Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

mean to say I can also fuck any woman I want cos you're also

Fuck a lot of women as much as you want

cos I only want you." He

give in Savannah. You're stronger

to yourself that you're fucking jealous?! You get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous

you

don't have the right to know Nick. You and I

He laughs humorlessly.

go fuck?" He

My eyes widened.

he better when he ate you? Was he bigger than I am? Did

my hand up and palm landed on his cheek. I slapped Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls

think I could go around sleep with

a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said to me. He just realized that

but Nick I've never

it's too much but right now

myself away from him. "Don't you dare think about touching me."

sorry. It just came out. I'm sorry. I didn't mean

out." I say as

"Savannah please."

the fuck out!"

I've never imagined he could tell me that.

shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and troubled. I wonder how long

You two..." Tracy seemed

I know she couldn't believe the things

fucking each other around behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even tell me anything about

"I'm sorry." I say.

he'll only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this thing been going on?" Tracy

I closed my eyes.

answer that Savannah."

at least going to court

"No." Nick answers.

Still no hesitation on

I sigh.

Aries. You use women. I never thought

are escaping from my eyes like

eyes Nick eagerly. "You're just

Tracy. Yes. This is

lied to me. I felt so stupid now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap? She deserves more

It's okay." I

You're a close friend now. I can't let him do this

love him Tracy." I cut her off and my tears are still falling and

lip parted in

let him use me as much as he wants to and as long as he

I feel and his stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this but

yourself? You should be mad that he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be

my head and cried cos it's

if that day will come when he'll get tired of you, what's

don't know." I

I ruined her Tracy."

Nick. She's only eighteen and you're twenty

from getting into a relationship with Clyde and you know I don't like him for you but you still said yes to

my face with my hands. I'm so embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I

my sex life, Tracy. It's Savannah's sex life. It's not yours. It's

will always fall first as you see now. You

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.