Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

So you mean to say I can also fuck any woman I

together against my breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot of women as much as you want to. I won't tell

can't do that cos I

give in Savannah. You're stronger than

just admit to yourself that you're fucking jealous?! You get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get jealous but you don't admit

am jealous cos you kissed Aries! Now where did you go?!" His

You

He laughs humorlessly.

go fuck?" He

My eyes widened.

good? Was he better when he ate you? Was he bigger than I am? Did he make

my hand up and palm landed on his cheek. I slapped Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face looking over to another direction and his

that kind of woman?! You think I could go around sleep with other men?!" I

His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell.

in a relationship and we may not have a label, but Nick I've never had sex with another man aside from you! How can you

much already. I always say it's

myself away from him. "Don't you dare think

I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm

I say

"Savannah please."

the fuck out!" I yelled at

other students were hearing us fight but I wanted him to leave. I'm hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me so straight into my face. I never thought he could think of

door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in.

You two..." Tracy seemed

she couldn't

other around behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even tell me anything

"I'm sorry." I say.

only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this

I closed my eyes.

answer that Savannah." Nick

to court her

"No." Nick answers.

so quickly. Still no hesitation on his

I sigh.

You're just the same as Aries. You use women. I never thought you could do

tears are escaping from my

Nick eagerly. "You're just fucking her? Just like

is all

so stupid now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap? She deserves more than just to be your fuck girl!" Tracy raises her

It's okay." I

He's my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this to you! You're an innocent girl. You're too innocent for him.

love him Tracy." I cut her off

lip parted

wants to and as long

Tracy looks at him as if she's asking him that he knows about how I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell

he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this kind of thing you have

and cried cos

when he'll get tired of you, what's next?" She asks

sigh. "I don't know." I answer

I ruined her Tracy."

known better Nick. She's only eighteen and you're twenty four years old!

stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for

my face with my hands. I'm so embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear those

Savannah's sex life. It's not yours. It's ours! We can do

will always fall first as you see now. You will not only ruin her

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.