Love Aint Always Pretty

Kalopsia

- the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are

Origin: Greek

47

SAVANNAH'S POV

I was sitting down inside a coffee shop, rewriting my 500-word essay for this Friday. I have been here for almost an hour now and I'm still not halfway through. My neck is already hurting and my wrist is starting to hurt as well. I take a sip from my frappe and it's already four in the afternoon.

"Savannah. Good to see you here."

I pulled my head up and it was Alec. He walks closer to my table. I haven't seen or talked to him after that night when I eavesdropped his conversation with Nick. I have tried to ignore him too cos I'm ashamed of myself. He knows the thing I have with Nick.

"Can I share a table?" He asked.

I just stared at him and he says, "Don't worry I'm alone."

I nod.

Alec pulls out the chair across me and sat down with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine. Thanks." I answered.

He takes a sip from his coffee and neither of us tried to talk anymore. I continued writing on my essay.

"About that night Savannah." He says.

I slightly pulled my head up to him.

"I know you've heard everything and I feel bad about it." He says.

I bite my lip.

"I don't know why Nick is treating you this way. You clearly don't deserve this kind of... Brokenness and ugliness." He added.

I exhale and put my pen back down. I stare at him and he looked totally sorry about what he said that night though he didn't really say anything bad against me.

"I'm just too embarrassed now that you know I'm only screwing Nick and he's doing the same thing." I say softly.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most college students are stuck on being just friends with benefits. The only difference is, you're in love. I know you love him Savannah. That night when I saw those tears on your face, I know you wanted more from what Nick is giving you but--"

"But he can't give me what I need." I continue his sentence for him.

I looked away and hear Alec exhaling heavily. "I wouldn't ask those things if I knew you were there."

I smirked and said, "I wouldn't know his answers if you knew I was there."

"But are you okay with this set up with Nick? You know you're going to hurt yourself if you keep on doing this."

I exhale heavily, as if I'm having a hard time to breathe.

"I want to continue with whatever I have with Nick.... Even though it's hurting me."

I look back at Alec while he looks at me. He pity me. I could see from his eyes. He knows too well that Nick won't love me. He knows him too well and that look on his eyes is breaking me.

"Why do you want this?" He asked.

"I'm a fool for him, Alec." I say.

His brows are creasing.

try to keep up with this though it hurts. This will end someday and before it'll end I just want to make most of

you give him more

humorlessly. "I think

of thing Savannah when you know it's never gonna happen? You're inflicting pain to

still hoping he could change. He could change for me." I

and trust me when I say Nick's heart is already sealed long ago.

I bent my head down and wiped it away before it could fall

still here I am hoping that he will.

me. He holds me close and I was hugging him cos it's what I need. I need to tell someone other than Nick about this thing that's going on between me and him cos this is so unhealthy to the

late cos you're an amazing woman Savannah. It'll be Nick's loss." He

ply of tissue. I wiped my tears and he's still looking at me. It's nice to hear at coming from Nick's best friend, he knows it's

don't you take Nick less seriously? Keep it strictly physical."

"I'm trying."

another guy....who likes you."

"No

All Aries talks

"What?"

widened. "Shit. Don't tell him I

laugh softly. "Aries is a

since that night when you saved him from getting beaten up, all he ever asked me about was

"He's not?" I asked.

night before but after that night

I paused.

make fun of him. Aries is a known playboy but every time a girl comes around, he

really know who's side you're on right now. Are you taking

He laughs. "No one's."

I exhale.

trying to say is, don't make yourself too unavailable to other men cos of what you

I smiled at myself.

you deserve to be loved the way you should be. You're a beautiful woman, Savannah. A lot of men could be after you and you just don't know it cos you're too focused on Nick."

him and I know he is right. I'm setting myself too closed around Nick. Alec is right, I shouldn't be taking this thing I have

"Thanks Alec." I say.

worry, your secret with Nick

I smiled.

•••••

misspelled words. Tracy went out with Clyde as always and I'm always the one left here. I put down my paper to my side table drawer and pulled myself up from the bed. I placed a pillow behind my head as I rest against the wall. I'm still thinking about what Alec told

entertaining other men while I'm screwing

knock came by the door.

voice called

It's not

anything but why is there a delivery? Perhaps it was a mail? I reached for the knob and opened the door. A tall man with a baseball cap turned backwards was smiling at

"Hi angel." He says.

I smiled back. "Hey."

showed me. "Alec said you were a bit sad today so I thought I could

chuckled. "I hope there's foods in

chicken teriyaki and some rolls. I hope you like Japanese

love it. Come in

closer to him. He starts pulling out the foods and everything looks

He

worry you're

started eating. At first he tries to learn how to hold the chopsticks but he ends up dropping his foods back on his paper plate. I'd end up laughing

is good. This is

my favorite

be my favorite too." I

of melted a little bit but melted or not it's still ice cream. It's still tasty. I'm glad Aries is here to company me, I've been kind of a loner lately since Tracy has been busy with her researching and I've had to do other stuff related to school too. Nick is gone again. I don't know

doesn't tell

know your