I’ve never been good at communicating my feelings. I’ve never been good at even acknowledging
them. When I’m stressed or over emotional, I shut down. I try to bury them so that I can function
properly. Pushing my emotions down is usually better than acknowledging them. Now I know
that isn’t healthy at all.
“Are you okay now?”
“Not all the way, but I will be” I assure her.
I don’t know how I plan to do that, but I was going to come out of this stronger.
I still can’t believe that I thought of killing myself and my own child. I may not know how to feel,
but this baby was my blood. Just like Noah is. I plan to be a good mother. I plan to be the best
mother to him or her.
I shake those thoughts away. I don’t want to think of how low I had hit. I don’t want to think of
what I almost did.
“I’m pregnant” I whisper, when she doesn’t say anything after a while.
1/5
+15 BONUS
What? She shrieks in surprise “When did you find out?”
“About a week ago
Noah, this baby is unexpected and unplanned. That
I always wanted another child. I may not like his or
Laush
as the surprises fades
the news. I thought you wouldn’t, given who the
a blessing, and this baby is who you need to pull
is your saving grace. He or she
takes a deep
could see it. I believe this baby has done
else has managed to do. Pulling you
said and it’s true. It’s because
willing to get the
trying Letty. Even when I kept pushing you away, you
me” I
makes me emotional
like the sister I never had. Of
know you would
away from serious conversations. By the
an
how much I had missed
more like myself, now. I
time I am
front door open.
dare enter my house without knocking
when I hear
2/5
+15 BONUS
Mommy I am
face and I stand up. I rush out of the living
through the entry way.
“Noah!”
with mine. I hug him close to me as
had
his face, I hold him
he giggle, but he doesn’t
missed you so much! How are you here right now?” I ask him as I
don’t let him go.
on the floor, but I didn’t care. I was just so fucking happy
needed me. It was supposed to be a surprise, that’s why
when we
that I realize
see an emotion in his eyes, but I just can’t figure out what
“Hi” I say softly.
to check up on. He has been supportive and
from the Rowan I was used
react to this version of
a therapist who I began seeing three days ago. Every time he
his
he
I was making steps to get better
at him. “Is
glare at Rowan who looks at me sheepishly
tell him in
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
The Novel will be updated daily. Come back and continue reading tomorrow, everyone!