Love Aint Always Pretty

Kalopsia

- the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are

Origin: Greek

47

SAVANNAH'S POV

I was sitting down inside a coffee shop, rewriting my 500-word essay for this Friday. I have been here for almost an hour now and I'm still not halfway through. My neck is already hurting and my wrist is starting to hurt as well. I take a sip from my frappe and it's already four in the afternoon.

"Savannah. Good to see you here."

I pulled my head up and it was Alec. He walks closer to my table. I haven't seen or talked to him after that night when I eavesdropped his conversation with Nick. I have tried to ignore him too cos I'm ashamed of myself. He knows the thing I have with Nick.

"Can I share a table?" He asked.

I just stared at him and he says, "Don't worry I'm alone."

I nod.

Alec pulls out the chair across me and sat down with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine. Thanks." I answered.

He takes a sip from his coffee and neither of us tried to talk anymore. I continued writing on my essay.

"About that night Savannah." He says.

I slightly pulled my head up to him.

"I know you've heard everything and I feel bad about it." He says.

I bite my lip.

"I don't know why Nick is treating you this way. You clearly don't deserve this kind of... Brokenness and ugliness." He added.

I exhale and put my pen back down. I stare at him and he looked totally sorry about what he said that night though he didn't really say anything bad against me.

"I'm just too embarrassed now that you know I'm only screwing Nick and he's doing the same thing." I say softly.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most college students are stuck on being just friends with benefits. The only difference is, you're in love. I know you love him Savannah. That night when I saw those tears on your face, I know you wanted more from what Nick is giving you but--"

"But he can't give me what I need." I continue his sentence for him.

I looked away and hear Alec exhaling heavily. "I wouldn't ask those things if I knew you were there."

I smirked and said, "I wouldn't know his answers if you knew I was there."

"But are you okay with this set up with Nick? You know you're going to hurt yourself if you keep on doing this."

I exhale heavily, as if I'm having a hard time to breathe.

"I want to continue with whatever I have with Nick.... Even though it's hurting me."

I look back at Alec while he looks at me. He pity me. I could see from his eyes. He knows too well that Nick won't love me. He knows him too well and that look on his eyes is breaking me.

"Why do you want this?" He asked.

"I'm a fool for him, Alec." I say.

His brows are creasing.

this though it hurts. This will end someday and before it'll end I just want to make most

table. "If you give him more time I know he'll

laugh humorlessly. "I think

do you still want to go on with this kind of thing Savannah when you know it's never gonna happen? You're inflicting

could change. He

dear friend to me and trust me when I say Nick's heart is already

my tears filling my eyes. I bent my head down and wiped it away before it could fall down on

love again but still here I am hoping that he will.

sits down right next to me. He holds me close and I was hugging him cos it's what I need. I need to tell someone other than Nick about this thing that's going

he can realize it before it's too late cos you're an

ply of tissue. I wiped my tears and he's still looking at me. It's nice to hear at coming from Nick's best friend, he knows it's Nick's loss. I

you take Nick less seriously? Keep it

"I'm trying."

out with another guy....who

"No

kidding me? All Aries talks about when you're

"What?"

Don't tell him I said

"Aries is a playboy,

think you have this affect on him cos since that night when you saved him from getting beaten up, all he ever asked me about was you. He's

"He's not?" I asked.

"Not anymore. I usually see him with different women every night before but after that night when you first came at the frat

I paused.

a known playboy but every time a girl comes around, he turns them

you're on right now. Are you taking

He laughs. "No one's."

I exhale.

to other men cos of what you have

I smiled at myself.

a beautiful woman, Savannah.

myself too closed around Nick. Alec is right, I

"Thanks Alec." I say.

nods. "And don't worry, your secret

I smiled.

•••••

out with Clyde as always and I'm always the one left here. I put down my paper to my side table drawer and pulled myself up from the bed. I placed a pillow behind my head as I rest against the wall. I'm still thinking about what Alec told me. Those words still runs over my head. I know I should do it. I shouldn't make myself too available for Nick and

like a slutty if I'm entertaining other men while I'm

by the

voice called

It's not

didn't order anything but why is there a delivery? Perhaps it was a mail? I reached for the knob

"Hi angel." He says.

I smiled back. "Hey."

the paper bag and showed me. "Alec said you were a bit sad today so I thought I

foods in there. I'm

teriyaki and some rolls. I

Come in

marched my way closer to him. He starts pulling out the foods and everything looks deliciously cute. Aries started opening the lids and handed

suck at this." He says while

smiled. "Don't worry you're

foods back on his paper plate. I'd end up laughing at him and then he shifted to

good. This is really

from my

guess it's going to be my favorite too." I smile. "Pass up the ice

been kind of a loner lately since Tracy has been busy with her researching and I've had to do other stuff related to school too. Nick is gone again. I don't know where he is. Haven't

always doesn't tell

way, I didn't know your