Love Aint Always Pretty

Kalopsia

- the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are

Origin: Greek

47

SAVANNAH'S POV

I was sitting down inside a coffee shop, rewriting my 500-word essay for this Friday. I have been here for almost an hour now and I'm still not halfway through. My neck is already hurting and my wrist is starting to hurt as well. I take a sip from my frappe and it's already four in the afternoon.

"Savannah. Good to see you here."

I pulled my head up and it was Alec. He walks closer to my table. I haven't seen or talked to him after that night when I eavesdropped his conversation with Nick. I have tried to ignore him too cos I'm ashamed of myself. He knows the thing I have with Nick.

"Can I share a table?" He asked.

I just stared at him and he says, "Don't worry I'm alone."

I nod.

Alec pulls out the chair across me and sat down with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine. Thanks." I answered.

He takes a sip from his coffee and neither of us tried to talk anymore. I continued writing on my essay.

"About that night Savannah." He says.

I slightly pulled my head up to him.

"I know you've heard everything and I feel bad about it." He says.

I bite my lip.

"I don't know why Nick is treating you this way. You clearly don't deserve this kind of... Brokenness and ugliness." He added.

I exhale and put my pen back down. I stare at him and he looked totally sorry about what he said that night though he didn't really say anything bad against me.

"I'm just too embarrassed now that you know I'm only screwing Nick and he's doing the same thing." I say softly.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most college students are stuck on being just friends with benefits. The only difference is, you're in love. I know you love him Savannah. That night when I saw those tears on your face, I know you wanted more from what Nick is giving you but--"

"But he can't give me what I need." I continue his sentence for him.

I looked away and hear Alec exhaling heavily. "I wouldn't ask those things if I knew you were there."

I smirked and said, "I wouldn't know his answers if you knew I was there."

"But are you okay with this set up with Nick? You know you're going to hurt yourself if you keep on doing this."

I exhale heavily, as if I'm having a hard time to breathe.

"I want to continue with whatever I have with Nick.... Even though it's hurting me."

I look back at Alec while he looks at me. He pity me. I could see from his eyes. He knows too well that Nick won't love me. He knows him too well and that look on his eyes is breaking me.

"Why do you want this?" He asked.

"I'm a fool for him, Alec." I say.

His brows are creasing.

it hurts. This will end someday and before it'll end I just want to make most of my time

table. "If you give him more

think that's

of thing Savannah when you

hoping he could change. He could change for me."

I say Nick's heart is already sealed long ago. It's already as hard as a

bent my head down and

I know he couldn't love again but still here I am hoping that he will.

to me. He holds me close and I was hugging him cos it's what I need. I need to tell someone other than Nick about this thing that's going on between me and him cos

it's too late cos you're an amazing woman Savannah. It'll be Nick's loss." He says to

tissue. I wiped my tears and he's still looking at me. It's nice to hear at coming from Nick's best friend, he knows it's Nick's loss. I hope I'm a loss to him cos the way he's treating me, isn't telling me I am a loss once I'll be

Nick less seriously?

"I'm trying."

out with another guy....who likes you." He

"No guy likes

you kidding me? All Aries talks

"What?"

widened. "Shit. Don't tell

softly. "Aries is a playboy,

think you have this affect on him cos since that night when you saved him from getting beaten up, all he ever asked me about was you. He's not even seeing women anymore."

"He's not?" I asked.

after that night when you first came at the frat party, he tried his best to stay away

I paused.

Aries is a known playboy but every time a girl comes

don't really know who's side you're on right now. Are you taking

He laughs. "No one's."

I exhale.

to say is, don't make yourself too unavailable to other men cos of what you have

I smiled at myself.

Savannah. A lot of men could be after you and you just don't know it cos you're too

head up to him and I know he is right. I'm setting myself too closed around Nick. Alec is right, I shouldn't be taking this thing I have with Nick seriously. I need to meet other men, no sex

"Thanks Alec." I say.

your secret with Nick is safe

I smiled.

•••••

the 500 word essay I made, looking for some errors and misspelled words. Tracy went out with Clyde as always and I'm always the one left here. I put down my paper to my side table drawer and pulled myself up from the bed. I placed a

I'm entertaining other men while

came by the door.

A voice called

sigh. It's not

why is there a delivery? Perhaps it was a mail? I reached for the knob and opened the

"Hi angel." He says.

I smiled back. "Hey."

and showed me. "Alec said you were a bit sad today so I thought I could buy you your favorite

foods in there. I'm famished."

teriyaki and some rolls.

Come in Aries." I

headed to the bed. I closed the door and marched my way closer to him. He starts pulling out the foods and everything looks deliciously cute. Aries started opening the lids and handed me

suck at this." He

worry you're

his foods back on his paper plate. I'd end up laughing at him and then he shifted to

good. This is really good."

from my

to be my favorite too." I smile. "Pass up the ice

sort of melted a little bit but melted or not it's still ice cream. It's still tasty. I'm glad Aries is here to company me, I've been kind of a loner lately since Tracy has been busy with her researching and I've had to do

always doesn't tell me where

didn't know your