Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

fuck any woman I want

my breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot of women as

cos I only want you." He

is melting. Don't give in Savannah. You're stronger than

yourself that you're fucking jealous?! You get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get jealous

am! Maybe I am jealous cos you kissed Aries! Now where did

know Nick. You and I

He laughs humorlessly.

you go fuck?" He

My eyes widened.

when he ate you? Was he

him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it

fucking think I'm that kind of woman?! You think I could

eyes are rueful. His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said to me. He just

relationship and we may not have a label, but Nick I've never had sex with another man aside from you!

heart. He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right now it is ready too much that I can't

but I pull myself away from him. "Don't you dare think

I'm sorry. I

I say as I

"Savannah please."

out!"

hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me so straight into my face. I never thought he could think of me

saw Tracy standing by the doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at

two..." Tracy seemed

she couldn't believe the things

Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why

"I'm sorry." I say.

you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this thing been

I closed my eyes.

that Savannah." Nick

least going to court

"No." Nick answers.

answered so quickly. Still no hesitation

I sigh.

Aries. You use women. I never thought you

escaping from my eyes like a

eyes Nick eagerly. "You're just

Yes. This is

those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to

It's

my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this to you!

love him Tracy." I cut her off and

parted

me as much as he wants to and as long as he

looks at him as if she's asking him that he knows about how I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel

doing this to yourself? You should be mad that he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this kind of thing you have with Nick.

and cried cos it's

will come when he'll get tired of you, what's next?"

don't know." I

know I ruined

Nick. She's only eighteen and you're twenty four years

As if we did something wrong. If I fuck Savannah as much as I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you but you still said yes to him. So don't get involve with

I don't want to hear those words coming from their mouths. I feel so embarrassed cos it's because of

sex life. It's not yours. It's ours!

always fall first as

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.