Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

So you mean to say I can also fuck any woman I want cos you're also

lot of women

that cos I only want you." He

melting. Don't give

you just admit to yourself that you're fucking jealous?! You get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get jealous but you don't admit

I am jealous cos you kissed Aries! Now

You and I

He laughs humorlessly.

fuck?"

My eyes widened.

good? Was he better when he ate you? Was he bigger than I

Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face looking over

kind of woman?! You think I could go around sleep with

while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said to me. He just realized that he said too

together, we may not be in a relationship and we may not have a label, but Nick I've never had sex with another man aside from you! How can you think of me that

much already. I always say it's too much but right now it is ready

reaches for me but I pull myself away from him. "Don't you dare think about touching me." I

came out. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

I say as

"Savannah please."

the fuck out!" I yelled at

if other students were hearing us fight but I wanted him to leave. I'm hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me so straight into my face. I

saw Tracy standing by the doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and troubled. I wonder how long she has been

did... You two..." Tracy

I know she couldn't believe

around behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even tell me anything about this?!" Tracy's voice raising

"I'm sorry." I say.

you to stay away from Nick cos he'll only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long

I closed my eyes.

answer that Savannah." Nick

you at least going to court

"No." Nick answers.

quickly. Still

I sigh.

Nick. You're just the same as Aries. You

from my eyes like a

"You're just

is all

of you lied to me. I felt so stupid now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap? She deserves more than just to be

It's

not okay Savannah! Do you hear yourself? He's my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this to you! You're an innocent girl. You're too innocent for him. It's like he's treating you garbage

her off and

lip parted

me as much as he wants to and as long as he needs me cos I love

him as if she's asking him that he knows about how I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself.

you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this

my head and

when he'll get tired of you, what's next?" She

sigh. "I don't know."

I ruined her Tracy." Nick

better Nick. She's only eighteen and

if we did something wrong. If I fuck Savannah as much as I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you but

I'm so embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear those words coming from their mouths. I feel so embarrassed

It's Savannah's sex life. It's not yours. It's ours!

her false hope and women will always fall first as you see now. You

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.