Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

also fuck any woman I want cos you're

my arms together against my breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot of women as much as you want to.

know I can't do that cos I only want you."

heart is melting. Don't give in Savannah. You're stronger

freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone

jealous cos you kissed Aries! Now

the right to know Nick. You and

He laughs humorlessly.

you go fuck?" He asked

My eyes widened.

he ate you? Was he bigger than

hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face looking over to another direction and

that kind of woman?! You think I could go around

soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just

may not be together, we may not be in a relationship and we may not have a label, but Nick I've never had sex with another man aside

it's too much but right now it is ready too much that I can't seem to handle it. It's out

for me but I pull myself away from him. "Don't you dare think about touching

sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm really

say as

"Savannah please."

out!" I yelled

but I wanted him to leave. I'm hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he

Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and troubled. I wonder how long she has been standing there.

You two..." Tracy seemed

know she couldn't believe

been fucking each other around behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even tell me anything about

"I'm sorry." I say.

it. I told you to stay away from Nick cos he'll only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this thing been going on?" Tracy

I closed my eyes.

answer that Savannah." Nick

least going to court

"No." Nick answers.

answered so quickly. Still no hesitation on

I sigh.

same as Aries. You use women.

tears are escaping from my

"You're just fucking her? Just like

Tracy. Yes. This is all he could

now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap?

please. It's okay." I

it's not okay Savannah! Do you hear yourself? He's my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do

cut her off and my tears are still falling

lip parted

as much as he wants to and as long as

to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't

you doing this to yourself? You should be mad that he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this kind of thing you have with Nick. It'll go nowhere." She

my head and cried cos it's

will come when he'll get tired of you, what's next?"

sigh. "I don't know." I

ruined her Tracy."

did. You will. You should've known better Nick. She's only eighteen and you're twenty four years

As if we did something wrong. If I fuck Savannah as much as I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I

don't want them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear those words

It's Savannah's sex life. It's not yours. It's ours! We can

always fall first as you see now. You will not

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.