Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

fuck any woman I

breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot of women as

do that cos

give in Savannah. You're stronger than

I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me

I am jealous cos you kissed Aries!

know Nick. You and I are not in a commitment." I

He laughs humorlessly.

fuck?" He

My eyes widened.

you? Was he bigger

pulled my hand up and palm landed on his cheek. I slapped Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face looking over to another

fucking think I'm that kind of woman?! You think I could go around sleep with other

sorry. His eyes are rueful. His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said to me. He just

label, but Nick I've never had sex

too much already. I always say it's too much but right now it is ready too much that I can't

for me but I pull myself away from him. "Don't you dare think about touching

out. I'm sorry. I didn't mean

I say as

"Savannah please."

the fuck out!"

I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me so straight into my face. I never thought

Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and troubled. I wonder how long she has been standing there. I wonder what were

You two..." Tracy

but I know she couldn't believe the things she

our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why

"I'm sorry." I say.

away from Nick cos he'll only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this thing been going on?"

I closed my eyes.

answer that Savannah."

at least going to court her Nick?" She asked

"No." Nick answers.

Still no hesitation on

I sigh.

as Aries. You use women. I never thought you could do

from my eyes

eagerly. "You're just fucking her? Just

This is all he could give

me. I felt so stupid now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap? She deserves more than just to be your fuck girl!" Tracy

It's okay."

You're a close friend now. I can't

I cut her off and my tears are

parted in

as he wants to and as long as he needs

and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I

he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this kind of thing you have with Nick. It'll go nowhere." She asks

and

come when he'll get tired of you, what's

"I don't

ruined her Tracy."

You should've known better Nick. She's

much as I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting

face with my hands. I'm so embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear those words coming from their mouths. I feel so

It's Savannah's sex life. It's not yours. It's ours! We can do what we want cos we're

always fall first as

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.