Love Aint Always Pretty

Chapter 50: 50 Panimalos

Panimalos

Translation: revenge

Origin: Cebuano

50

"Trace?" I called out to her.

She sits on her bed as she looks back at me. Tracy was busy putting on her ankle boots, getting ready for another night out.

"You haven't talked to me for three days now since that night. I'm really sorry." I say.

She exhales. "I'm not mad at you Savannah. I'm mad at Nick."

I walked to Tracy and sat down right next to her. "You still haven't talked to him?"

"I did. The other day. I'm hurting for you too. When you told me you loved my brother, I just wanted to hold you cos he will only hurt you Savannah. He could never be giving you back that kind of love you feel for him." Tracy tells me.

I sigh.

"But I know that no matter how I tell you to stop with whatever you have with him, you won't listen to me." She added.

I smiled at her ruefully.

"Do you really love him?" She asks.

"Yeah." I answered softly.

Tracy hugs me tight right away as if she knows my pain. As if she had felt this kind of pain before. She rubs my back slowly and I wrapped my arms around her. Tracy was like an older sister to me and she treats me well.

"I love him so much Tracy... that I would do anything for him. I'll sacrifice everything for him even though it already hurts. I'll try to deal with the pain. I'll try to be strong for myself." I cried on her shoulder.

"Oh Savannah. I just couldn't stand seeing you getting hurt over Nick. I told you he's not capable of loving someone new anymore. The best advice I could give you is to give up what you feel for Nick. I'm sorry for being so blunt but I'm your friend. I need to tell it straight to your face that what you have with him will lead to nowhere. Why'd you even allow yourself to get involve?" She asks.

"I thought I could handle it. But it's gotten out of control. And right now I.." I answered.

I sigh heavily.

"I just need him. He makes me feel special." I said weakly.

She pulled herself away from me and wiped my tears. "Come with me. I'm going out and you need to party. At least have fun just for one night."

"Where?"

"The frat house."

I shake my head. "After that night, I haven't talked to Nick. I don't think I'm ready to face him."

"Don't worry. Nick isn't around today. He said he left for the weekend."

My brows creasing. "Where he went to?"

"I don't know. He didn't say."

I exhale. Here I go again, looking for him when he's not around. Here I go again, wondering where he might could've been by now. And here I go again, thinking that he's with Catherine by now, spending his weekend with her.

"So he's not gonna be there?" I asked.

She nods.

"Why are you avoiding Nick?" She asked.

"I don't know. I just feel the need to avoid him cos I thought you were so mad at me." I say.

Tracy smiled. "I'm not. I really wanna help you with Nick cos--"

"Don't. I know he's not gonna fall for me. I couldn't compete with Catherine and for the past eight years she's all he thinks about. I couldn't change that." I say.

She pushes my hair behind my ear.

"When are you gonna stop?" She asks.

"Once I've had enough." I say.

Tracy stands and pulls me up. "Let's stop being so melodramatic and head to the party. Shall we?"

I smile.

singing to this Drake song on the stereo. My mind is still thinking about where Nick could be. We haven't had a formal conversation after we fought that night and I haven't seen him around too. I always worry when I don't see him cos it just means he's with Catherine and I always get mad at myself cos no matter how hard I try to convince my mind and my heart not to get jealous I

I hear

smiled at him.

with that look huh?"

I'm just tired. I need to

a massive

drank when Nick snatched it from my hand when a guy offered it to me. I squint my eyes and feel my throat

too. You know what, let's take it

"God I

we

I nod.

holding onto my waist while I was grinding on him. I don't care

that is close to Nick tells me to give him up. I know for myself I should give him up. I just don't know when and

time, I'll get use to this pain but for how long am

I'm forgetting a little bit. Though Nick sometimes crosses my mind. The margarita is getting into my system. I'm feeling a little bit free and wild. I sprawled my arms around Aries' shoulders, wrapping it around his neck

so wild tonight." He

side

cheek. "I

sit and everyone was getting ready for the spin the bottle. "Let's join

gazed at

of us headed to where everyone was. I say down right next to Tracy while Aries was

going to play as

on time for truth or dare." Penny says to us

playing?"

told him to babysit me." Tracy

grinned. "Okay.

out everyone's attention who'd still want

accepted it then took a

"I'll play."

Holy shit no.

and saw Nick joining us on the couch. Tracy and I stared at each other eagerly in synch. He was sitting down right across me. His usual spot,

whisper to Tracy who looked

don't know. I have no idea why he's here.

thought you weren't

Nick didn't answer her.

game shall we?" Romeo

"How about...." Penny trails.

eyes moved to

I

that game?

game. It's

play with them." Tracy tell me

backing out of players Tracy. Savannah already joined." Penny arched

and they all seemed

playing." Nick

gonna be fun. Don't be a party pooper."

play."

do you play it?" I stared at Nick

moved her head to

Savannah." Romeo calls out my attention so I turned

who's giving me a

saying something that we have never ever done before, and if any other person in the circle has done it, they take

This is childish

of a little bit of a mixture of spin the

join and Nick

pussy

her. "I'm

then." Nick

I'm nervous as fuck. I've never tried this game. I've never played this game ever in my

The rotation goes this way. Alright?" Romeo says

Everyone cheers and agrees.

fucked in a community shower before." Romeo says as

laughing and teasing Romeo like it was some kind of ritual needed to be done

Shit.

off his black leather jacket. I glanced at Alec and he was smiling at himself. Aries took off something from him too and so

naked while the others were already

this week." One

belt alongside with the others.

never licked a pussy this week." One man

my eye, Nick is starting to pull off his shirt from his head and all the other females were squealing. Ugh, I know he's hot. Stop drooling over what's mine. I stared at

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