Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

to say I can also fuck

my breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot

do that cos

Don't give in Savannah. You're stronger

just admit to yourself that you're fucking jealous?! You get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get

am! Maybe I am jealous cos you kissed Aries! Now

right to know Nick. You and I

He laughs humorlessly.

fuck?" He asked

My eyes widened.

when he ate you? Was he bigger than I am? Did

Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face looking over to another direction and his jaws

You think I could go around sleep with other men?!" I asked

rueful. His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said to me. He just realized

may not have a label, but Nick I've never had sex with another man aside from you!

tears are falling more. He's crumpling my heart. He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right now it is ready too much that I can't seem to handle it. It's

me but I pull myself away from him.

I'm sorry.

out." I say as I looked

"Savannah please."

fuck out!" I yelled at

I wanted him to leave. I'm hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say

jaw dropped when I saw Tracy standing by the doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and troubled.

two..."

she couldn't

fucking each other around behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even

"I'm sorry." I say.

you. But you didn't listen. Now how long

I closed my eyes.

that Savannah."

least going to court her Nick?" She asked

"No." Nick answers.

He answered so quickly. Still no hesitation on his

I sigh.

just the same as Aries. You use women. I never thought

escaping from my eyes like a

just fucking her?

is all

were together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap? She deserves more than just to be your fuck girl!" Tracy raises

please. It's

a close friend now. I can't let him do

her off and my tears

parted

let him use me as much as he wants to and as long as he needs me cos

how I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this but I love Nick. I'm still

You should be stopping this.

and

when he'll get tired of you,

sigh. "I don't know."

know I ruined her Tracy."

She's only

If I fuck Savannah as much as I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you but you

embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear those words coming from their

Savannah's sex life. It's not yours. It's ours! We can do what we want

will hurt her Nick. You will give her false hope and women will always fall first as you see now. You will not only ruin her but you'll emotionally hurt

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.