Love Aint Always Pretty

Chapter 21: 21 Numinous

Numinous

- awed yet attracted; the powerful personal feeling of being overwhelmed and inspired

Origin: Latin

21

It was already midnight, almost one in the morning and I think Tracy is still at the frat party. She hasn't come back yet and I won't be worried cos I'm sure Nick is there with her. While as for myself, I'm busy reading this book and I'm already half way through after Nick borrowed it a while ago. The only light in my room was coming from the lampshade on my study table and this novel assigned to me is actually pretty good, despite the old English words used on this but it's amazing. I wish I could become one of New York's bestselling authors someday. All of a sudden my phone lights up right next to me and I quickly grabbed it.

A message from an unregistered number: Where are you?

Who's this? I replied.

Nick.

My heart raced and hands went cold as ice in a nanosecond. It's Nick.

How did you get my number? -Savannah

Robert. -Nick

Robert?? Who is Robert? -Savannah

I was kidding! Of course Tracy, who else? R u in the dorm? -Nick

Obviously. Where else would I be? Why? -Savannah

I was smiling and spurting little laughs while I was sending the message to Nick. I know we're both weird to each other. I wonder why he's texting me right now.

Can I come over? Right now? -Nick

Shit.

My eyes widened. Oh my god. Oh my god. Is he going to have sex with me right now? I quickly smelled my hair, it still smells good though. I tried smell my breath, it still smells mint. I smelled my armpit too and it smells fresh. Crap I haven't taken a shower before hitting the bed. I should've taken one a while ago! I haven't shaved too and I think my hair is growing down there and my legs. Oh goodness! Im getting nervous!

Why in hell am I nervous?!

Why are you coming over? -Savannah

You dropped your ID in my car. Now I have to drive it there since Tracy is already sleeping in my room. -Nick

That was the longest text he sent me since a while ago and I... Love it. It's weird I know but I love it. Every time I read his message it's like I'm hearing him saying it. This is so weird. I'm so weird.

Oh. Ok. I'll just be waiting for you to drop by then. -Savannah

Want something to eat? I can buy some midnight snacks for you before I give back your ID. -Nick

I smiled. He's changed. He is changing. He's unfolding a new side of Nick Wilde that Im currently starting to like it. Sweet though still impassive but at least he's showing a little care and thoughtfulness.

Anything will do. Thanks :) -Savannah

Ok. On my way. -Nick

Even on reading his message, I can still feel his coldheartedness.

But gosh my heart just really starts beating even harder right now than a while ago. I'm scared about the fact that he's coming. He's coming over at a time like this. I know he's just going to drop my ID here but why am I all fidgety? Why is my mind so bugged about it? Why am I nervous?

I feel like I can't even breathe right. God, my hands are still cold. I quickly put my hair down and stared at my reflection on my front cam. I look too bitchy. No, I'm putting my hair into a messy bun. I pulled my hair back up again and stared at myself on my phone once more. Longer than the usual. Better.

But I think it's sexier if my hair is down. I hope he'll get tempted by it.

My eyes narrowed.

Why did I say that? Why in hell am I worried of how I look? Why am I thinking about how to get him to notice me tonight? And why the hell am I thinking of doing him right now?

I slightly slapped my cheek to diss that thought. He's just going to drop off your ID Savannah. Don't get too flushed by your dirty thoughts. Don't get your hopes up. But if he motions of doing so, then don't say no. You signed up for this. You want this. I tell myself.

I tried to read again the novel from where I left it but it's no use. I'm just too excited that Nick is coming over. My mind just can't wait to see him even though I've seen him a while ago.

Around fifteen minutes have passed, a knock came by the door. A knock came in my fucking door. Good lord he's here. Oh god he's here. I quickly rushed to the door and exhaled before swinging it open. Nick stands before me and smelled so freaking good as if he just got off the shower but his hair was dry. His got a box of pizza on one hand and a white plastic bag on the other.

can already pass as a delivery

half grin. "And you could already pass as a stressed college kid but you're not half away through

ignored what he said cos I was focusing more on him and his face. God he's super handsome and why is he hotter at a time like this? Or maybe my hormones are

box of pizza all to myself." I said.

pauses. Is he doubting

"Sure." He says.

him, "Why in hell

Shit. Shit. Shit.

did that on purpose cos I want to screw him. Even though I really want

lamp on the study table was all I need." I said.

say a word and just looked at me.

They should thank me for that

on his throat and

the bed. My study table

thinking Savannah! Now he thinks even more that I really want it now. Why am I giving him mix signals that are all pointing to having sex with him?

being so paranoid. Of course he needs to put it on the bed cos your study table is not available and he'll understand. Just relax. Don't make him think you're thinking of what you

to turn off the lampshade and he did what I told him to do. Everything was on my bed and he sits down as well. He stares at me eagerly as I walk closer to the bed. I take a seat right across him and his eyes are never

It's awkward.

cos we're alone in a room on one bed

eat?" I smiled even

and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I haven't had pizza for almost two weeks now and I quickly grabbed one for him then one for myself. We were just eating quietly and he ate the crust first then the pointed tip of the pizza. I love examining him when he's eating or he's doing something cos I can learn little things he likes and dislikes but what he does. He doesn't like to be asked so might as well be a keen observer.

notice him that he was securing the plastic bag next to his lap.

inside the plastic bag?"

And stuff that I need." He

hair gel? Deodorant? Shampoo?"

hollered. "Why in hell did you do grocery

at me. "I didn't do grocery not at a time

are those drinks

have it inside." He smirked.

I asked.

pouts while slightly moving his heads

He just pouted.

that was so

"Nope." He answered.

gotta be soda. Sodas always matches pizza." I

can still see that stuff he's saying. It's a box, I think. I can't see it clearly though but it sure does look like a box. I'm so curious of

I quickly snatched the plastic bag from beside him when he wasn't looking

He said,

"What's wrong if I take

He sighs.

back of his neck. Awe, he's shy.

condom?" I

placed it back

from my wallet has

I laughed softly.

think I need a lot of those for us to use

Us.

were a real thing when he said that but no we can't be more than what we have now. We're not allowed to fall. I'm not allowed to

Nick Wilde is

bite from

I think he saw my eyes flaring when I

I know I was being a maniac but after reading that label, I was starting to get more curious of how it looks. Christ Savannah,

Mental face palm.

was left after both of us felt full to our stomach. Nick and I cleaned up a little and as usual we were both quiet. I wanted to talk to him, probably ask anything but then I don't want to annoy him. I don't want him to think I'm so annoying. I didn't know that he already came back to the room after throwing the trashes out, I was unknowingly on top of my bed, fixing my bedsheets bending my ass over facing the door until I hear a closing sound of the door behind me. I looked over my shoulder and he was standing and watching me. I quickly sat back down on the bed from that

just ate Nick.

him. I don't really want to be the one initiating and who does a motive for asking sex. I don't want to sound so desperate for it.

crap is he gonna kiss me? His face is too close. Oh my goodness! His cold winter blue eyes locking

He's too close

It's too quiet.

It's too awkward.

my lips and his hands

He

more and his lips will already land on mine. Just a little tiny space in between my lips from his lips. I can already feel his breathing on my face and I

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