Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

to say I can also fuck any woman I want cos you're

Be free. Fuck a lot of women as much

cos

melting. Don't give in

jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get

I am! Maybe I am jealous cos you kissed

have the right to know Nick. You and I

He laughs humorlessly.

go fuck?"

My eyes widened.

you good? Was he better when he ate you? Was he

landed on his cheek. I slapped Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming

of woman?! You think I could go around

gulps and looks at me as if he was sorry. His eyes are rueful. His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said to me. He just realized that he

not be in a relationship and we may not have a label, but Nick I've never had sex with another man

tears are falling more. He's crumpling my heart. He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right now it is ready too much

pull myself away from him. "Don't you

out. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm really

I say as

"Savannah please."

fuck out!" I yelled

hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me so straight into my face. I

Tracy standing by the doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and troubled. I wonder how long she has been standing there. I wonder what were

two..." Tracy

humorlessly but I know she couldn't believe the things

around behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even tell me anything about this?!"

"I'm sorry." I say.

he'll only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this

I closed my eyes.

that Savannah."

to court her Nick?" She asked

"No." Nick answers.

so quickly. Still

I sigh.

You

from my eyes

eyes Nick eagerly. "You're just fucking

Yes. This is all he could

lied to me. Both of you lied to me. I felt so stupid now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you

please. It's okay."

I can't let him do this to you! You're an innocent girl. You're

Tracy." I cut her off and my tears are still

parted

as he wants to and as long as he needs me cos I love him."

his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel

doing this to yourself? You should be mad that he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this kind of thing you have with Nick. It'll go nowhere." She asks

shake my head and cried

will come when he'll get tired of you, what's next?" She asks

sigh. "I don't know." I

know I ruined her

You should've known better Nick. She's only eighteen

stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you but you still said yes to him. So don't get involve with our shit. It's not your goddamn

me. I don't want to hear those words coming

life, Tracy. It's Savannah's sex life. It's not yours. It's ours! We

You will give her false hope and women will always fall first as you see now. You will

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.