Love Aint Always Pretty

Kalopsia

- the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are

Origin: Greek

47

SAVANNAH'S POV

I was sitting down inside a coffee shop, rewriting my 500-word essay for this Friday. I have been here for almost an hour now and I'm still not halfway through. My neck is already hurting and my wrist is starting to hurt as well. I take a sip from my frappe and it's already four in the afternoon.

"Savannah. Good to see you here."

I pulled my head up and it was Alec. He walks closer to my table. I haven't seen or talked to him after that night when I eavesdropped his conversation with Nick. I have tried to ignore him too cos I'm ashamed of myself. He knows the thing I have with Nick.

"Can I share a table?" He asked.

I just stared at him and he says, "Don't worry I'm alone."

I nod.

Alec pulls out the chair across me and sat down with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine. Thanks." I answered.

He takes a sip from his coffee and neither of us tried to talk anymore. I continued writing on my essay.

"About that night Savannah." He says.

I slightly pulled my head up to him.

"I know you've heard everything and I feel bad about it." He says.

I bite my lip.

"I don't know why Nick is treating you this way. You clearly don't deserve this kind of... Brokenness and ugliness." He added.

I exhale and put my pen back down. I stare at him and he looked totally sorry about what he said that night though he didn't really say anything bad against me.

"I'm just too embarrassed now that you know I'm only screwing Nick and he's doing the same thing." I say softly.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most college students are stuck on being just friends with benefits. The only difference is, you're in love. I know you love him Savannah. That night when I saw those tears on your face, I know you wanted more from what Nick is giving you but--"

"But he can't give me what I need." I continue his sentence for him.

I looked away and hear Alec exhaling heavily. "I wouldn't ask those things if I knew you were there."

I smirked and said, "I wouldn't know his answers if you knew I was there."

"But are you okay with this set up with Nick? You know you're going to hurt yourself if you keep on doing this."

I exhale heavily, as if I'm having a hard time to breathe.

"I want to continue with whatever I have with Nick.... Even though it's hurting me."

I look back at Alec while he looks at me. He pity me. I could see from his eyes. He knows too well that Nick won't love me. He knows him too well and that look on his eyes is breaking me.

"Why do you want this?" He asked.

"I'm a fool for him, Alec." I say.

His brows are creasing.

this though it hurts. This will end someday and before it'll end I just want to

him more time I know he'll realize that

laugh humorlessly. "I think

kind of thing Savannah when you know it's never gonna happen? You're inflicting pain

still hoping he could change. He

to me and trust me when I say Nick's heart is already sealed long ago. It's already

down and wiped it away before it

but still here I am hoping

me. He holds me close and I was hugging him cos it's what I need. I need to tell

it before it's too late cos you're an amazing woman Savannah. It'll be Nick's loss."

wiped my tears and he's still looking at me. It's nice to hear at coming from Nick's best friend, he knows it's Nick's loss. I hope I'm a loss to him cos the way he's treating me, isn't telling me I am a

seriously? Keep it strictly physical."

"I'm trying."

out with another guy....who likes

sigh. "No guy likes

Aries talks about

"What?"

widened. "Shit. Don't tell him I said

softly. "Aries is

I think you have this affect on him cos since that night when you saved him from getting beaten

"He's not?" I asked.

head. "Not anymore. I usually see him with different women every night before but after that night when you first came at the frat party, he tried

I paused.

Aries is a known playboy

don't really know who's side you're on right now. Are

He laughs. "No one's."

I exhale.

I'm trying to say is, don't make yourself too unavailable to other men cos

I smiled at myself.

woman, Savannah. A lot of men

is right. I'm setting myself too closed around Nick. Alec is right, I shouldn't be taking this thing I have with Nick seriously.

"Thanks Alec." I say.

nods. "And don't worry, your secret with Nick is

I smiled.

•••••

drawer and pulled myself up from the bed. I placed a pillow behind my head as I rest against the wall. I'm still thinking about what Alec told me. Those words still runs over my head. I know I

like a slutty if I'm entertaining other men while I'm

by the

A voice

It's not

is there a delivery? Perhaps it was a mail? I reached for the knob and opened the door. A tall man with a baseball cap turned backwards

"Hi angel." He says.

I smiled back. "Hey."

me. "Alec said you were a bit sad today

"I hope there's foods in there. I'm

some rolls.

it. Come

I closed the door and marched my way closer to him. He starts pulling out the foods

at this." He says while holding the

worry you're not

to hold the chopsticks but he ends up dropping his foods back on his paper plate. I'd end up laughing at him and then he shifted to the

is really good."

from my favorite

too." I smile. "Pass

ice cream. It's still tasty. I'm glad Aries is here to company me, I've been kind of a loner lately since Tracy has been busy with her researching and I've had to do other stuff related to school too. Nick is gone again.

doesn't tell me

the way, I didn't know your name