Ex-Husband's Regret

Calvin.

"What the fuck are you doing at my house, Emma" I say through gritted teeth.

Gunner and I were busy repainting his room, before the doorbell rang. The last thing I wanted was for him to hear me shouting and come down only to see this bitch.

I glare at her as I feel my anger rise within me. My fists are clenched, and my jaw is clamped tightly in an effort to stop me from blowing up.

"I-I" she doesn't finish the sentence, and it just pisses me off even more.

Fuck this! I get out of the house and close the door behind me. I needed to get rid of her.

"I asked you a fucking question, Emma!" I snap, gripping the door handle like a vise, just to center myself.

After all the shit she's put me and Gunner through, she now has the audacity to show up on my doorstep?

The pain and heartache of over almost a decade. Did she really think that I would easily forget it? That I'd put it behind me and pretend like she didn't reap my heart out over and over again. Pretend that she didn't put my soul through a fucking mincer and shredded me to pieces?

It fucking hurts. It still fucking hurts even now. The pain is constantly there. The scars aren't fucking healed and I doubt they'll ever will.

"Please, I just want to see him. I want to see Gunner?" she pleads, tears filling her eyes, but seeing them does nothing.

feel nothing at seeing the pain and guilt in her eyes. She doesn't try to hide her emotions but they still don't move me. I swore to myself

scoff, folding my arms across my chest. "Weren't you the one that

trembling and her face twists as if she

"He's my son"

have you as a mother to be honest. If you want to see the true meaning of being a mom, then look at Ava. She's a fucking mother, and you're nothing

eyes and

but in real sense you

her. They were meant to destroy her and bring her to her knees. She's always hated Ava. Always hated being compared to her, so I knew this would destroy her. Call me cruel, but seeing her in pain eases something inside me. After the

hide my self-loathing. She isn't wholly to blame. I take some

I loved her. She was my soul, yet she never felt anything for me. I stayed with her and tolerated her treatment because I'd hoped that one day she'd come to love me. That she'd see just how good we were together and that she didn't need Rowan's love.

though. Over and over again she proved just how selfish and self-centered she was. She cared about nobody but herself and that stupid love she held on to for a man

Loathed her with everything that I am. At Right though. When my son is asleep and I'm lying alone in my huge bed,

gave her the power to treat me as

pulls me back to

weight and some color. She is nothing like the woman I

away when she tries to touch me. "You think you can regain what you lost now that the man you've held on to for so long doesn't want you? You have to be fucking

make amends, please let

It's too late for your fucking apologies"