Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

mean to say I can also fuck any woman I want cos

breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot of women as much as you want to. I won't tell you

can't do that cos I only want you." He

Don't give in Savannah. You're stronger than

yourself that you're fucking jealous?! You get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone

jealous cos you kissed Aries! Now where did you go?!" His

know Nick. You and I

He laughs humorlessly.

fuck?"

My eyes widened.

Was he better when he ate you? Was he bigger than I am? Did he make you

up and palm landed on his cheek. I slapped Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face looking

I could go around sleep with

and looks at me as if he was sorry. His eyes are rueful. His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think

together, we may not be in a relationship and we may not have a label, but Nick I've never had sex with another man aside from you! How can you think of me that way?!" I yelled at

it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right now it is ready too much that I can't seem to handle

but I pull myself away from

It just came out. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm

out." I say as I

"Savannah please."

out!"

I wanted him to leave. I'm hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never

to the door and my jaw dropped when I saw Tracy standing by the doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked

two..."

humorlessly but I know she couldn't believe the things she

thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even

"I'm sorry." I say.

Nick cos he'll only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this thing been

I closed my eyes.

that

going to

"No." Nick answers.

so quickly. Still no hesitation on

I sigh.

the same as Aries. You use

tears are escaping from my eyes

just

This is

me. Both of you lied to me. I felt so stupid now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going

It's okay." I

Do you hear yourself? He's my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this to you! You're an innocent girl. You're too innocent for him.

love him Tracy." I cut her off and my tears are still falling

lip parted in

let him use me as much as he wants to and as long

about how I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this but I love Nick. I'm still too in love to let

be mad that he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this kind of thing you have with Nick.

my head and cried cos

if that day will come when he'll get tired

don't know." I

I ruined

Nick. She's only eighteen and

stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for

me. I

It's not yours.

will always fall first as you see now. You will not only ruin her but you'll

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.