Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

to say I can also fuck any woman I want cos you're

Be free. Fuck a lot of women as much

know I can't do that cos I

melting. Don't give

yourself that you're fucking jealous?! You get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone

I am! Maybe I am jealous cos you kissed Aries! Now where

Nick. You and I

He laughs humorlessly.

you go fuck?"

My eyes widened.

you good? Was he better when he ate you? Was he

him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it

I'm that kind of woman?! You think I could go around sleep with

was sorry. His eyes are rueful. His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said

may not have a label, but Nick I've never had sex with another

He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right now it is ready too

reaches for me but I pull myself away from him. "Don't you dare

just came out. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

I say as

"Savannah please."

out!" I yelled at

him to leave. I'm hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never

didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and

long did... You two..." Tracy seemed

humorlessly but I know she couldn't believe the

backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't

"I'm sorry." I say.

I told you to stay away from Nick cos he'll only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this thing been going on?"

I closed my eyes.

that

to court her

"No." Nick answers.

answered so quickly. Still no hesitation

I sigh.

just the same as Aries. You use women. I never

tears are escaping from my eyes

eagerly. "You're just fucking

Tracy. Yes. This is all

to me. Both of you lied to me. I felt so stupid now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to keep

please. It's okay." I

hear yourself? He's my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this to you! You're

love him Tracy." I cut her off and my

parted in

much as he wants to and as long as he needs me cos I love him."

if she's asking him that he knows about how I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this but I love Nick. I'm still too in love to let go. Not now.

for his own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You

head and cried

get tired of you, what's

sigh. "I don't

know I ruined her Tracy."

You will. You should've known better Nick. She's only eighteen and you're

you so mad at us? As if we did something wrong. If I fuck Savannah as much as I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like

of me. I don't want to hear those words coming from their

my sex life, Tracy. It's Savannah's sex life. It's not yours. It's ours! We can do what we

always fall first as you see now. You will not only ruin her but you'll emotionally

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.