Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

I can also fuck any woman I want cos you're also doing the

Be free. Fuck a lot of women as much as you want to. I won't tell

I can't do that cos I

is melting. Don't give in Savannah. You're

yourself that you're fucking jealous?! You get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me

am! Maybe I am jealous cos you

know Nick. You

He laughs humorlessly.

go fuck?" He asked

My eyes widened.

fuck you good? Was he better when he ate you? Was

hand up and palm landed on his cheek. I slapped Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face

You think I could go

looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said to me. He just realized that

Nick I've never had sex with another man aside from you! How can you

crumpling my heart. He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right now it

from him. "Don't you dare think about

sorry.

say as I

"Savannah please."

out!" I yelled

but I wanted him to leave. I'm hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me so straight into

shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone

long did... You two..." Tracy

she couldn't believe the

me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?!

"I'm sorry." I say.

save it. I told you to stay away from Nick cos he'll only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has

I closed my eyes.

that Savannah." Nick

going to

"No." Nick answers.

so quickly. Still no

I sigh.

just the same as Aries. You

escaping from my eyes like

eagerly. "You're just fucking her?

Yes. This is all

felt so stupid now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap? She deserves more than just to be your fuck

please. It's okay."

now. I can't let

cut her off and my tears are still

lip parted

much as he wants to and as long as he needs me cos

I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this but I love Nick. I'm still too in love

be mad that he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping

head and cried

that day will come when he'll get tired of you, what's next?"

"I don't

ruined

You should've known better Nick. She's only eighteen and you're twenty

I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you but you still said yes to him. So

of me. I don't want to hear those words coming from their mouths. I feel so embarrassed cos it's

Savannah's sex life. It's not yours. It's

give her false hope and women will always fall

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.