Love Aint Always Pretty

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

I can also fuck any woman I want cos

a lot

do that cos I only want you." He

heart is melting. Don't give in Savannah. You're

get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get jealous but you don't admit it to yourself!" I yelled

am jealous cos you kissed Aries! Now where did

You and I are not in a commitment." I

He laughs humorlessly.

you go fuck?" He asked

My eyes widened.

when he ate you? Was

cheek. I slapped Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face looking over to another direction and his jaws

fucking think I'm that kind of woman?! You think I could go around sleep with other men?!"

ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said to me. He just realized

we may not be in a relationship and we may not have a label, but Nick I've never had sex with another man aside from you! How can you think of me that way?!" I yelled at

it's too much

myself away from him. "Don't you dare

sorry. I didn't mean

out." I say as I

"Savannah please."

out!" I

he could tell me that. I never imagined he

the doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice

long did... You two..." Tracy seemed

but I know she

been fucking each other around behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even tell me anything about

"I'm sorry." I say.

save it. I told you to stay away from Nick cos he'll only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this thing

I closed my eyes.

that Savannah." Nick

least going to court her Nick?" She asked

"No." Nick answers.

so quickly. Still no hesitation

I sigh.

just the same as Aries. You use women. I

are escaping from my

eagerly. "You're just fucking her? Just

is all he could

to me. I felt so stupid now after all those times we were together. God Nick are you really going to keep on treating Savannah this cheap? She deserves

It's okay."

can't let him do this to you! You're an innocent girl. You're too innocent for him. It's like

him Tracy." I cut her off and my tears are still falling and

parted

let him use me as much as he wants to and as long

stares seemed to answer her question. Tracy shakes her head. I feel so low of myself. I tell myself I don't deserve this

should be mad that he's using you for his own pleasure. You should be stopping this. You shouldn't agree to this kind of thing you have with Nick. It'll go

head and cried cos it's

get tired of

"I don't know." I answer

ruined her

did. You will. You should've known better Nick. She's only eighteen and you're twenty

If I fuck Savannah as much as I want to, it's our choice. She's letting me do it anyways. I didn't even stop you from

I'm so embarrassed. I don't want them to fight because of me. I don't want to hear those words coming

It's not yours. It's ours! We can do

false hope and women will always fall first as you see now.

I'm sobbing.

I'm crying.