Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

So you mean to say I can also fuck any woman I want cos you're

crossed my arms together against my breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot

know I can't do that cos I only want you."

melting. Don't give in Savannah. You're stronger than

man. You're jealous when you see me with

am jealous cos you kissed Aries! Now where did you go?!" His voice

Nick. You and I

He laughs humorlessly.

go fuck?" He

My eyes widened.

when he ate you? Was he bigger than I am? Did

Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down

that kind of woman?! You think I

a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said to me. He just realized

Nick I've never had sex with another

He's crumpling my heart. He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right now

away from him. "Don't you dare think about touching me."

sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm really

out." I say

"Savannah please."

fuck out!" I yelled at

could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me so straight into my face.

doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us

long did... You two..." Tracy

humorlessly but I know she couldn't believe the things

our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even tell me

"I'm sorry." I say.

save it. I told you to stay away from Nick cos he'll only hurt you. But you didn't

I closed my eyes.

that Savannah." Nick

least going to court her Nick?" She

"No." Nick answers.

answered so quickly. Still

I sigh.

as Aries. You use women. I never thought you could

escaping from my

eyes Nick eagerly. "You're just fucking her?

Yes. This is all he could

of you lied to me. I felt so stupid now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to

It's okay."

He's my brother. You're my roommate. You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this to you! You're an innocent girl. You're too innocent for him. It's like he's treating you

off and my

parted in

as much as he wants to and as long as he needs me

knows about how I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this but I love Nick. I'm still

should be mad that he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping this.

shake my head and

will come when he'll get

"I don't know." I answer

ruined her Tracy." Nick

did. You will. You should've known better Nick. She's only

as much as I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship with Clyde

with my hands. I'm so embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear those words coming from their mouths. I feel so embarrassed cos it's because

life. It's not yours. It's ours! We can do what we want

and women will always fall first as you

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.