Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

I can also fuck any woman I

crossed my arms together against my breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot of women as

do that cos I only want

give in Savannah. You're stronger than

get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me

cos you kissed Aries! Now where did you go?!" His

the right to know Nick. You and I are

He laughs humorlessly.

fuck?" He asked

My eyes widened.

fuck you good? Was he better when he ate you?

hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face looking

woman?! You think I could go around sleep

they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell.

have a label, but Nick I've never had sex

my heart. He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right now it is ready too much that I can't seem to handle it. It's

myself away from

came out. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

out." I say as

"Savannah please."

fuck out!" I yelled at

me that. I never imagined he could say that

We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and troubled. I

two..." Tracy seemed surprised like

I know she couldn't believe the

behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't

"I'm sorry." I say.

hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this

I closed my eyes.

answer that

you at least going to court her Nick?"

"No." Nick answers.

quickly. Still

I sigh.

You use women. I never thought

from my

eagerly. "You're just

Tracy. Yes. This is all

now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you

please. It's

Savannah! Do you hear yourself? He's my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this to you! You're an innocent girl. You're too innocent for him. It's

Tracy." I cut her off and my tears are still

lip parted

let him use me as much as he wants to and as long

as if she's asking him that he knows about how I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this but I love Nick. I'm still

should be stopping

head and

when he'll get tired of you, what's next?" She asks

don't know." I answer

I ruined

You should've known better Nick. She's only eighteen and

it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you but you still said yes to him. So don't get involve with our shit. It's not your goddamn business. "

my face with my hands. I'm so embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear those words coming from their mouths. I feel so embarrassed cos it's because

not yours. It's ours! We

will always fall first as you see now. You will not only ruin her but you'll emotionally hurt

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.