Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

say I can also fuck

a lot of women as much

do that cos I only

is melting. Don't give in Savannah. You're stronger than

another man. You're jealous when you see me with

you kissed Aries! Now where did you go?!" His voice

know Nick. You

He laughs humorlessly.

fuck?"

My eyes widened.

he fuck you good? Was he better when he ate you? Was he bigger than I am? Did he make

his cheek. I slapped Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face looking over to another direction and his

fucking think I'm that kind of woman?! You think I could go around sleep with other

eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said to me. He

a label, but Nick I've never had sex

He's crumpling my heart. He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right now it is ready too much that I can't seem to handle it. It's

myself away from him. "Don't you dare think about

I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

I say as I looked

"Savannah please."

the fuck out!"

he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me so straight into my face. I never thought he could think of

was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked

long did... You two..." Tracy

she couldn't believe the things she

me?! Savannah I thought you

"I'm sorry." I say.

hurt you. But you

I closed my eyes.

answer that Savannah." Nick

at least going to court her

"No." Nick answers.

He answered so quickly. Still

I sigh.

You use women. I never

are escaping from my

"You're just fucking her?

Tracy. Yes. This is all he could give

those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap? She deserves more than just to be your fuck girl!" Tracy raises

It's okay."

my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do

cut her off and my tears are still

parted in

him use me as much as he wants to and as long as he needs me cos I love

him that he knows about how I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this but I love Nick. I'm still too in love to let go. Not now. Not

this to yourself? You should be mad that he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this

and

when he'll get tired of you, what's

don't know." I

ruined

did. You will. You should've known better Nick. She's only eighteen and you're

it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you

them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear those words coming

It's Savannah's sex life. It's not yours. It's ours! We can do what

and women will always fall first as you see now. You will not only ruin her

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.