Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

really? So you mean to say I can also fuck any woman I want cos you're also doing

Be free. Fuck a lot of women as much as you want to. I won't tell you

that cos

is melting. Don't give in Savannah. You're stronger than

get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone

I am jealous cos you kissed

right to know Nick. You and I are not in a commitment." I

He laughs humorlessly.

you go fuck?" He asked

My eyes widened.

you? Was he bigger than I am? Did he make you scream?

Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on

I'm that kind of woman?! You think I could go around sleep with other men?!" I asked

His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips

label, but Nick I've never had sex with another man aside from you! How can

tears are falling more. He's crumpling my heart. He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right now it is ready too much that I

pull myself away from him.

came out. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

I say as

"Savannah please."

the fuck out!" I

could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me so straight into my face. I never thought he could

door and my jaw dropped when I saw Tracy standing by the doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and troubled. I wonder how long she has been standing there. I wonder what were the things

did... You two..." Tracy

I know she couldn't believe

around behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust

"I'm sorry." I say.

to stay away from Nick cos he'll only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this thing

I closed my eyes.

that Savannah." Nick

at least going to court

"No." Nick answers.

answered so quickly. Still no

I sigh.

unbelievable Nick. You're just the same as Aries. You use women.

are escaping from my

eyes Nick eagerly. "You're just fucking her? Just

Tracy. Yes. This is all he could

are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap?

It's

yourself? He's my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this to you! You're

love him Tracy." I cut her off and my tears

lip parted in

me as much as he wants to and as long

stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this

mad that he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping

shake my head and cried cos it's

get tired

sigh. "I don't know." I

ruined her Tracy." Nick

Nick. She's only eighteen and you're twenty four

I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you but you still

embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I

Savannah's sex life. It's not yours. It's ours! We can do

always fall first as you see now. You will not only ruin her but you'll emotionally

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.