Love Aint Always Pretty

Sarang (사랑)

- (n.) love; lit. "I wish to be with you until death."

Origin: Korean

46

NICK'S POV

EIGHT YEARS AGO

I parked the car and we got back home to where we should be. This was our home, temporarily, but we'll find a place to call our own when we have the money. Maybe just an apartment or stuff like that. The party wasn't what we exactly expected it to be.

"I'm sorry." Catherine speaks to me.

I opened the front door for her and we got inside the house. I placed the car keys down and starts unbuttoning my jeans.

"You don't have to be sorry." I say.

All of a sudden she hugged me from behind. "I'm sorry about what my father said to you. He just went too far."

I exhale.

"Why didn't you tell me about Hans? You're still together?" I asked her

I feel her arms slightly pulling away from me. I know she's guilty of what I found out. I don't know if they were still together or not but I'm so jealous. I'm so mad. I'm not mad at Catherine but I'm mad at myself cos I'm not good enough for her. Mr. Forster was right, I could never top that guy cos he looked almost perfect.

"Nick I don't love him. My parents just wants me to be with him for business."

I turned around to face her. Her beautiful blue eyes was looking at me eagerly, as if they were speaking to me too. I know she's telling the truth. I know she loves me.

"I just feel so small of myself after I saw him. I'm not.... I'm not good enough for you. Did you see the way he looks?" I asked.

"I don't care if his wallet is bulging with money or has plenty of credit cards. I don't need that. I don't need money. I need you."

I kissed her forehead and slightly hugged her. "Let's go to sleep Catherine. I'm tired and I'm sure you are too."

We headed to the bedroom and started sleeping in our underwear. I let Catherine sleep over my bare chest, while my mind was still thinking about Hans. I couldn't sleep. I look at Catherine and her face makes me feel I don't belong on her world and she clearly doesn't belong in mine. What if her father was right? What if I can't no longer support Catherine financially in the upcoming days? I need to have a job. Even though it's part time, that'll be enough for me and her. I need to make a living for the two of us.

•••••

"Shall we go buy fruits?" She asked.

I look at her while she was cooking lunch for us. I love watching her cook and help her. I do the slicing of spices mostly.

"Sure." I say.

We had lunch together and we acted as if nothing happened last night. I acted as if I wasn't bothered about Hans. I acted as if her own father didn't offer me money so I could stay away from her. I didn't tell Catherine about it cos I don't want her to hate her father because of me. Eloping together is already sinfully wrong. I don't know why they're not doing anything yet to find her or us so as long as we still have time, we'll spend it together cos we're not sure about tomorrow.

We went out and walked around town to buy fruits. Catherine loves fruits, most especially orange. No wonder she's an orange lover and now I'm starting to love orange because of her too. She bought a few apples and bananas and more orange.

"You'll turn orange on that." I joked.

She laughs while putting the orange back to the shelf. "I'm kidding love. Put that back here." I say.

too allergic to dust that's why I told her we don't need curtains. My money is

and Catherine looked

we need

"No. I don't

She laughs.

a lazy washer. So

laughs again. "I'll

okay. We don't need

"We're clearly doing great Nick. Aren't

I nod.

long as I have you, I'll be okay."

my life is already complete."

Catherine's warmth in my mouth when we kiss like this is the best thing that I could always feel.

that got

man?" I

up a hand to

Alec?"

Alec speaks

"What happened to

by a

Catherine gasped.

I heard what Alec just said. It's unbelievable. I don't want to believe it at all. No. This is not happening. Who could have done

Stop slacking we gotta go come on!" Alec pulls

the backseat with Catherine. She's rubbing my back. She's telling me everything's gonna be okay. She tells me I need to be strong for Tracy. Oh god Tracy. I try to hold back my tears. I run my fingers through

we rushed to the emergency room. My hands are cold and my heart is beating even faster. Tracy ran towards me when she saw me. She was crying hard. She was crying on

I

inside."

I see a

at

No.

NO.

NO!!

of death, vehicular accident and internal bleeding."

It's not my mom.

No.

his head up and looked to us. "Relatives of the

ready to hear what I have to hear. The four of us went closer to be doctor and I'm getting weak and weak every step closer to

But she didn't make it. We

mom!! She's not dead! It's too soon! No!" I went hysterical as my tears brimmed out from

with me. I'm weak. I'm so weak. I'm losing it. But I'm crying even more. Catherine is giving me strength. Tracy is crying too while Alec was holding her. My mom. My mother. She's gone. She's dead. I fell on the floor with Catherine. She's still holding me. She's still

"No.... Mom!" I cried.

her back but she was already dead on arrival. We are sorry."

mind. I think I'm going to lose the ability to think straight. I'm only sixteen and Tracy's only twelve. I don't know what to do. Were still young. I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready.

shaking but Catherine is holding it. My body is shivering in fear and anger but Catherine is hugging me close to her and telling me she won't leave. My heart is breaking but she's trying to put it back into pieces and patch it up. I'm breaking into pieces

Don't worry. I won't leave you." Catherine whispers

mom." I repeat over and

Don't worry."

•••••

Catherine and I went to the police station to ask for trails about who hit my mom while Alec and Tracy were preparing mom's funeral. I still haven't talked much since yesterday. I'm still trying to sink it in that my mother is gone. Catherine holds my hand while we walk inside the station. My heart is thumping on my