Love Aint Always Pretty

Aspectabund

- being able to let expressive emotion show easily through one a face and eyes

Origin: English

33

3:30 AM

Nick and I were still playing by the shore of this beach where he took me. There weren't much people around since it was already getting late. He was giving me a piggyback ride while he kept spinning himself around and around until both of us fell on the sand. My butt was hurting but we were both laughing.

We weren't drunk and we didn't drink. I think this was the side effects of showering together and eating pizza and ice cream. I think this was definitely caused by the ice cream. It was strawberry, he said it was his favorite. Unusual favorite flavor of an ice cream for a frat guy like him.

I wonder if Catherine likes strawberry flavored ice cream too.

We haven't had sleep yet and I think when we're together we don't need sleep at all cos even though I am with him, all these time that I'm spending with Nick is still not enough for me. It feels like I wanna stop the hand of the clock, I wanna freeze time when I'm with him so I could just spend my time with him and not worrying about stopping this.

He laughs louder after I fell on the sand, it was his natural laugh and I love hearing his laugh, how adorable he looks when he holds his stomach and pulls his head back.

"You did that on purpose." I said while dusting off the sand sticking on my butt.

"I didn't mean it. Really. Im sorry." he helps me stand.

Both of us are now standing, facing each other while he's brushing his thumb against my cheek and I am falling more and more in love with Nick even though Im not allowed to. Im falling more in love with him even though I know this thing leads to nowhere. Im going to keep what I feel to myself even though it will hurt me so bad but at least I spent a very unforgettable time with him.

He helps me dust off the sands on my thigh and he kissed my neck briefly. I cupped his cheek then tiptoed to kiss his lips. These little actions we do, makes me feel like he's mine and I'm his. We were acting boyfriend and girlfriend, like we own each other but to be honest, we dont. In other people's eyes, we look like we are together but we're not and the saddest party is that I want it to be real.

The thing I love about Nick is that he doesn't make me feel like he's only after me cos of sex. He makes me feel special at least he doesn't just use me now and dispose me today, he doesn't call me just cos he wants sex, but he actually hangs out with me after.

"I think we need to sleep." I say as I yawned.

He pushes my hair off my face, "Okay. Let's sleep on the truck bed."

I nod.

Both of us headed to his pick-up while he helps me up to the trunk bed of his car then he grabs a comforter that he has been having since a while ago. He gave it to me while I helped him lay it down. He climbs up and joins me. He opens the trunk and we lay down side by side. We were just casually lying, not that touchy or intimate. Just simply lying down. There were not much stars anymore and I was terribly sleepy as hell.

"I had fun tonight Nick." I say.

"Me too."

I turn to my side to take a good look at him.He looks at me from his peripheral view, "Are you going to watch me sleep?"

I smiled. "Why not? A view like that would be nice."

He quickly shifts to his side and faced me too then he kissed my forehead. "Get to sleep now."

We just stared at each other quietly. The way his blue eyes looks at me, makes me want to confess to him that I love him but I cant tell him. It will ruin us. It will ruin what I have with him.

"You're not falling in love with me, right?" he asked seriously.

My heart skipped a fucking beat.

I just dont know what to say to him. I want to tell him the truth but Im too scared to speak. I want to let him know about how my heart feels when he's around or when we make love, when we kiss, when we hug, when we're together and when he's being cuddly and playful when we're alone, when he steals kisses from me, but Im too scared to face the consequences if I'll tell him the truth.

Im not falling for you Nick. I already fell.

I smiled ruefully, "You think Im gonna fall for you? Never." I lied.

He just looked at me even longer and both of us didn't speak. His face seemed a little displeased with what I said or maybe Im just telling myself he's hurt and Im expecting him that he won't like what I said, but then he just pinched the tip of my nose.

"Good because.." he trailed off.

want to hear the

to fall for me

My heart is hurting so bad that I just wanna run away and scream my lungs out, but don't cry

Don't cry.

gonna catch

gonna

not gonna

Dont cry Savannah.

•••••

and found myself lying down on Nick's chest while his arm was wrapping around me, making

soft moan and I feel Nick waking up too. Shit, I

and looked down at

eight in the morning. I watch him pull the edges

forgot to say good morning." he say with a smile.

"Morning." I answer back.

and as I watch the sky, I thought about Catherine again. I don't know why she popped out of my head first thing in the morning, maybe because, I always know that every good thing that happens to me and nick, badluck follows. Im not saying Catherine is a badluck or bringing badluck, but Im just thinking it'll ruin what I have with Nick if

them. I wanna ask him if they are still together. I am really curious about her eversince the first night I found Nick drunk by my doorway. I feel so desperate for answers that Im never gonna find out

want you to

not gonna catch you."

it. I still remember how he looked at me when he said it. Those words from last night totally crushed me. It broke me

was just quiet the entire drive to the diner. We had breakfast and I cant believe I spent the entire night with Nick like that. Im happy about what happened last night because it somewhat felt like forever but on the back of my head a voice always tells me not to be happy about it cos Im ust gonna get broken hearted once it'll end. Just like how he said it, he just showed to me that he's not gonna fall for me. He's not gonna

It's like Im falling...

falling...

falling...

still falling...

and floating mid air...

him

his arms to extend and

in a

the

been insanely quiet."

pulled my head up then placed honey on

"Yeah. What's wrong?"

do you think will happen to us in the future Nick? I

me. It seemed like his eyes were fishing for answers into

don't know."

Im sure is that this

Ouch.

will with whatever this is. There's no future

This will just end Savannah. I don't know

sob and feeling a pit of churning in my stomach. I take

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

me, "It's just like we're playing a game Savannah. If you fall in love

I already lost Nick.

to end it?" I asked, my voice a little shaky, as I try not to

at me

have? Will you want to end

having fun. Aren't you?" He arched his

smiled ruefully. "Very

He smiled back.

voice from in front

stood right before me. My jaws dropped and I literally jumped off my seat and hugged him. He hugged me back as well and I was just happy seeing him here. It was so

didn't know I'd see you here."

one telling you that."

gazed at Nick.

want you to meet Nick, he's