Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

you mean to say I can also fuck any woman I want cos you're also doing the same

crossed my arms together against my breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot of women as much as you want to. I won't tell you to

I can't do that cos I only want

Don't give in Savannah. You're

jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get jealous but you don't admit it

maybe I am! Maybe I am jealous cos you kissed Aries! Now where did you

to know Nick. You and I

He laughs humorlessly.

fuck?"

My eyes widened.

Was he better when he ate you?

my hand up and palm landed on his cheek. I slapped Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face looking over to

I'm that kind of woman?! You think I could go around sleep with other men?!" I

sorry. His eyes are rueful. His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he

together, we may not be in a relationship and we may not have a label, but Nick I've never

always say it's too much but right now it is ready too much that I can't seem to handle it. It's out

reaches for me but I pull myself away from him. "Don't you

out. I'm sorry. I

say as I

"Savannah please."

the fuck out!"

don't care if other students were hearing us fight but I wanted him to leave. I'm hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me

We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice

long did... You two..." Tracy seemed surprised like

but I know she

other around behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even tell

"I'm sorry." I say.

only hurt you. But

I closed my eyes.

answer that

least going to

"No." Nick answers.

quickly. Still

I sigh.

just the same as Aries. You use women. I never thought you could

escaping from

"You're just fucking her?

is all he could give

now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really

It's okay."

it's not okay Savannah! Do you hear yourself? He's my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this to you!

Tracy." I cut her off and my

lip parted

wants to and as long as he needs me cos I love him."

he knows about how I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this but I love Nick. I'm still too in

should be stopping this. You shouldn't

head and cried cos it's

that day will come when he'll get tired of you, what's next?" She asks

sigh. "I don't know." I

know I ruined her Tracy." Nick

Nick. She's only eighteen and you're

do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you but you still said yes to him. So don't get involve with our

face with my hands. I'm so embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear those words coming

sex life. It's not yours. It's ours! We can do what we want cos

hurt her Nick. You will give her false hope and women will always fall first

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.