Love Aint Always Pretty

Kalopsia

- the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are

Origin: Greek

47

SAVANNAH'S POV

I was sitting down inside a coffee shop, rewriting my 500-word essay for this Friday. I have been here for almost an hour now and I'm still not halfway through. My neck is already hurting and my wrist is starting to hurt as well. I take a sip from my frappe and it's already four in the afternoon.

"Savannah. Good to see you here."

I pulled my head up and it was Alec. He walks closer to my table. I haven't seen or talked to him after that night when I eavesdropped his conversation with Nick. I have tried to ignore him too cos I'm ashamed of myself. He knows the thing I have with Nick.

"Can I share a table?" He asked.

I just stared at him and he says, "Don't worry I'm alone."

I nod.

Alec pulls out the chair across me and sat down with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine. Thanks." I answered.

He takes a sip from his coffee and neither of us tried to talk anymore. I continued writing on my essay.

"About that night Savannah." He says.

I slightly pulled my head up to him.

"I know you've heard everything and I feel bad about it." He says.

I bite my lip.

"I don't know why Nick is treating you this way. You clearly don't deserve this kind of... Brokenness and ugliness." He added.

I exhale and put my pen back down. I stare at him and he looked totally sorry about what he said that night though he didn't really say anything bad against me.

"I'm just too embarrassed now that you know I'm only screwing Nick and he's doing the same thing." I say softly.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most college students are stuck on being just friends with benefits. The only difference is, you're in love. I know you love him Savannah. That night when I saw those tears on your face, I know you wanted more from what Nick is giving you but--"

"But he can't give me what I need." I continue his sentence for him.

I looked away and hear Alec exhaling heavily. "I wouldn't ask those things if I knew you were there."

I smirked and said, "I wouldn't know his answers if you knew I was there."

"But are you okay with this set up with Nick? You know you're going to hurt yourself if you keep on doing this."

I exhale heavily, as if I'm having a hard time to breathe.

"I want to continue with whatever I have with Nick.... Even though it's hurting me."

I look back at Alec while he looks at me. He pity me. I could see from his eyes. He knows too well that Nick won't love me. He knows him too well and that look on his eyes is breaking me.

"Why do you want this?" He asked.

"I'm a fool for him, Alec." I say.

His brows are creasing.

up with this though it hurts. This will end someday

"If you give him more time I know he'll

"I think that's never gonna

want to go on with this kind of thing Savannah when you know it's never gonna happen? You're inflicting pain to

change. He could change for

heart

my tears filling my eyes. I bent my head down and

again but still here I am hoping that he will. That he could." My voice

where he was sitting and sits down right next to me. He holds me close and I was hugging him cos it's what I need. I need to tell someone other than Nick

it's too late cos you're an amazing woman Savannah. It'll be Nick's loss." He says to

hear at coming from Nick's best friend, he knows it's Nick's loss.

less seriously? Keep

"I'm trying."

with another guy....who likes you." He

"No guy likes

Aries talks about when you're not around

"What?"

eyes widened. "Shit. Don't

laugh softly. "Aries is a playboy,

that night when you saved him from getting beaten up, all he ever asked me about was you. He's not

"He's not?" I asked.

that night when you first came at the frat party, he tried his best

I paused.

even tried to make fun of him. Aries is a known playboy but every time

who's side you're on right now. Are

He laughs. "No one's."

I exhale.

to say is, don't make yourself too unavailable to other men

I smiled at myself.

be. You're a beautiful woman, Savannah. A lot of men could be

my head up to him and I know he is right. I'm setting myself too closed around Nick. Alec is right, I shouldn't be taking

"Thanks Alec." I say.

nods. "And don't worry, your secret with Nick is

I smiled.

•••••

misspelled words. Tracy went out with Clyde as always and I'm always the one left here. I put down my paper to my side table drawer and pulled myself up from the bed. I placed a pillow behind my head as I rest against the wall. I'm still thinking about what Alec told me. Those words still runs over my head. I know I should do it. I

I look like a slutty if I'm entertaining

knock came by

voice called

It's not

order anything but why is there a delivery? Perhaps it was a mail? I reached for the knob and opened

"Hi angel." He says.

I smiled back. "Hey."

up the paper bag and showed me. "Alec said you were a

hope there's foods in there. I'm

and some rolls. I hope you like

it. Come in Aries."

and marched my way closer to him. He starts pulling out the foods and everything looks deliciously

at this." He

smiled. "Don't worry

foods back on his paper plate. I'd

This is really good." I

from my

my favorite too." I smile. "Pass up the ice cream

Aries is here to company me, I've been kind of a loner lately since Tracy has been busy with her researching and I've had to do other stuff related to school too. Nick is gone again. I don't know where he is. Haven't seen him

doesn't tell

didn't know