Love Aint Always Pretty

Kalopsia

- the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are

Origin: Greek

47

SAVANNAH'S POV

I was sitting down inside a coffee shop, rewriting my 500-word essay for this Friday. I have been here for almost an hour now and I'm still not halfway through. My neck is already hurting and my wrist is starting to hurt as well. I take a sip from my frappe and it's already four in the afternoon.

"Savannah. Good to see you here."

I pulled my head up and it was Alec. He walks closer to my table. I haven't seen or talked to him after that night when I eavesdropped his conversation with Nick. I have tried to ignore him too cos I'm ashamed of myself. He knows the thing I have with Nick.

"Can I share a table?" He asked.

I just stared at him and he says, "Don't worry I'm alone."

I nod.

Alec pulls out the chair across me and sat down with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine. Thanks." I answered.

He takes a sip from his coffee and neither of us tried to talk anymore. I continued writing on my essay.

"About that night Savannah." He says.

I slightly pulled my head up to him.

"I know you've heard everything and I feel bad about it." He says.

I bite my lip.

"I don't know why Nick is treating you this way. You clearly don't deserve this kind of... Brokenness and ugliness." He added.

I exhale and put my pen back down. I stare at him and he looked totally sorry about what he said that night though he didn't really say anything bad against me.

"I'm just too embarrassed now that you know I'm only screwing Nick and he's doing the same thing." I say softly.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most college students are stuck on being just friends with benefits. The only difference is, you're in love. I know you love him Savannah. That night when I saw those tears on your face, I know you wanted more from what Nick is giving you but--"

"But he can't give me what I need." I continue his sentence for him.

I looked away and hear Alec exhaling heavily. "I wouldn't ask those things if I knew you were there."

I smirked and said, "I wouldn't know his answers if you knew I was there."

"But are you okay with this set up with Nick? You know you're going to hurt yourself if you keep on doing this."

I exhale heavily, as if I'm having a hard time to breathe.

"I want to continue with whatever I have with Nick.... Even though it's hurting me."

I look back at Alec while he looks at me. He pity me. I could see from his eyes. He knows too well that Nick won't love me. He knows him too well and that look on his eyes is breaking me.

"Why do you want this?" He asked.

"I'm a fool for him, Alec." I say.

His brows are creasing.

to keep up with this though it hurts. This will end someday and before it'll end I

more

laugh humorlessly. "I think that's

if you think so, why do you still want to go on with this kind of thing Savannah when you know it's never gonna happen? You're inflicting pain

could change. He could change for me."

dear friend to me and trust me when I say Nick's heart is already sealed long ago. It's already as hard

bent my head down and wiped it away before it

couldn't love again but still here I am hoping that he will. That

and I was hugging him cos it's what I need. I need to tell someone other than Nick about this thing that's going on between me and him cos this is so unhealthy to the

it's too late cos you're an amazing woman Savannah. It'll be

to hear at coming from Nick's best friend, he knows it's Nick's loss. I hope I'm

Nick less seriously? Keep it strictly

"I'm trying."

another guy....who

"No

"Are you kidding me? All Aries talks about when you're

"What?"

widened. "Shit. Don't tell

laugh softly. "Aries is a playboy,

from getting beaten up, all he ever asked me about

"He's not?" I asked.

before but after that night

I paused.

make fun of him. Aries is a known playboy but every time a girl comes around,

side you're on right now. Are you taking Nick's side

He laughs. "No one's."

I exhale.

I'm trying to say is, don't make yourself too unavailable to other men cos of what you have with Nick." He

I smiled at myself.

you should be. You're a beautiful woman, Savannah. A lot of men could be after you and you just don't know it cos

head up to him and I know he is right. I'm setting myself too closed around Nick. Alec is right, I shouldn't be taking this thing I have with Nick seriously. I need to meet other men, no

"Thanks Alec." I say.

your secret with Nick is

I smiled.

•••••

I put down my paper to my side table drawer and pulled myself up from the bed. I placed a pillow

like a slutty if I'm entertaining other men

by the door.

voice called

sigh. It's

to the door. I didn't order anything but why is there a delivery? Perhaps it was a mail? I reached for the

"Hi angel." He says.

I smiled back. "Hey."

said you were a bit sad today so I thought I could buy you your favorite

"I hope there's foods in there.

rolls. I hope

love it. Come in

the bed. I closed the door and marched my way closer to him. He starts pulling out the foods and everything looks deliciously cute. Aries

this." He says

"Don't worry you're not

first he tries to learn how to hold the chopsticks but he ends up dropping his foods back on his paper plate. I'd end up laughing at

good. This is really good."

from my favorite Japanese

too." I smile. "Pass up

still tasty. I'm glad Aries is here to company me, I've been kind of a loner lately since Tracy has been busy with her researching and I've had to do other stuff related to school

doesn't tell

know your name was Harrison." I