Love Aint Always Pretty

Kalopsia

- the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are

Origin: Greek

47

SAVANNAH'S POV

I was sitting down inside a coffee shop, rewriting my 500-word essay for this Friday. I have been here for almost an hour now and I'm still not halfway through. My neck is already hurting and my wrist is starting to hurt as well. I take a sip from my frappe and it's already four in the afternoon.

"Savannah. Good to see you here."

I pulled my head up and it was Alec. He walks closer to my table. I haven't seen or talked to him after that night when I eavesdropped his conversation with Nick. I have tried to ignore him too cos I'm ashamed of myself. He knows the thing I have with Nick.

"Can I share a table?" He asked.

I just stared at him and he says, "Don't worry I'm alone."

I nod.

Alec pulls out the chair across me and sat down with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine. Thanks." I answered.

He takes a sip from his coffee and neither of us tried to talk anymore. I continued writing on my essay.

"About that night Savannah." He says.

I slightly pulled my head up to him.

"I know you've heard everything and I feel bad about it." He says.

I bite my lip.

"I don't know why Nick is treating you this way. You clearly don't deserve this kind of... Brokenness and ugliness." He added.

I exhale and put my pen back down. I stare at him and he looked totally sorry about what he said that night though he didn't really say anything bad against me.

"I'm just too embarrassed now that you know I'm only screwing Nick and he's doing the same thing." I say softly.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most college students are stuck on being just friends with benefits. The only difference is, you're in love. I know you love him Savannah. That night when I saw those tears on your face, I know you wanted more from what Nick is giving you but--"

"But he can't give me what I need." I continue his sentence for him.

I looked away and hear Alec exhaling heavily. "I wouldn't ask those things if I knew you were there."

I smirked and said, "I wouldn't know his answers if you knew I was there."

"But are you okay with this set up with Nick? You know you're going to hurt yourself if you keep on doing this."

I exhale heavily, as if I'm having a hard time to breathe.

"I want to continue with whatever I have with Nick.... Even though it's hurting me."

I look back at Alec while he looks at me. He pity me. I could see from his eyes. He knows too well that Nick won't love me. He knows him too well and that look on his eyes is breaking me.

"Why do you want this?" He asked.

"I'm a fool for him, Alec." I say.

His brows are creasing.

end someday and before it'll end I just want to make

table. "If you give him more time I know

laugh humorlessly. "I think

on with this kind of thing Savannah when you know it's never gonna happen? You're inflicting pain to your own

I'm still hoping he could change. He could change for me."

me when I say Nick's heart is already sealed long ago. It's already as hard as a

bent my head down and wiped

know he couldn't love again but still here I am hoping that he will.

and I was hugging him cos it's what I need. I

realize it before it's too late cos you're an amazing woman Savannah. It'll be

and he's still looking at me. It's nice to hear at coming from Nick's best friend, he knows it's Nick's loss. I hope I'm a loss to him cos the way he's treating me, isn't telling

you take Nick less seriously? Keep it strictly physical." He

"I'm trying."

out with another guy....who likes you."

sigh. "No guy likes

you kidding me? All Aries talks about when you're not

"What?"

Don't tell him I said

laugh softly. "Aries is a

is. But I think you have this affect on him cos since that night when you saved him from getting beaten up, all he ever asked me about

"He's not?" I asked.

with different women every night before but after that night

I paused.

playboy but every

"I don't really know who's side you're on right now. Are you taking

He laughs. "No one's."

I exhale.

unavailable to other men cos of what you have with Nick." He

I smiled at myself.

you should be. You're a beautiful woman, Savannah. A lot of men could be after you and you just don't know it cos you're too focused on

is right, I shouldn't be

"Thanks Alec." I say.

don't worry, your secret with Nick is safe

I smiled.

•••••

always the one left here. I put down my paper to my side table drawer and pulled myself up from the bed. I placed a pillow behind my head as I rest against the wall. I'm still thinking about what Alec told me. Those words still runs over my head. I

I look like a slutty if I'm entertaining other men

by

voice called

It's not

to the door. I didn't order anything but why is there a delivery? Perhaps it was a mail? I reached for the knob and

"Hi angel." He says.

I smiled back. "Hey."

were a bit sad today so I thought I

chuckled. "I hope there's foods in there. I'm famished." I

and some rolls. I hope

it. Come

headed to the bed. I closed the door and marched my way closer to him. He

this." He says while

worry you're not

ends up dropping his foods back on

good. This is really

my favorite Japanese

to be my favorite too." I smile.

been kind

tell

didn't know your