Love Aint Always Pretty

Kalopsia

- the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are

Origin: Greek

47

SAVANNAH'S POV

I was sitting down inside a coffee shop, rewriting my 500-word essay for this Friday. I have been here for almost an hour now and I'm still not halfway through. My neck is already hurting and my wrist is starting to hurt as well. I take a sip from my frappe and it's already four in the afternoon.

"Savannah. Good to see you here."

I pulled my head up and it was Alec. He walks closer to my table. I haven't seen or talked to him after that night when I eavesdropped his conversation with Nick. I have tried to ignore him too cos I'm ashamed of myself. He knows the thing I have with Nick.

"Can I share a table?" He asked.

I just stared at him and he says, "Don't worry I'm alone."

I nod.

Alec pulls out the chair across me and sat down with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine. Thanks." I answered.

He takes a sip from his coffee and neither of us tried to talk anymore. I continued writing on my essay.

"About that night Savannah." He says.

I slightly pulled my head up to him.

"I know you've heard everything and I feel bad about it." He says.

I bite my lip.

"I don't know why Nick is treating you this way. You clearly don't deserve this kind of... Brokenness and ugliness." He added.

I exhale and put my pen back down. I stare at him and he looked totally sorry about what he said that night though he didn't really say anything bad against me.

"I'm just too embarrassed now that you know I'm only screwing Nick and he's doing the same thing." I say softly.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most college students are stuck on being just friends with benefits. The only difference is, you're in love. I know you love him Savannah. That night when I saw those tears on your face, I know you wanted more from what Nick is giving you but--"

"But he can't give me what I need." I continue his sentence for him.

I looked away and hear Alec exhaling heavily. "I wouldn't ask those things if I knew you were there."

I smirked and said, "I wouldn't know his answers if you knew I was there."

"But are you okay with this set up with Nick? You know you're going to hurt yourself if you keep on doing this."

I exhale heavily, as if I'm having a hard time to breathe.

"I want to continue with whatever I have with Nick.... Even though it's hurting me."

I look back at Alec while he looks at me. He pity me. I could see from his eyes. He knows too well that Nick won't love me. He knows him too well and that look on his eyes is breaking me.

"Why do you want this?" He asked.

"I'm a fool for him, Alec." I say.

His brows are creasing.

though it hurts. This will end someday and before it'll end I just want to make most of my time with him." I

down on the table. "If you give him more time

humorlessly. "I think

on with this kind of thing Savannah when you

still hoping he could change. He could change for me." I

friend to me and trust me when I say Nick's heart is already sealed

head down and wiped it away before

here I am hoping that he will.

down right next to me. He holds me close and I was hugging him cos it's what I need. I need to tell someone other than Nick about this thing that's going on between me and him cos this is so unhealthy

it's too late cos you're an amazing woman Savannah. It'll be Nick's loss."

at me. It's nice to hear at coming from Nick's best friend, he knows it's Nick's loss. I hope I'm a loss to him cos

Nick less seriously? Keep it strictly

"I'm trying."

with another guy....who likes you." He

"No

kidding me? All Aries talks about when you're

"What?"

widened. "Shit. Don't tell him I said

laugh softly. "Aries

him cos since that night when you saved him from getting beaten up, all he ever asked

"He's not?" I asked.

women every night before but after that night when you first came

I paused.

known playboy but every time a

don't really know who's side you're on right

He laughs. "No one's."

I exhale.

too unavailable to other men cos of what you have with Nick." He

I smiled at myself.

should be. You're a beautiful woman, Savannah.

he is right. I'm setting myself too closed around Nick. Alec is right, I shouldn't be taking this thing I have with Nick seriously. I need to meet other men, no sex though, but just

"Thanks Alec." I say.

"And don't worry, your secret with Nick

I smiled.

•••••

paper to my side table drawer and pulled myself up from the bed. I placed a pillow behind my head as I rest against the wall. I'm still thinking about what Alec told me. Those words still runs over my head. I

I look like a slutty if I'm entertaining

came by the door.

voice

It's not

bed and headed to the door. I didn't order anything but why is there a delivery? Perhaps it was a mail? I reached for the knob and opened the door. A tall man with a baseball

"Hi angel." He says.

I smiled back. "Hey."

showed me. "Alec said you were a bit sad today so I thought I could buy you

foods in there. I'm famished." I

teriyaki and some rolls.

it. Come

the door and marched my way closer to him. He starts pulling out the foods and everything looks deliciously cute. Aries started opening the lids and handed me

this." He says while holding the

"Don't worry

tries to learn how to hold the chopsticks but he ends up dropping his foods back on his paper plate. I'd end up laughing

is good. This is really good."

my favorite

I guess it's going to be my favorite too." I smile. "Pass

is here to company me, I've been kind of a loner lately since Tracy has been busy with her researching and I've had to do other

tell me where

I didn't know