Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

fuck any woman I want cos

lot of women

that cos

heart is melting. Don't give in Savannah. You're stronger

fucking jealous?! You get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous

cos you kissed Aries! Now where did

know Nick. You and I

He laughs humorlessly.

you go fuck?"

My eyes widened.

better when he ate you? Was he bigger than

on his cheek. I slapped Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out

think I'm that kind of woman?! You think I could

a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as

we may not have a label, but Nick I've never

crumpling my heart. He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right

pull myself away from

out. I'm sorry.

out." I say as I looked

"Savannah please."

fuck out!" I yelled at

never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me so straight

motioned to the door and my jaw dropped when I saw Tracy standing by the doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and troubled. I wonder how long she has been standing there. I wonder what were the

did... You two..." Tracy

know she couldn't believe the things she

I thought you trust me?! Why

"I'm sorry." I say.

hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now

I closed my eyes.

answer that

least going to court her Nick?" She asked

"No." Nick answers.

He answered so quickly. Still no

I sigh.

same as Aries. You use women. I never

are escaping from my

eagerly. "You're just fucking

Tracy. Yes. This is all he could give

me. I felt so stupid now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap? She

please. It's okay."

my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this to you! You're an

him Tracy." I cut her off and my tears are

parted in

much as he wants to and as long as he needs me cos I

shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this but I love Nick. I'm still too

pleasure. You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this kind of thing you have with Nick. It'll go nowhere."

and

he'll get tired of you, what's next?" She asks

sigh. "I don't

ruined her

Nick. She's only eighteen and you're twenty four years old!

I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you but

my hands. I'm so embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I

Savannah's sex life. It's not yours. It's ours! We can do what we want

give her false hope and women will always fall first as you see now. You will not only

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.