Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

you mean to say I can also fuck

crossed my arms together against my breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot of women as

do that cos

Don't give

another man. You're jealous when you see me

am! Maybe I am jealous cos you kissed Aries!

to know Nick. You and I are

He laughs humorlessly.

go fuck?" He asked

My eyes widened.

ate you? Was he bigger than I am? Did he make you

up and palm landed on his cheek. I slapped Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down

kind of woman?! You think I could go around sleep with other men?!" I asked

and looks at me as if he was sorry. His eyes are rueful. His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think

in a relationship and we may not have a label, but Nick I've never

tears are falling more. He's crumpling my heart. He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right now it is

away from him. "Don't you dare think

sorry. It just came out. I'm sorry. I

out." I say as I

"Savannah please."

fuck out!" I

were hearing us fight but I wanted him to leave. I'm hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me so straight into my face. I

dropped when I saw Tracy standing by the doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and troubled. I wonder how long she has been

long did... You two..." Tracy seemed surprised

humorlessly but I know she couldn't believe

behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even tell me anything about this?!" Tracy's voice raising

"I'm sorry." I say.

from Nick cos he'll only hurt you.

I closed my eyes.

answer that Savannah."

you at least going to court

"No." Nick answers.

answered so quickly. Still

I sigh.

the same as Aries. You use women. I never thought you could do

tears are escaping from my

just fucking

This is all

after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap? She deserves more than just to be your fuck girl!"

please. It's okay." I

now. I can't let him

love him Tracy." I cut her off

parted

him use me as much as he wants to and as long as he needs me cos I love

seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so

are you doing this to yourself? You should be mad that he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this

head and cried

if that day will come when he'll get

don't

I ruined

should've known better Nick. She's only eighteen and you're twenty four years

us? As if we did something wrong. If I fuck Savannah as much as I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you but you still said yes to him. So don't get involve

so embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear

not yours. It's ours! We

always fall first as you see now. You will not

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.