Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

say I can also fuck any woman I want cos you're also doing the same

arms together against my breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot of women as much as

I can't do that cos I only

melting. Don't give in Savannah. You're

freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get jealous but

jealous cos you kissed Aries! Now where did you

Nick. You and I are not

He laughs humorlessly.

you go fuck?" He asked

My eyes widened.

he better when he ate you?

palm landed on his cheek. I slapped Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face looking

kind of woman?! You think I

His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said to me. He just realized that he

may not have a label, but Nick I've never had sex with another man aside from you! How can you think of me that way?!"

I always say it's too much but right

reaches for me but I pull myself away from

out. I'm sorry.

I say

"Savannah please."

fuck out!"

I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me so straight into my face. I never thought he could think

my jaw dropped when I saw Tracy standing by the doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and troubled. I wonder how long she has

long did... You two..."

laughs humorlessly but I know she couldn't believe

thought you trust

"I'm sorry." I say.

only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this thing

I closed my eyes.

that Savannah."

going to court her

"No." Nick answers.

so quickly. Still

I sigh.

You

escaping from my

eyes Nick eagerly. "You're just

This is all he could

are you

please. It's okay." I

not okay Savannah! Do you hear yourself? He's my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this

love him Tracy." I cut her off and

parted

and

knows about how I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this but I love Nick. I'm still too

be mad that he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this kind of thing you

shake my head and cried cos it's

will come when he'll get tired of

sigh. "I don't know." I

know I ruined her Tracy."

You should've known better Nick. She's only eighteen and you're twenty four years old!

from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you but you still said yes to him. So don't get involve with our

them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear those words coming from their mouths. I feel so embarrassed cos it's because of

sex life. It's not yours. It's ours! We

hope and women will always fall first as you see now. You will not only ruin her but

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.