Love Aint Always Pretty

Kalopsia

- the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are

Origin: Greek

47

SAVANNAH'S POV

I was sitting down inside a coffee shop, rewriting my 500-word essay for this Friday. I have been here for almost an hour now and I'm still not halfway through. My neck is already hurting and my wrist is starting to hurt as well. I take a sip from my frappe and it's already four in the afternoon.

"Savannah. Good to see you here."

I pulled my head up and it was Alec. He walks closer to my table. I haven't seen or talked to him after that night when I eavesdropped his conversation with Nick. I have tried to ignore him too cos I'm ashamed of myself. He knows the thing I have with Nick.

"Can I share a table?" He asked.

I just stared at him and he says, "Don't worry I'm alone."

I nod.

Alec pulls out the chair across me and sat down with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine. Thanks." I answered.

He takes a sip from his coffee and neither of us tried to talk anymore. I continued writing on my essay.

"About that night Savannah." He says.

I slightly pulled my head up to him.

"I know you've heard everything and I feel bad about it." He says.

I bite my lip.

"I don't know why Nick is treating you this way. You clearly don't deserve this kind of... Brokenness and ugliness." He added.

I exhale and put my pen back down. I stare at him and he looked totally sorry about what he said that night though he didn't really say anything bad against me.

"I'm just too embarrassed now that you know I'm only screwing Nick and he's doing the same thing." I say softly.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most college students are stuck on being just friends with benefits. The only difference is, you're in love. I know you love him Savannah. That night when I saw those tears on your face, I know you wanted more from what Nick is giving you but--"

"But he can't give me what I need." I continue his sentence for him.

I looked away and hear Alec exhaling heavily. "I wouldn't ask those things if I knew you were there."

I smirked and said, "I wouldn't know his answers if you knew I was there."

"But are you okay with this set up with Nick? You know you're going to hurt yourself if you keep on doing this."

I exhale heavily, as if I'm having a hard time to breathe.

"I want to continue with whatever I have with Nick.... Even though it's hurting me."

I look back at Alec while he looks at me. He pity me. I could see from his eyes. He knows too well that Nick won't love me. He knows him too well and that look on his eyes is breaking me.

"Why do you want this?" He asked.

"I'm a fool for him, Alec." I say.

His brows are creasing.

Nick and I'll try to keep up with this though it hurts. This will end someday and before it'll end I just want to make

the table. "If you give him more time I know he'll realize that he loves you

think that's

go on with this kind of thing Savannah when you know it's never gonna happen? You're inflicting pain to your own

hoping he could change.

when I say Nick's heart is already sealed long ago.

bent my head down and

couldn't love again but still here I am hoping that he will. That he

holds me close and I was hugging him cos it's what I need. I need to tell someone other than Nick about this thing

he can realize it before it's too late cos you're an amazing woman Savannah. It'll be Nick's loss."

he's still looking at me. It's nice to hear at coming from Nick's best friend, he knows it's Nick's loss. I hope I'm a loss

less seriously? Keep it strictly physical." He

"I'm trying."

guy....who likes you."

"No guy likes

Aries talks about when

"What?"

"Shit. Don't tell him I said

laugh softly. "Aries is a

saved him from getting beaten up, all he ever asked me about was you.

"He's not?" I asked.

night before but after that night when you first came at the

I paused.

known playboy but every

who's side you're on right now. Are you taking Nick's side or

He laughs. "No one's."

I exhale.

too unavailable to other

I smiled at myself.

should be. You're a beautiful woman, Savannah. A lot of men could be after you and you just don't

I shouldn't be taking this thing I have with Nick seriously. I need to meet other men, no

"Thanks Alec." I say.

nods. "And don't worry, your secret with Nick is safe

I smiled.

•••••

rereading the 500 word essay I made, looking for some errors and misspelled words. Tracy went out with Clyde as always and I'm always the one left here. I put down my paper to my side table drawer and pulled myself up from the bed. I placed a pillow

look like a slutty if I'm entertaining other men while

knock came by the

voice

sigh. It's not

off the bed and headed to the door. I didn't order anything but why is there a delivery? Perhaps it was a mail? I reached for the knob and opened the door. A tall man with a baseball cap turned

"Hi angel." He says.

I smiled back. "Hey."

a bit sad today so I

hope there's foods in there. I'm

some rolls. I hope

it. Come in

He starts pulling

suck at this." He says while holding

worry you're

up dropping his foods back on

is good. This is really

from my favorite

it's going to be my favorite too." I smile. "Pass

sort of melted a little bit but melted or not it's still ice cream. It's still tasty. I'm glad Aries is here to company me, I've been kind of

doesn't tell me where he

I didn't know your name was Harrison." I