Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

fuck any woman I want cos you're also doing

together against my breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot of women as much

that cos

give in Savannah. You're stronger than

with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get jealous but you don't admit it to yourself!"

jealous cos you kissed Aries!

Nick. You and I are not in

He laughs humorlessly.

you go fuck?" He

My eyes widened.

Was he better when he ate you? Was he bigger than I am? Did he make

him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face looking over to another direction and his jaws

You think I could go around

a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips

I've never had sex with another

already. I always say it's too much but right now it is ready too much that

for me but I pull myself away from him. "Don't you dare think about touching

sorry. It just came out. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm really

out." I say as I

"Savannah please."

the fuck out!" I yelled at

he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to

to the door and my jaw dropped when I saw Tracy standing by the doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and troubled.

two..."

but I know she couldn't

me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even tell me anything

"I'm sorry." I say.

only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this thing been going on?" Tracy

I closed my eyes.

that Savannah." Nick

to court her

"No." Nick answers.

quickly. Still no hesitation on his

I sigh.

just the same as Aries. You use

are escaping from my eyes like a

eyes Nick eagerly. "You're just fucking

is all

times we were together. God Nick are

It's

He's my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this to you! You're an innocent girl. You're too innocent for

I cut her off

lip parted

me as much as he wants to and as long as he needs me cos

I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this but I love Nick. I'm still too in

be mad that he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this kind of thing you have with Nick. It'll go nowhere." She

shake my head and cried cos

if that day will come when he'll get tired of you, what's next?" She

sigh. "I don't know." I

I ruined her

You will. You should've known better Nick. She's only eighteen and you're twenty four years old!

do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with

fight because of me. I don't want to hear those words coming from their mouths.

my sex life, Tracy. It's Savannah's sex life. It's not yours. It's ours! We can do what we want

Nick. You will give her false hope and women will always fall first as you see now. You will not only ruin her

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.