Love Aint Always Pretty

Kalopsia

- the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are

Origin: Greek

47

SAVANNAH'S POV

I was sitting down inside a coffee shop, rewriting my 500-word essay for this Friday. I have been here for almost an hour now and I'm still not halfway through. My neck is already hurting and my wrist is starting to hurt as well. I take a sip from my frappe and it's already four in the afternoon.

"Savannah. Good to see you here."

I pulled my head up and it was Alec. He walks closer to my table. I haven't seen or talked to him after that night when I eavesdropped his conversation with Nick. I have tried to ignore him too cos I'm ashamed of myself. He knows the thing I have with Nick.

"Can I share a table?" He asked.

I just stared at him and he says, "Don't worry I'm alone."

I nod.

Alec pulls out the chair across me and sat down with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine. Thanks." I answered.

He takes a sip from his coffee and neither of us tried to talk anymore. I continued writing on my essay.

"About that night Savannah." He says.

I slightly pulled my head up to him.

"I know you've heard everything and I feel bad about it." He says.

I bite my lip.

"I don't know why Nick is treating you this way. You clearly don't deserve this kind of... Brokenness and ugliness." He added.

I exhale and put my pen back down. I stare at him and he looked totally sorry about what he said that night though he didn't really say anything bad against me.

"I'm just too embarrassed now that you know I'm only screwing Nick and he's doing the same thing." I say softly.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most college students are stuck on being just friends with benefits. The only difference is, you're in love. I know you love him Savannah. That night when I saw those tears on your face, I know you wanted more from what Nick is giving you but--"

"But he can't give me what I need." I continue his sentence for him.

I looked away and hear Alec exhaling heavily. "I wouldn't ask those things if I knew you were there."

I smirked and said, "I wouldn't know his answers if you knew I was there."

"But are you okay with this set up with Nick? You know you're going to hurt yourself if you keep on doing this."

I exhale heavily, as if I'm having a hard time to breathe.

"I want to continue with whatever I have with Nick.... Even though it's hurting me."

I look back at Alec while he looks at me. He pity me. I could see from his eyes. He knows too well that Nick won't love me. He knows him too well and that look on his eyes is breaking me.

"Why do you want this?" He asked.

"I'm a fool for him, Alec." I say.

His brows are creasing.

hurts. This will end someday and before it'll end I just want to make

down on the table. "If you give him more time I know he'll realize that he loves you

humorlessly. "I think that's

on with this kind of thing

hoping he could change. He could

already a dear friend to me and trust me when I say Nick's heart is already sealed long

I bent my head down and wiped it away before it could fall

but still here I am hoping

me close and I was hugging him cos it's what I need. I need to tell someone other

realize it before it's too late cos you're an amazing woman Savannah. It'll be Nick's loss."

looking at me. It's nice to hear at coming from Nick's best friend, he knows it's Nick's loss. I hope I'm a loss to him cos the way he's

don't you take Nick less seriously? Keep it

"I'm trying."

with another guy....who

sigh. "No

All Aries talks about

"What?"

eyes widened. "Shit. Don't tell

"Aries is a playboy,

affect on him cos since that night when you saved him from getting beaten

"He's not?" I asked.

"Not anymore. I usually see him with different women every night before but after that night when you first came at the frat

I paused.

tried to make fun of him. Aries is a known playboy but every time a girl comes around, he turns them down."

you're on right

He laughs. "No one's."

I exhale.

unavailable to other men cos of what you have with

I smiled at myself.

beautiful woman, Savannah. A lot of men could be

I'm setting myself too closed around Nick. Alec is right, I shouldn't be taking this thing I have with Nick seriously. I need to meet other men, no sex though,

"Thanks Alec." I say.

secret with

I smiled.

•••••

made, looking for some errors and misspelled words. Tracy went out with Clyde as always and I'm always the one left here. I put down my paper to my side table drawer and pulled myself up from the bed. I placed a pillow behind my head as I

I look like a slutty if I'm entertaining other men while I'm screwing

knock came by the door.

voice called

It's

was a mail? I reached for the knob and opened the door. A

"Hi angel." He says.

I smiled back. "Hey."

you were a bit sad today so I

foods in there. I'm

chicken teriyaki and some rolls. I hope you like Japanese

Come in Aries." I

inside and headed to the bed. I closed the door and marched my way closer to him. He starts pulling

suck at this." He says while

"Don't worry

his foods back on his paper plate. I'd end up

good. This is really good." I

from my favorite Japanese

too." I smile. "Pass up

glad Aries is here to company me, I've been kind of a loner lately since Tracy has been busy with her researching and I've had to do other stuff related to school too. Nick is gone again. I don't know where he is. Haven't seen him

tell me

way, I didn't know your name