Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

So you mean to say I can also fuck any woman I want cos you're also

a lot of women as much as you want to. I

know I can't do that cos I only

heart is melting. Don't give in Savannah. You're stronger than

get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get jealous but you don't admit it to yourself!"

am jealous cos you kissed Aries! Now where did you go?!"

the right to know Nick. You and I are not in

He laughs humorlessly.

fuck?" He

My eyes widened.

he fuck you good? Was he better when he ate you? Was he bigger than I am? Did he

pulled my hand up and palm landed on his cheek. I slapped Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming

woman?! You think I could go around sleep

gulps and looks at me as if he was sorry. His eyes are rueful. His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and

a label, but Nick I've never had sex with another man aside from you! How can you

I always say it's too much but right now it is ready too much that I can't seem to handle it.

away from him. "Don't you dare think about touching me."

out. I'm sorry. I

I say

"Savannah please."

the fuck out!" I

never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me so straight into my face. I never thought he could

doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and troubled. I wonder how long she has been

did... You two..." Tracy seemed surprised like

I know she

Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you

"I'm sorry." I say.

you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this thing been going

I closed my eyes.

that

at least going to court her Nick?"

"No." Nick answers.

Still no hesitation on his

I sigh.

same as Aries. You use women. I never thought

from my eyes like a

just

is all

are you really

please. It's okay." I

Savannah! Do you hear yourself? He's my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this to you! You're an innocent girl. You're too innocent for him. It's like he's treating you garbage

her off and my tears

lip parted in

much as he wants to and as long

looks at him as if she's asking him that he knows about how I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this but I love Nick. I'm still too in love to let

that he's using you for his own pleasure. You should

head and cried

if that day will come when he'll get tired of you, what's next?"

don't know." I answer

ruined

You should've known better Nick. She's only

we did something wrong. If I fuck Savannah as much as I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you

so embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear those words coming from their mouths. I feel so embarrassed

sex life, Tracy. It's Savannah's sex life. It's not yours. It's ours! We can do what we want cos we're

You will give her false hope and women will always fall first as you see now. You will not only ruin her

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.