Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

So you mean to say I can also fuck any woman I

together against my breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot of women

can't do that cos I only want you."

give in Savannah. You're stronger than

jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get jealous

Maybe I am jealous cos you kissed Aries! Now where did you go?!" His voice

You and I are not in a commitment."

He laughs humorlessly.

you go fuck?"

My eyes widened.

good? Was he better when he ate you? Was he bigger than

my hand up and palm landed on his cheek. I slapped Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face looking

kind of woman?! You think I could go

soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said

may not have a label, but Nick I've never had sex with

falling more. He's crumpling my heart. He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right now it is ready too

but I pull myself away from him. "Don't you dare think about touching

sorry. It just came out. I'm sorry. I didn't mean

say

"Savannah please."

the fuck out!"

wanted him to leave. I'm hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he could

We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and

did... You two..." Tracy seemed

she couldn't believe the things she

two have been fucking each other around behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't

"I'm sorry." I say.

from Nick cos he'll only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long

I closed my eyes.

that Savannah." Nick

least going to court her Nick?" She asked

"No." Nick answers.

He answered so quickly. Still no

I sigh.

You use women.

are escaping from my eyes like a

eagerly. "You're just fucking her? Just like

Yes. This is all he could give

stupid now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap? She deserves more than just to be your

please. It's okay."

a close friend now. I can't let him do

him Tracy." I cut her off and

lip parted in

much as he wants to and as long as he needs me cos

and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this

You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this

and cried cos it's

when he'll get

don't know."

I ruined

will. You should've known better Nick. She's only eighteen and you're twenty four years

didn't even stop you from getting

embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear those words coming

sex life. It's not yours. It's ours!

hurt her Nick. You will give her false hope and women will always fall first as you see now. You will not only

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.