Love Aint Always Pretty

Idée Fixe

- an idea that dominates one's mind especially for a prolonged period; obsession

Origin: French

23

"Please tell me you'll come?"

Here comes Tracy again, begging me to go along with her and her friends. I love Tracy but I don't love... I don't like, at least, most of her friends. It's a mutual feeling though and whenever Penny is around, all she'll ever do is to retaliate me. She gets to my nerve like I how I get into hers. She hates the way I dress. She hates every thing I do. She hates me being around the same place that she's around. She hates me. She loathes my entire being.

Penny is just so hateful. And I'm sure as hell that she's just jealous of me cos I am way better than her. She looks like a prostitute with those kind of clothes on her. And I look like the kind of woman that men respects more.

And if it's not only Tracy's birthday this Saturday I wouldn't wanna go. But since she's turning twenty and I'm her roommate, and she begs a lot then I know I have to go. I wouldn't want to disappoint her but I was actually thinking my absence won't make any difference at all.

"Please Savannah?" She pouts.

I smiled. "Okay. I'll go."

"Yey! It's not only a party. It's like dinner then party. We won't be staying at the frat house. Romeo's letting me borrow his father's lake house." She smiles happily.

"Lake house? Wow."

"Yeah. Wow."

"I thought Nick has a problem with rich people?" I asked.

Tracy smiled ruefully. "Romeo and Nick aren't really that close. Romeo and Clyde are the ones who were friends from the start that's why Romeo is also my friend."

I nod, showing her that I understand. "Will Penny be there?" I asked.

She chuckles, she knows I hate her. "Yeah. Since she's in our circle, then I think she's really gonna go. Don't worry, I'm there."

I smiled at her.

"Oh I gotta go. Don't wanna be late for my last class. See you later!" She waves while starts to runaway from me.

I waved back at Tracy and started walking to the opposite direction. It has been three days since I saw Nick. Tracy said he's been busy with a few of his exams and looking for a company where he can do his internship. I forgot to ask Tracy what Nick's course was and now I'm curious about it all of a sudden. Well, actually everything about Nick makes me curious as hell and I've never been this curious towards a guy.

It has been days since the last time I saw Nick. Three days since the last time we had sex. Three days of thinking when I'm gonna see him again. Three days of constant imagining about what we did that night in my room before I go to sleep. Three days... And it already feels too long.

I'm sure he's going to see me again cos of this book he borrowed from the library and it's still with me.

I always think about him even though I don't want to. I always find myself imagining that he's inside my room. I always imagine what we did when I stare at my bed. I always force myself to think that I miss what we did and not him. I always try to keep myself busy but later on in the middle of what I'm doing, I stop cos I'm thinking of him again.

Sometimes I lie awake in the middle of the night and I just keep on thinking about him. Thinking about Nick. I know I need to get some sleep cos I got classes the following day and then here's also this novel that I need to finish and study before the deadline but I do it all the time; I always think of him. I try to read the novel but he's consuming my mind. He hasn't texted or called or checked on me. I think his effect on me after our first night is unhealthy to me and it's just our first night.

Nick is not near me but it feels like he's everywhere I go. He's not watching me but it feels like his eyes are following me.

I headed to my dorm and tried to finish my summary about the classic novel. This story was about an unexpected love between Philip and Mary but then they lost each other cos of their family differences and after ten years they found their way to each other again. Philip was already a soldier and he found out that Mary was already married and already had a family. But their spark ignited and their old feelings rekindled. The ending wasn't happily ever after cos Philip died on a war not knowing that Mary was conceiving their first child after ten years of being apart. Sad story.

the perfect time for me to grab dinner. I'm famished. Tracy said she'll be out with Clyde and since she can't find Nick anywhere, she felt sorry that I have to grab dinner alone. She asked me to come along with them but then I wouldn't want to be their third wheel. I grabbed my cardigan putting it over my white sleeveless and then placed my silky black shorts on me and fixed my hair in front

was hoping it

Aries calling...

I sighed.

"Hey." I answered.

angel!" He

smile when he calls

dorm actually, are you

"Yeah. Why?"

"Dinner together?"

"Perfect timing. I was about to grab

"Alright."

up and hurriedly stumbled my way out of the dorm. I found Aries standing close to his car with his signature baseball cap placed backwards and that striking grin plastered on his face. I walked close to him and I'm not doing anything wrong right now. We're just going out for dinner and I always tell myself not to get smitten by him. I see Aries more brotherly and not the way I see

name. He hasn't even showed himself for three days after he

his car and enters the driver's seat. He started the engine right away and he asked me how I was. He said I was cool about that beer pong game. Gosh that was so long ago and I haven't seen him much lately. He said

we reached the diner we quickly settled down on the table and ordered up. Aries kept talking about the days we haven't seen each other and most were shenanigans he did with his

I'm not boring you."

no. You're not. Never. Trust me. You're ridiculously

laughs. "How was your

My weekend?

that night, Nick said it was risky to drive at night. Nick had a cut on his hand. I cleaned his wound inside the bathroom. I don't know how

great."

good to hear. Are you going

me about it

me. "I guess I have a reason

that reason

into me. This is the kind of guy that I can tell us attracted to me

it. I'm saying his

just smiled on my seat but I tried not to give a meaning to what Aries just said

women like

smiled. "Good idea but I don't know her size. How about

soda. "I don't really know why you're asking me that. I'm not good

do suck at

can go with you if you want. I think I'll buy something for her too."

also looking to the window and we can't barely see the road that much

all of a sudden." He

turned to me.

should stay in a little longer. It's kind of pouring hard outside."

"Okay. Ice cream?"

"It's already raining and you want us to eat ice cream? Wow.

He smiled.

I just can't stop thinking about Nick. Right now, after three days, I have this aching need to see him, to hear his voice. That aching need of wanting him which

me. I'm his territory. He owns me physically but I'm not allowed to hand him

at him. He's really a great guy, I tell you. Now I

about Nick too much. He's probably out there busy fucking other women. He may not be thinking

jacket, black skinny jeans and a pair

asked as he sat right next to Aries.