Love Aint Always Pretty

Idée Fixe

- an idea that dominates one's mind especially for a prolonged period; obsession

Origin: French

23

"Please tell me you'll come?"

Here comes Tracy again, begging me to go along with her and her friends. I love Tracy but I don't love... I don't like, at least, most of her friends. It's a mutual feeling though and whenever Penny is around, all she'll ever do is to retaliate me. She gets to my nerve like I how I get into hers. She hates the way I dress. She hates every thing I do. She hates me being around the same place that she's around. She hates me. She loathes my entire being.

Penny is just so hateful. And I'm sure as hell that she's just jealous of me cos I am way better than her. She looks like a prostitute with those kind of clothes on her. And I look like the kind of woman that men respects more.

And if it's not only Tracy's birthday this Saturday I wouldn't wanna go. But since she's turning twenty and I'm her roommate, and she begs a lot then I know I have to go. I wouldn't want to disappoint her but I was actually thinking my absence won't make any difference at all.

"Please Savannah?" She pouts.

I smiled. "Okay. I'll go."

"Yey! It's not only a party. It's like dinner then party. We won't be staying at the frat house. Romeo's letting me borrow his father's lake house." She smiles happily.

"Lake house? Wow."

"Yeah. Wow."

"I thought Nick has a problem with rich people?" I asked.

Tracy smiled ruefully. "Romeo and Nick aren't really that close. Romeo and Clyde are the ones who were friends from the start that's why Romeo is also my friend."

I nod, showing her that I understand. "Will Penny be there?" I asked.

She chuckles, she knows I hate her. "Yeah. Since she's in our circle, then I think she's really gonna go. Don't worry, I'm there."

I smiled at her.

"Oh I gotta go. Don't wanna be late for my last class. See you later!" She waves while starts to runaway from me.

I waved back at Tracy and started walking to the opposite direction. It has been three days since I saw Nick. Tracy said he's been busy with a few of his exams and looking for a company where he can do his internship. I forgot to ask Tracy what Nick's course was and now I'm curious about it all of a sudden. Well, actually everything about Nick makes me curious as hell and I've never been this curious towards a guy.

It has been days since the last time I saw Nick. Three days since the last time we had sex. Three days of thinking when I'm gonna see him again. Three days of constant imagining about what we did that night in my room before I go to sleep. Three days... And it already feels too long.

I'm sure he's going to see me again cos of this book he borrowed from the library and it's still with me.

I always think about him even though I don't want to. I always find myself imagining that he's inside my room. I always imagine what we did when I stare at my bed. I always force myself to think that I miss what we did and not him. I always try to keep myself busy but later on in the middle of what I'm doing, I stop cos I'm thinking of him again.

Sometimes I lie awake in the middle of the night and I just keep on thinking about him. Thinking about Nick. I know I need to get some sleep cos I got classes the following day and then here's also this novel that I need to finish and study before the deadline but I do it all the time; I always think of him. I try to read the novel but he's consuming my mind. He hasn't texted or called or checked on me. I think his effect on me after our first night is unhealthy to me and it's just our first night.

Nick is not near me but it feels like he's everywhere I go. He's not watching me but it feels like his eyes are following me.

I headed to my dorm and tried to finish my summary about the classic novel. This story was about an unexpected love between Philip and Mary but then they lost each other cos of their family differences and after ten years they found their way to each other again. Philip was already a soldier and he found out that Mary was already married and already had a family. But their spark ignited and their old feelings rekindled. The ending wasn't happily ever after cos Philip died on a war not knowing that Mary was conceiving their first child after ten years of being apart. Sad story.

sorry that I have to grab dinner alone. She asked me to come along with them but then I wouldn't want to be their third wheel. I grabbed my cardigan putting

hoping it was Nick.

Aries calling...

I sighed.

"Hey." I answered.

angel!" He greets happily.

when he

outside your dorm actually,

"Yeah. Why?"

"Dinner together?"

timing. I was about to grab dinner. Be

"Alright."

backwards and that striking grin plastered on his face. I walked close to him and I'm not doing anything wrong right now. We're just going out for dinner and I always tell myself not to get smitten by him. I see Aries more brotherly and not

about his name. He hasn't even showed himself for three

walks around his car and enters the driver's seat. He started the engine right away and he asked me how I was. He said I was cool about that beer pong game. Gosh that was so long ago and I haven't seen him much lately. He

kept talking about the days we haven't seen each other and most were shenanigans he did with his friends. I found out that he visited her grandmother last weekend and I love how he's such a

hope I'm not boring you." He says.

"Oh no. You're not.

laughs. "How was

My weekend?

their mother's grave. We went to their old house. Nick cooked for us. It was very delicious. We had to stay behind cos there was a storm that night, Nick said it was risky to drive at night. Nick had a cut on his hand. I cleaned his wound inside the bathroom. I don't know how it happened but it happened. He kissed me. I kissed him. We talked about having a deal that we're only after each other for sex. I agreed to it. And I just had sex with him three nights ago. All in all my weekend

great." I

smiled. "That's good to hear. Are you going to Tracy's mini birthday party this

me about it just a

"I guess

that reason

into me. This is the kind of

saying

Aries just said to me. "Do you know what

women like

don't know her size. How about a charm bracelet?

don't really know why you're asking

do suck at giving gifts

want. I think I'll buy something for her too."

of the window, it was raining hard outside. Aries was also looking to the window and we can't barely see

of a sudden."

me.

we should stay in a little longer. It's

"Okay. Ice cream?"

to eat ice

He smiled.

I just can't stop thinking about Nick. Right now, after three days, I have this aching need to see him, to hear his voice. That aching need of wanting him which can make me feel bliss if it

his lips on those parts of me where he marked them. It's like he marked me. I'm his territory. He owns me physically but I'm not allowed to hand him my heart cos I'm

was even laughing at him. He's really a great guy, I tell you. Now

hell Savannah? Stop thinking about Nick too much. He's probably out there busy

v-neck shirt, black leather jacket, black skinny jeans and a pair of dirty white shoes. The smile on my face faded when I saw him looking at me. His hair was partially wet from the rain outside and my heartbeat is racing. Alec spots me and started walking towards my table while Nick

as