Ex-Husband's Regret

Calvin.

"What the fuck are you doing at my house, Emma" I say through gritted teeth.

Gunner and I were busy repainting his room, before the doorbell rang. The last thing I wanted was for him to hear me shouting and come down only to see this bitch.

I glare at her as I feel my anger rise within me. My fists are clenched, and my jaw is clamped tightly in an effort to stop me from blowing up.

"I-I" she doesn't finish the sentence, and it just pisses me off even more.

Fuck this! I get out of the house and close the door behind me. I needed to get rid of her.

"I asked you a fucking question, Emma!" I snap, gripping the door handle like a vise, just to center myself.

After all the shit she's put me and Gunner through, she now has the audacity to show up on my doorstep?

The pain and heartache of over almost a decade. Did she really think that I would easily forget it? That I'd put it behind me and pretend like she didn't reap my heart out over and over again. Pretend that she didn't put my soul through a fucking mincer and shredded me to pieces?

It fucking hurts. It still fucking hurts even now. The pain is constantly there. The scars aren't fucking healed and I doubt they'll ever will.

"Please, I just want to see him. I want to see Gunner?" she pleads, tears filling her eyes, but seeing them does nothing.

feel nothing as I stare at her ashen and sad face. I feel nothing at seeing the pain and guilt in her eyes. She doesn't try to hide her emotions but they still don't move me. I swore to myself that I'd never allow myself to be used and manipulated

one that was insistent on not having anything to do with him years ago, why the change

start trembling and her face

"He's my son"

are nothing but an egg donor. It's unfortunate that Gunner had to have you as a mother to be honest. If you want to see the true

and

what did it get you? Always feeling like you're better than her, but in real sense you aren't even fucking close. You were a nasty bitch to her and look at her

her, so I knew this would destroy her. Call me cruel, but seeing her in pain eases something inside me. After the shit

isn't wholly to blame. I take some of the blame because I

her. I loved her. She was my soul, yet she never felt anything for me. I stayed with her and tolerated her treatment because I'd hoped that one day she'd come to love me. That she'd see just how good we were together and that she didn't need Rowan's love. Not when

over again she proved just how selfish and self-centered she was. She cared about nobody but herself and that stupid love she held on to for

love turned sour. I hated her. Loathed her with everything that I am. At Right though. When my son is asleep and I'm lying alone in my huge bed, I allow myself

I gave her the power to treat me as she

pulls me back to

She's lost weight and some color. She is nothing like the woman I remembered. Her light was gone, and she looked like a shadow of

what you lost now that the man you've held on

to make amends, please

It's too late for your