Love Aint Always Pretty

Aspectabund

- being able to let expressive emotion show easily through one a face and eyes

Origin: English

33

3:30 AM

Nick and I were still playing by the shore of this beach where he took me. There weren't much people around since it was already getting late. He was giving me a piggyback ride while he kept spinning himself around and around until both of us fell on the sand. My butt was hurting but we were both laughing.

We weren't drunk and we didn't drink. I think this was the side effects of showering together and eating pizza and ice cream. I think this was definitely caused by the ice cream. It was strawberry, he said it was his favorite. Unusual favorite flavor of an ice cream for a frat guy like him.

I wonder if Catherine likes strawberry flavored ice cream too.

We haven't had sleep yet and I think when we're together we don't need sleep at all cos even though I am with him, all these time that I'm spending with Nick is still not enough for me. It feels like I wanna stop the hand of the clock, I wanna freeze time when I'm with him so I could just spend my time with him and not worrying about stopping this.

He laughs louder after I fell on the sand, it was his natural laugh and I love hearing his laugh, how adorable he looks when he holds his stomach and pulls his head back.

"You did that on purpose." I said while dusting off the sand sticking on my butt.

"I didn't mean it. Really. Im sorry." he helps me stand.

Both of us are now standing, facing each other while he's brushing his thumb against my cheek and I am falling more and more in love with Nick even though Im not allowed to. Im falling more in love with him even though I know this thing leads to nowhere. Im going to keep what I feel to myself even though it will hurt me so bad but at least I spent a very unforgettable time with him.

He helps me dust off the sands on my thigh and he kissed my neck briefly. I cupped his cheek then tiptoed to kiss his lips. These little actions we do, makes me feel like he's mine and I'm his. We were acting boyfriend and girlfriend, like we own each other but to be honest, we dont. In other people's eyes, we look like we are together but we're not and the saddest party is that I want it to be real.

The thing I love about Nick is that he doesn't make me feel like he's only after me cos of sex. He makes me feel special at least he doesn't just use me now and dispose me today, he doesn't call me just cos he wants sex, but he actually hangs out with me after.

"I think we need to sleep." I say as I yawned.

He pushes my hair off my face, "Okay. Let's sleep on the truck bed."

I nod.

Both of us headed to his pick-up while he helps me up to the trunk bed of his car then he grabs a comforter that he has been having since a while ago. He gave it to me while I helped him lay it down. He climbs up and joins me. He opens the trunk and we lay down side by side. We were just casually lying, not that touchy or intimate. Just simply lying down. There were not much stars anymore and I was terribly sleepy as hell.

"I had fun tonight Nick." I say.

"Me too."

I turn to my side to take a good look at him.He looks at me from his peripheral view, "Are you going to watch me sleep?"

I smiled. "Why not? A view like that would be nice."

He quickly shifts to his side and faced me too then he kissed my forehead. "Get to sleep now."

We just stared at each other quietly. The way his blue eyes looks at me, makes me want to confess to him that I love him but I cant tell him. It will ruin us. It will ruin what I have with him.

"You're not falling in love with me, right?" he asked seriously.

My heart skipped a fucking beat.

I just dont know what to say to him. I want to tell him the truth but Im too scared to speak. I want to let him know about how my heart feels when he's around or when we make love, when we kiss, when we hug, when we're together and when he's being cuddly and playful when we're alone, when he steals kisses from me, but Im too scared to face the consequences if I'll tell him the truth.

Im not falling for you Nick. I already fell.

I smiled ruefully, "You think Im gonna fall for you? Never." I lied.

He just looked at me even longer and both of us didn't speak. His face seemed a little displeased with what I said or maybe Im just telling myself he's hurt and Im expecting him that he won't like what I said, but then he just pinched the tip of my nose.

"Good because.." he trailed off.

heart doesn't want to hear the words he's

don't want you to fall for me either.

run away and scream my lungs out, but don't cry Savannah. Not in front of

Don't cry.

not gonna catch

gonna catch

not gonna

Dont cry Savannah.

•••••

was wrapping around me, making sure I was close to him. I didn't know we fell asleep like this. I wonder how I ended up on too of his chest. I noticed that there were already a few people here at the beach and some were looking

and I feel Nick waking up too. Shit, I woke him

at me. He smiled

gaze at my watch, it was already eight in the morning. I watch him pull the edges of the comforter and covered us with it. I softly giggled,

morning." he say with a smile.

"Morning." I answer back.

thought about Catherine again. I don't know why she popped out of my head first thing in the morning, maybe because, I always know that every good thing that happens to me

want to ask him about Catherine and what happened to the both of them. I wanna ask him if they are still together. I am really curious about her eversince the first night I found Nick drunk by my doorway. I feel so desperate for answers that Im never gonna find out cos I know Nick, Tracy and

I don't want you to fall

not gonna catch

are still chanting on my head. I still hear his voice. I still remember how he said it. I still remember how he looked at me when he said it. Those words from last night totally crushed me. It broke me apart

drive to the diner. We had breakfast and I cant believe I spent the entire night with Nick like that. Im happy about what happened last night because it somewhat felt like forever but on the back of my head a voice always tells me not to be happy about it cos Im ust gonna get broken hearted once it'll end. Just like how he said it, he just showed to me that he's not gonna fall for

It's like Im falling...

falling...

falling...

still falling...

and floating mid air...

him to

for his arms to extend

then in

the ground.

been insanely quiet." he

up then placed

"Yeah. What's wrong?"

my food, "What do you think will happen to us in the future Nick? I mean,

was also looking back at me. It seemed like his eyes

know."

on his food. "All Im sure is that this

Ouch.

will with whatever this is. There's no future to

we don't have a commitment towards each other. This will just end Savannah. I don't know when

and feeling a pit of churning

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

just like we're playing a game Savannah. If

I already lost Nick.

end it?" I asked, my voice a little shaky, as

at

that we have? Will

having fun. Aren't you?" He arched

just smiled

He smiled back.

A voice from in front of me

He hugged me back as well and I was just happy seeing him

I'd see you here." He

telling you that." I

gazed at Nick. "You're

I want you to meet