Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

really? So you mean to say I can also fuck any woman I want cos you're

lot

I can't do that cos I only want you." He

is melting. Don't give

you just admit to yourself that you're fucking jealous?! You get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get jealous but you don't admit it to yourself!" I

am! Maybe I am jealous cos you kissed Aries!

right to know Nick. You and I are not

He laughs humorlessly.

go fuck?" He asked

My eyes widened.

ate you? Was he

slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out

fucking think I'm that kind of woman?! You think I could go around sleep with other men?!"

His eyes are rueful. His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said to

not be together, we may not be in a relationship and we may not have a label, but Nick I've never had

too much already. I always say it's

away from him. "Don't you dare think about touching me." I

sorry. It just came out. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm

out." I say

"Savannah please."

the fuck out!"

hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never

when I saw Tracy standing by the doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked

long did... You two..." Tracy

but I know she couldn't believe the things she

our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even tell me anything about this?!" Tracy's voice raising

"I'm sorry." I say.

it. I told you to stay away from Nick cos he'll only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this thing been going on?"

I closed my eyes.

answer that

going to

"No." Nick answers.

so quickly. Still no hesitation

I sigh.

You use women. I never

from my

eyes Nick eagerly. "You're just fucking her?

This is all

felt so stupid now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this

It's okay."

a close friend now. I can't let him do this

off and my tears are

parted in

him use me as much as he wants to and as long as he needs me cos I love

seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself

should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this kind of thing you

my head and cried cos

come when he'll get tired of you, what's next?" She

"I don't know." I

know I ruined

did. You will. You should've known better Nick. She's only eighteen

wrong. If I fuck Savannah as much as I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and

I don't want to hear

Savannah's sex life. It's not yours. It's ours! We can do what we

hope and women will always fall first

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.