Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

can also fuck

together against my breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot of women as much as you

I can't do that cos I

give in Savannah. You're stronger than

fucking jealous?! You get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get jealous but you don't admit it to yourself!" I yelled

cos you kissed Aries! Now where did you

know Nick. You

He laughs humorlessly.

fuck?" He asked

My eyes widened.

he better when he ate you? Was he bigger than I

palm landed on his cheek. I slapped Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my

fucking think I'm that kind of woman?! You think I could go around sleep with

are rueful. His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said to me. He just

may not be in a relationship and we may not have a label, but Nick I've

He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right now it is ready too much that I can't seem to

for me but I pull myself away from him. "Don't

sorry. I didn't mean

I say as

"Savannah please."

out!" I yelled

but I wanted him to leave. I'm hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me so straight into my face. I never thought

and my jaw dropped when I saw Tracy standing by the doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and troubled. I

two..." Tracy seemed surprised like

I know she couldn't believe the

Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even tell me anything about this?!" Tracy's voice raising

"I'm sorry." I say.

away from Nick cos he'll only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how

I closed my eyes.

that

you at least going to court

"No." Nick answers.

so quickly. Still no hesitation on his

I sigh.

You're just the same as Aries. You use women. I never thought you could

are escaping from my

eyes Nick eagerly. "You're just

Yes. This is all he could give

together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap? She deserves more than just to be your fuck girl!"

please. It's okay." I

my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this to you! You're

Tracy." I cut her off and my

lip parted

let him use me as much as he wants to and as long as he

she's asking him that he knows about how I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this but I love Nick. I'm

using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping

my head and

that day will come when he'll get tired of you, what's next?" She

sigh. "I don't know."

know I ruined

will. You should've known better Nick. She's only eighteen and you're

want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I

of me. I don't want to

yours. It's ours! We can

and women will always fall first as you see now. You will not

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.