Love Aint Always Pretty

Chapter 50: 50 Panimalos

Panimalos

Translation: revenge

Origin: Cebuano

50

"Trace?" I called out to her.

She sits on her bed as she looks back at me. Tracy was busy putting on her ankle boots, getting ready for another night out.

"You haven't talked to me for three days now since that night. I'm really sorry." I say.

She exhales. "I'm not mad at you Savannah. I'm mad at Nick."

I walked to Tracy and sat down right next to her. "You still haven't talked to him?"

"I did. The other day. I'm hurting for you too. When you told me you loved my brother, I just wanted to hold you cos he will only hurt you Savannah. He could never be giving you back that kind of love you feel for him." Tracy tells me.

I sigh.

"But I know that no matter how I tell you to stop with whatever you have with him, you won't listen to me." She added.

I smiled at her ruefully.

"Do you really love him?" She asks.

"Yeah." I answered softly.

Tracy hugs me tight right away as if she knows my pain. As if she had felt this kind of pain before. She rubs my back slowly and I wrapped my arms around her. Tracy was like an older sister to me and she treats me well.

"I love him so much Tracy... that I would do anything for him. I'll sacrifice everything for him even though it already hurts. I'll try to deal with the pain. I'll try to be strong for myself." I cried on her shoulder.

"Oh Savannah. I just couldn't stand seeing you getting hurt over Nick. I told you he's not capable of loving someone new anymore. The best advice I could give you is to give up what you feel for Nick. I'm sorry for being so blunt but I'm your friend. I need to tell it straight to your face that what you have with him will lead to nowhere. Why'd you even allow yourself to get involve?" She asks.

"I thought I could handle it. But it's gotten out of control. And right now I.." I answered.

I sigh heavily.

"I just need him. He makes me feel special." I said weakly.

She pulled herself away from me and wiped my tears. "Come with me. I'm going out and you need to party. At least have fun just for one night."

"Where?"

"The frat house."

I shake my head. "After that night, I haven't talked to Nick. I don't think I'm ready to face him."

"Don't worry. Nick isn't around today. He said he left for the weekend."

My brows creasing. "Where he went to?"

"I don't know. He didn't say."

I exhale. Here I go again, looking for him when he's not around. Here I go again, wondering where he might could've been by now. And here I go again, thinking that he's with Catherine by now, spending his weekend with her.

"So he's not gonna be there?" I asked.

She nods.

"Why are you avoiding Nick?" She asked.

"I don't know. I just feel the need to avoid him cos I thought you were so mad at me." I say.

Tracy smiled. "I'm not. I really wanna help you with Nick cos--"

"Don't. I know he's not gonna fall for me. I couldn't compete with Catherine and for the past eight years she's all he thinks about. I couldn't change that." I say.

She pushes my hair behind my ear.

"When are you gonna stop?" She asks.

"Once I've had enough." I say.

Tracy stands and pulls me up. "Let's stop being so melodramatic and head to the party. Shall we?"

I smile.

stereo. My mind is still thinking about where Nick could be. We haven't had a formal conversation after we fought that night and I haven't seen him around too. I always worry when I don't see him cos it just means he's with Catherine and I always get mad at myself cos no matter how hard I try to convince my mind and my heart not to get jealous I always end

hear

at

huh?" He pulls my chin

I'm just tired. I need to party. I

been a massive

it was a Margarita cos it was what I drank when

you take margaritas now too. You know what, let's

coughed. "God I needed

about we

I nod.

onto my waist while I was grinding on him.

to give him up. I know for myself I should give him up. I just don't know when and how to give him up. I don't know how to let him go. It's not

in time, I'll get use to this pain but for how long am I

still dancing with Aries. I'm enjoying. I'm having fun. I'm forgetting a little bit. Though Nick sometimes crosses my mind. The margarita is getting into my

wild

a side of me

my cheek. "I

everyone

gazed at

was. I say down right next to Tracy

to play as well."

for truth or dare." Penny says to us with a

you playing?" I asked

Clyde won't let me. Nick told him

"Okay.

Romeo calls out everyone's attention who'd still want to join our

a drink and I accepted it then

"I'll play."

Holy shit no.

I stared at each other eagerly in synch. He was sitting down

he doing here?" I whisper to Tracy who looked shocked as

idea why he's

you weren't around today."

Nick didn't answer her.

the game shall we?" Romeo asked

"How about...." Penny trails.

moved to

play I Never."

that game? I

while since we haven't played that game. It's gonna be so much fun for sure."

play with them." Tracy tell me

Tracy. Savannah already joined." Penny

and they all seemed to agree

not playing."

Nick come on it's gonna be fun. Don't

gonna play." I said, challenging

play it?" I stared at Nick for two

her head

calls out my attention so

me

circle has done it, they take off a layer

This is childish but

sort of a little bit of a mixture of spin the bottle." Romeo

me not to join and

pussy Jamie Sullivan." Penny teases

at her. "I'm not.

joining then." Nick

then took a drink from my cup. I'm nervous as fuck. I've never tried this game. I've never played this

this way. Alright?" Romeo says as he motions his finger

Everyone cheers and agrees.

fucked in a community shower before." Romeo

laughing and teasing Romeo like it was some kind of ritual needed to

Shit.

Nick started taking off his black leather jacket.

from being naked while

this week." One girl

off my belt alongside with the others. Nick

this

head and all the other females were squealing. Ugh, I know he's hot. Stop drooling over what's mine. I stared at Penny, who was already left wearing her red bra and mini skirt on. I hate how she touches Nick's chest

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