Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

really? So you mean to say I can also fuck any woman I want cos you're also

together against my breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot

I can't do that cos I only want you."

Don't give in Savannah. You're stronger

with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get jealous but you don't admit

am! Maybe I am jealous cos you

You and I are not in a commitment." I

He laughs humorlessly.

go fuck?" He asked

My eyes widened.

ate you? Was he bigger than I am? Did he make

hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face looking over to another

think I

looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said to me. He just realized that

may not be in a relationship and we may not have a label, but Nick I've never had sex with another man

are falling more. He's crumpling my heart. He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right now it is ready too

but I pull myself away from him.

just came out. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

I say as I looked

"Savannah please."

the fuck out!" I yelled

fight but I wanted him to leave. I'm hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me

We didn't notice that

did... You two..." Tracy seemed surprised

she couldn't believe the things she

around behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why

"I'm sorry." I say.

to stay away from Nick cos he'll only hurt you. But you

I closed my eyes.

answer that Savannah."

at least going to court

"No." Nick answers.

answered so quickly. Still no hesitation on his

I sigh.

unbelievable Nick. You're just the same as Aries. You use women. I never

escaping from my eyes

"You're just fucking her? Just like

This is all he could give

felt so stupid now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap? She deserves more than just to be your fuck girl!" Tracy

please. It's okay."

now. I can't let him do this to you! You're an innocent girl. You're too innocent for him. It's

Tracy." I cut her off and my

lip parted

much as he wants to and as long as

about how I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head.

yourself? You should be mad that he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this kind of thing you have with Nick. It'll go nowhere." She asks

head and cried cos it's

get tired of you,

"I don't know." I

know I ruined her

Nick. She's only

didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you but you still said yes to him. So

my face with my hands. I'm so embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I don't want

sex life. It's not yours. It's ours!

will always fall first as you see now. You will not only ruin

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.