Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

also fuck

breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot of women as much as you want to.

know I can't do that cos I only

heart is melting. Don't give in Savannah. You're stronger

jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get jealous but you don't admit it to yourself!" I yelled

cos you kissed Aries! Now where did you go?!"

don't have the right to know Nick. You and I are not in a

He laughs humorlessly.

go fuck?"

My eyes widened.

good? Was he better when he ate you? Was he bigger than I am? Did he make you scream?

slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His

fucking think I'm that kind of woman?! You think I

was sorry. His eyes are rueful. His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just

we may not be in a relationship and we may not have a label, but Nick I've never had

and it's too much already. I always say it's

pull myself away from

It just came out. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

I say as

"Savannah please."

the fuck out!"

I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me so straight into my face. I never thought he could

the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused

You two..." Tracy seemed

laughs humorlessly but I know she couldn't

been fucking each other around behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why

"I'm sorry." I say.

he'll only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this thing been going

I closed my eyes.

answer that Savannah." Nick

you at least going to court her

"No." Nick answers.

quickly. Still no hesitation

I sigh.

You use women. I

escaping from my

Nick eagerly. "You're just

Tracy. Yes. This is

are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap? She deserves more than just to be your fuck girl!"

please. It's okay."

not okay Savannah! Do you hear yourself? He's my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this

I cut her off and my tears are still

lip parted in

me as much as he wants to and as long as he needs me cos I love him." I

knows about how I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel

should

shake my head and

that day will come when he'll get tired

"I don't know."

I ruined her

You should've known better Nick. She's only eighteen and

wrong. If I fuck Savannah as much as I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you but you still said yes to

them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear those words coming

life. It's not yours. It's

fall first as you see now. You will not only ruin her but you'll emotionally hurt

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.