Ex-Husband's Regret

Calvin.

"What the fuck are you doing at my house, Emma" I say through gritted teeth.

Gunner and I were busy repainting his room, before the doorbell rang. The last thing I wanted was for him to hear me shouting and come down only to see this bitch.

I glare at her as I feel my anger rise within me. My fists are clenched, and my jaw is clamped tightly in an effort to stop me from blowing up.

"I-I" she doesn't finish the sentence, and it just pisses me off even more.

Fuck this! I get out of the house and close the door behind me. I needed to get rid of her.

"I asked you a fucking question, Emma!" I snap, gripping the door handle like a vise, just to center myself.

After all the shit she's put me and Gunner through, she now has the audacity to show up on my doorstep?

The pain and heartache of over almost a decade. Did she really think that I would easily forget it? That I'd put it behind me and pretend like she didn't reap my heart out over and over again. Pretend that she didn't put my soul through a fucking mincer and shredded me to pieces?

It fucking hurts. It still fucking hurts even now. The pain is constantly there. The scars aren't fucking healed and I doubt they'll ever will.

"Please, I just want to see him. I want to see Gunner?" she pleads, tears filling her eyes, but seeing them does nothing.

stare at her ashen and sad face. I feel nothing at seeing the pain and guilt in her eyes. She doesn't try to hide her emotions but they still don't move me. I swore to myself that I'd never allow myself to be used and manipulated by

you the one that was insistent on not having anything to do with him years ago, why

her face twists as if she was in physical

"He's my son"

ask. "You are nothing but an egg donor. It's unfortunate that Gunner had to have you as a mother to be honest. If you want to see the true meaning of being a mom,

eyes and she stumbles back as if

you're better than her, but in real sense you aren't even fucking close. You were a

to her, so I knew this

my self-loathing. She isn't wholly to blame. I take some

loved her. She was my soul, yet she never felt anything for me. I stayed with her and tolerated her treatment because I'd hoped that one day she'd come to love me. That she'd see just how good we were together and

Over and over again she proved just how selfish and self-centered she was. She cared about nobody but herself and that stupid love she held on to for a man that cheated on

enough, my love turned sour. I hated her. Loathed her with everything that I am.

because I gave her the power to treat me as

Calvin" he begging pulls me

She is nothing like the woman I remembered. Her light was gone, and

me. "You think you can regain what you lost now that the man you've held on to for

to make

lost, Emma. It's too late for your fucking apologies"