As I begin to wake up, not sure where I am at as I'm looking around, I then realize I'm in the cabin. I look down at myself, and I'm clean. Someone must have showered me and changed my clothes. What the fuck. Who the hell would do that, damn it, they would have touched me fuck. I'm embarrassed, not sure how to even act. I get out of bed and walk to the kitchen to get a drink.

“How did you sleep, you have been out for a while? 

I jump and scream not knowing anyone else was here “what the fuck are you doing here?”

“Oh, so you are able to speak by the way I'm Sam not sure if you remember, but I volunteered to be your friend.”

“Well, Sam please leave. I don't want any friends and did you change me.”

“I did not bathe and change you, that was the Alpha. He would not dear let anyone touch while you asleep.”

“Why can't you guys just let me alone.”

“Why don't you sit and relax, I will make you breakfast, I'm actually a pretty good cook.”

“Ok I'm starving, so I guess that would be fine as long as you don't talk to me, just let me alone.”

“I will keep quiet but if you change your mind here, I'm a great listener.”

I don't talk to him while he prepares my breakfast, I am starving from not eating for a couple of days. I think it's really nice of him to cook me breakfast, but I am afraid to feel anything for anybody. I can't get any attachments, I can't allow myself to be happy. I want to know how long I've been sleeping for, I am not really sure what day it is today. Wanting to know but not wanting to ask him, I just sit there. My thoughts become dark, if I am not able to kill myself I need to find an event that it would be most likely I would not survive. I can always live on the edge and just hope that something happens, and I don't survive. I can't help but to be in this dark place, I am not really sure how to get myself out of it. It's nice to know that there is one person in this pack that is actually friendly maybe when I am ready I will talk to him.

“Alright here is your breakfast, please don't judge too hard, but I know it's going to taste delicious though.” he smiles and hands it to me.

me a plate of

if he should talk back,

good I was never the cook my mom would try

teach you if you would

want to be taught by my mother

didn't mean to upset you, I was just offering

storm to the bathroom. I am not mad at him just mad at myself for being such a bitch. Come Lilly you didn't need to be a bitch to him, he is just trying to be your friend. Star I don't want any friends right now, I just need to be

myself, so please just ignore me

alone. It is nice to have at least

wasn't so hard now was it. You made your first friend. Star I am not going to be

sweetness, but please just give me space, don't

sweet, well

while it is still hot, so we

I instantly shatter it, how dare I be happy when I meant to be miserable. I know that their death is not my fault, but I suffer the guilt of their deaths every day they say as time goes on it will get easier, but the time is moving slowly and every day is getting harder. I just don't know how to be happy without them, I don't think I deserve to be? Sam does seem nice. He's the only person who has tried to really talk to me since my

up breakfast I look at Sam, “I am going to go for a run

should relax, your body needs time to relax, you have been running

to go for a run, so I don't

is exhausted, you

I don't need you telling me what I need, I was asking you just to be nice that was

trying to look out for you. If

concern you don't have

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