Love Aint Always Pretty

Chapter 50: 50 Panimalos

Panimalos

Translation: revenge

Origin: Cebuano

50

"Trace?" I called out to her.

She sits on her bed as she looks back at me. Tracy was busy putting on her ankle boots, getting ready for another night out.

"You haven't talked to me for three days now since that night. I'm really sorry." I say.

She exhales. "I'm not mad at you Savannah. I'm mad at Nick."

I walked to Tracy and sat down right next to her. "You still haven't talked to him?"

"I did. The other day. I'm hurting for you too. When you told me you loved my brother, I just wanted to hold you cos he will only hurt you Savannah. He could never be giving you back that kind of love you feel for him." Tracy tells me.

I sigh.

"But I know that no matter how I tell you to stop with whatever you have with him, you won't listen to me." She added.

I smiled at her ruefully.

"Do you really love him?" She asks.

"Yeah." I answered softly.

Tracy hugs me tight right away as if she knows my pain. As if she had felt this kind of pain before. She rubs my back slowly and I wrapped my arms around her. Tracy was like an older sister to me and she treats me well.

"I love him so much Tracy... that I would do anything for him. I'll sacrifice everything for him even though it already hurts. I'll try to deal with the pain. I'll try to be strong for myself." I cried on her shoulder.

"Oh Savannah. I just couldn't stand seeing you getting hurt over Nick. I told you he's not capable of loving someone new anymore. The best advice I could give you is to give up what you feel for Nick. I'm sorry for being so blunt but I'm your friend. I need to tell it straight to your face that what you have with him will lead to nowhere. Why'd you even allow yourself to get involve?" She asks.

"I thought I could handle it. But it's gotten out of control. And right now I.." I answered.

I sigh heavily.

"I just need him. He makes me feel special." I said weakly.

She pulled herself away from me and wiped my tears. "Come with me. I'm going out and you need to party. At least have fun just for one night."

"Where?"

"The frat house."

I shake my head. "After that night, I haven't talked to Nick. I don't think I'm ready to face him."

"Don't worry. Nick isn't around today. He said he left for the weekend."

My brows creasing. "Where he went to?"

"I don't know. He didn't say."

I exhale. Here I go again, looking for him when he's not around. Here I go again, wondering where he might could've been by now. And here I go again, thinking that he's with Catherine by now, spending his weekend with her.

"So he's not gonna be there?" I asked.

She nods.

"Why are you avoiding Nick?" She asked.

"I don't know. I just feel the need to avoid him cos I thought you were so mad at me." I say.

Tracy smiled. "I'm not. I really wanna help you with Nick cos--"

"Don't. I know he's not gonna fall for me. I couldn't compete with Catherine and for the past eight years she's all he thinks about. I couldn't change that." I say.

She pushes my hair behind my ear.

"When are you gonna stop?" She asks.

"Once I've had enough." I say.

Tracy stands and pulls me up. "Let's stop being so melodramatic and head to the party. Shall we?"

I smile.

I was just quiet while the others were singing to this Drake song on the stereo. My mind is still thinking about where Nick could be. We haven't had a formal conversation after we fought that night and I haven't seen him around too. I always worry when I

hear Aries

at him.

huh?"

need

a massive drinker

Margarita from his hand and drank it all. I know it was a Margarita cos it was what I drank when Nick snatched it from my hand when a guy offered it to me. I squint my eyes

take margaritas now too. You know what, let's take it easy.

coughed. "God I

we dance?" He

I nod.

we were dancing to this wicked beat being played by the DJ. The streaks of red and blue were hitting on our faces. I feel Aries' hand holding onto my waist while I was grinding on him. I don't care who was watching. I don't care who will

know for myself I should give him up. I just don't know when and how to give him up. I don't know how to let him go.

for how long am I gonna be a fool

sometimes crosses my mind. The margarita is

so wild tonight."

a side of me nobody

cheek. "I

gazed at the couch where we'd usually sit and everyone

at

to where everyone was. I say down right next to

going to play as

for truth or dare." Penny says to

playing?" I

me. Nick told him to babysit me." Tracy

grinned. "Okay. I'm

in here?" Romeo calls out everyone's attention who'd still want to join

and I accepted it then

"I'll play."

Holy shit no.

joining us on the couch. Tracy and I stared at each other eagerly in

whisper to Tracy who looked shocked as

know. I have no idea why he's here. He said he's not

I thought you

Nick didn't answer her.

start the game shall

"How about...." Penny trails.

eyes moved to

I Never."

game?

been a while since we haven't played that game. It's gonna be so much

play with them." Tracy tell me

players Tracy. Savannah already

on the couches and they all seemed to

playing."

it's gonna be fun. Don't be

"I'm gonna play." I said, challenging

play it?" I stared at

moved her head to

my

who's giving me a death

something that we have never ever done before, and if any other person in the circle has done it, they take off a layer of clothing. If you refuse to take

is childish

bit of a mixture of spin the bottle."

me not to join and Nick was giving

you're not getting pussy Jamie Sullivan."

at her. "I'm not.

then." Nick

I'm nervous as fuck. I've never tried this game. I've never played this

rotation goes this way. Alright?" Romeo says as he motions his

Everyone cheers and agrees.

fucked in a community shower before."

was some kind of ritual needed to be

Shit.

Nick is looking at me and I'm looking back. I started taking off my blazer and Nick started taking off his black

being naked while the others were already on their way

had sex this week."

exhale and started taking off my belt alongside with the others. Nick started taking off his

licked a pussy this

and laughing even louder at the wimpy looking man while the other males started taking off another layer from their clothing. Some were already shirtless and were left with their boxers on. From the corner of my eye, Nick is starting to pull off his shirt from his head and all the other females were squealing. Ugh, I know he's hot. Stop drooling over what's mine. I stared at Penny, who was already left wearing her red bra and mini skirt on. I hate how she touches Nick's chest like that.

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