Love Aint Always Pretty

Kalopsia

- the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are

Origin: Greek

47

SAVANNAH'S POV

I was sitting down inside a coffee shop, rewriting my 500-word essay for this Friday. I have been here for almost an hour now and I'm still not halfway through. My neck is already hurting and my wrist is starting to hurt as well. I take a sip from my frappe and it's already four in the afternoon.

"Savannah. Good to see you here."

I pulled my head up and it was Alec. He walks closer to my table. I haven't seen or talked to him after that night when I eavesdropped his conversation with Nick. I have tried to ignore him too cos I'm ashamed of myself. He knows the thing I have with Nick.

"Can I share a table?" He asked.

I just stared at him and he says, "Don't worry I'm alone."

I nod.

Alec pulls out the chair across me and sat down with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine. Thanks." I answered.

He takes a sip from his coffee and neither of us tried to talk anymore. I continued writing on my essay.

"About that night Savannah." He says.

I slightly pulled my head up to him.

"I know you've heard everything and I feel bad about it." He says.

I bite my lip.

"I don't know why Nick is treating you this way. You clearly don't deserve this kind of... Brokenness and ugliness." He added.

I exhale and put my pen back down. I stare at him and he looked totally sorry about what he said that night though he didn't really say anything bad against me.

"I'm just too embarrassed now that you know I'm only screwing Nick and he's doing the same thing." I say softly.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most college students are stuck on being just friends with benefits. The only difference is, you're in love. I know you love him Savannah. That night when I saw those tears on your face, I know you wanted more from what Nick is giving you but--"

"But he can't give me what I need." I continue his sentence for him.

I looked away and hear Alec exhaling heavily. "I wouldn't ask those things if I knew you were there."

I smirked and said, "I wouldn't know his answers if you knew I was there."

"But are you okay with this set up with Nick? You know you're going to hurt yourself if you keep on doing this."

I exhale heavily, as if I'm having a hard time to breathe.

"I want to continue with whatever I have with Nick.... Even though it's hurting me."

I look back at Alec while he looks at me. He pity me. I could see from his eyes. He knows too well that Nick won't love me. He knows him too well and that look on his eyes is breaking me.

"Why do you want this?" He asked.

"I'm a fool for him, Alec." I say.

His brows are creasing.

though it hurts. This will end someday and before it'll end I just want to make most of my time with him." I

looks down on the table. "If you give him more time I know he'll

humorlessly. "I think

think so, why do you still want to go on with this kind of thing Savannah when you

could change. He could change

I say Nick's heart is already sealed

my tears filling my eyes. I bent my head down and wiped it

but still here I am hoping that he will. That he

need. I need to tell

it before it's too late cos you're an amazing woman Savannah. It'll be Nick's loss." He says

and he's still looking at me. It's nice to hear at coming from Nick's best friend, he knows it's Nick's loss. I hope I'm a loss to him cos the way he's

Nick less seriously? Keep it strictly physical." He

"I'm trying."

guy....who likes you." He

"No guy likes

you kidding me? All Aries talks about when you're not around is

"What?"

eyes widened. "Shit. Don't tell

"Aries is a playboy,

night when you saved him from getting beaten up, all he ever asked me about was you. He's not

"He's not?" I asked.

with different women every night before but after that

I paused.

is a known playboy

who's side you're on right now. Are you taking

He laughs. "No one's."

I exhale.

too unavailable to other men cos

I smiled at myself.

know Nick is my best friend but you deserve to be loved the way you should be. You're a beautiful woman, Savannah. A lot of men

closed around Nick. Alec is right, I shouldn't be taking this thing I have with Nick seriously. I need to meet other men, no sex though,

"Thanks Alec." I say.

your secret

I smiled.

•••••

and misspelled words. Tracy went out with Clyde as always and I'm always the one left here. I put down my paper to my side table drawer and pulled myself up from the bed. I placed a pillow behind my head as I rest against the wall. I'm still thinking about what Alec told me. Those words still runs over my head. I know I should do it. I shouldn't make myself too available for Nick

look like a slutty if I'm entertaining other men while I'm

knock came by the door.

A voice called

It's

a delivery? Perhaps it was a mail? I reached

"Hi angel." He says.

I smiled back. "Hey."

"Alec said you were a

chuckled. "I hope there's foods in

rolls. I

it. Come in

to the bed. I closed the door and marched my way closer to him. He starts

He says

worry you're

eating. At first he tries to learn how to hold the chopsticks but he ends up dropping his foods back on his paper plate. I'd end up

This is really good." I

from my

too." I smile. "Pass up the ice cream

glad Aries is here to company me, I've been kind of a loner lately since Tracy has been busy with her researching and I've had to do other stuff related to school too. Nick is gone again.

tell me where

didn't know