Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

mean to say I can also fuck any woman I want cos you're also doing

"Go. Be free. Fuck a lot of women

I can't do that cos I only want

is melting. Don't give in Savannah. You're

you're fucking jealous?! You get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get jealous but you don't admit it to

am! Maybe I am jealous cos you kissed Aries! Now where

Nick. You and I are not in a commitment." I

He laughs humorlessly.

you go fuck?" He asked

My eyes widened.

fuck you good? Was he better when he ate you? Was he bigger than I am?

Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on

that kind of woman?! You think I could go

eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I

have a label, but Nick I've never had sex

say it's too much but right now

pull myself away from him. "Don't you dare think about

just came out. I'm sorry. I didn't

out." I say as

"Savannah please."

fuck out!" I

care if other students were hearing us fight but I wanted him to leave. I'm hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined

when I saw Tracy standing by the doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and troubled. I wonder how long she has been standing there. I wonder

You two..."

I know she couldn't believe the things

our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust

"I'm sorry." I say.

stay away from Nick cos he'll only hurt you.

I closed my eyes.

answer that Savannah." Nick

going to court

"No." Nick answers.

so quickly. Still no hesitation on

I sigh.

the same as Aries. You use

from my eyes like a

eagerly. "You're just fucking her?

Yes. This is all

Nick are you really going

It's

friend now. I can't

off and my tears are still

lip parted

as he wants to and as long as he

stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this but I love

should be mad that he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this kind of thing you have

my head and cried cos

will come when he'll get tired of you, what's next?" She asks

don't know."

know I ruined her Tracy." Nick

You should've known better Nick. She's only eighteen and you're twenty four years old!

If I fuck Savannah as much as I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from getting into a relationship

my face with my hands. I'm so embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear

Savannah's sex life. It's not yours. It's

and women will always fall first as you see now. You will not only ruin her but you'll emotionally hurt

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.