Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

also fuck any woman I

against my breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot of women as much as you want to. I won't tell you to

can't do that cos I only

heart is melting. Don't give in Savannah. You're stronger than

you're fucking jealous?! You get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone

you kissed Aries! Now

You and I are not in a commitment."

He laughs humorlessly.

you go fuck?" He

My eyes widened.

you good? Was he better when he ate you? Was

slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face looking over to another direction and his

I'm that kind of woman?! You think I could

me as if he was sorry. His eyes are rueful. His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he

we may not be in a relationship and we may not have a label, but Nick I've never had sex with another man aside from you! How can you think of me that way?!" I yelled at

He's crumpling my heart. He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right now it is ready too much that I can't seem to handle it. It's out

for me but I pull myself away from him. "Don't you dare

came out. I'm sorry. I didn't

say as I looked

"Savannah please."

fuck out!" I yelled

never imagined he could tell me

and my jaw dropped when I saw Tracy standing by the doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that

You two..." Tracy

I know she couldn't believe the things she

other around behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even tell me

"I'm sorry." I say.

cos he'll only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this

I closed my eyes.

answer that Savannah." Nick

least going to court her Nick?" She asked

"No." Nick answers.

He answered so quickly. Still no

I sigh.

You use women. I never

tears are escaping from my eyes like

eyes Nick eagerly. "You're just fucking her? Just like

Tracy. Yes. This is all

after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating

please. It's okay."

Savannah! Do you hear yourself? He's my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this to you! You're an innocent girl. You're too innocent for him. It's like he's treating you

off and my tears are still

parted

to and as long as he needs

shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I

his own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this kind of thing you have with Nick.

my head and cried cos it's

day will come when he'll get tired of you, what's

"I don't know."

I ruined her Tracy."

better Nick. She's only eighteen and you're twenty

If I fuck Savannah as much as I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you

my hands. I'm so embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear those words coming from their mouths.

not yours. It's ours! We can do what we want cos

You will give her false hope and women will always fall first as you see

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.