Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

to say I can also fuck any woman I want cos you're also doing

a lot of women as

can't do that cos I only want you." He

Don't give in Savannah. You're

You're jealous

am jealous cos you

Nick. You and I are not in

He laughs humorlessly.

fuck?"

My eyes widened.

you? Was he bigger than I am? Did

brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks.

I'm that kind of woman?! You think I

me as if he was sorry. His eyes are rueful. His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just

but Nick I've

falling more. He's crumpling my heart. He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much

away from him. "Don't you dare think about

sorry. It just came out. I'm sorry. I didn't

say as I

"Savannah please."

the fuck out!" I

to leave. I'm hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined

opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at

two..." Tracy seemed surprised

I know she

been fucking each other around behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even tell me anything about this?!" Tracy's

"I'm sorry." I say.

save it. I told you to stay away from Nick cos he'll only hurt you. But

I closed my eyes.

that Savannah."

you at least going to court her

"No." Nick answers.

so quickly. Still no hesitation on

I sigh.

Aries. You use women. I never thought

are escaping from my eyes

Nick eagerly. "You're just fucking her? Just like

This is all he could give

lied to me. I felt so stupid now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap? She deserves

It's okay."

it's not okay Savannah! Do you hear yourself? He's my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this

cut her off and

parted

he wants to and as long as he needs me cos

him as if she's asking him that he knows about how I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't

own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You

and

that day will come when he'll get tired of you, what's

"I don't know." I answer

I ruined her

You should've known better Nick. She's only eighteen and

did something wrong. If I fuck Savannah as much as I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from

face with my hands. I'm so embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear those words coming from their

life. It's not yours. It's ours!

and women will always fall first as you see now.

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.