Sold AS The alpha King's Breeder

Chapter 634

Chapter 134 : I Hurt Her

*Maeve*

I followed Xander through the darkened corridors and down the stairs, my bare feet barely making a sound. Xander was exceedingly tall, taller even than Troy. Even being the tallest out of all the women in my family, I was panting as I tried to keep up with his long stride.

He had no idea where he was going, but I could tell he was trying to get out of the castle. He was going to shift; I could feel it. He was going to run.

But I wasn’t going to let him.

“Stop!” I hissed when he finally found the door to the back garden. He froze, his fingers wrapped around the doorknob for the space of a breath before he pushed the door open and stormed out onto the back terrace. I huffed a breath and tore after him, thankful for the cool breeze that fanned over the exposed skin beneath my shorts. “Damnit, Xander. I said stop!”

He whirled around, baring his teeth at me. I could see tears glimmering in his eyes, which were nearly black in the pale light spilling from the open door behind us.

“I hurt her,” he spat, fury sharpening each word to a brutal edge.

“Yeah, you did. But I can tell you’re hurting much more than she is right now,” I said, trying to keep my voice level. I could see a bruise forming along his jaw where I’d slapped him with my fingers curled into my palm. Blood still coated his lips, and his eyes were wide with horror–horror, and raging, infectious guilt that damn near snapped my heart in two. “You’re not the only one going through this,” I coaxed, still standing my ground. If he so much as looked like his wolf was going to take over, I’d take him to the ground. I’d pin him to the Goddess-damned concrete and force him to listen to me.

He was panting as well, his hands clenched into fists. He was trembling, but not from the cool breeze.

“Whatever you saw,” I said, taking a cautious step forward, “it’s gone now. It’s over.”

“Yet it replays over, and over again,” he growled, “on a constant f*****g loop!”

“You need to talk to someone about what happened to you–”

“I can’t,” he snapped, his eyes shimmering with tears. “I don’t want to think about it ever again–”

“Xander–” My voice broke around his name, especially as he hung his head and brought his hands to his face. I’d seen that same look in Oliver and Charlie’s eyes–pure, unadulterated grief. Terror. Fear, and confusion. Whenever I looked at my sons, I saw them as they’d been when they were young, their eyes shining with excitement and wonder. Xander had been a little boy once. He’d been loved, cherished. He likely had someone back home who was crushed at the thought of him facing the violence we’d just defeated.

Those boys… these children… my children–they’d never be the same again.

“You’re going to be alright,” I said through a sob. Xander didn’t look at me, his eyes downcast on the concrete. “Everything is going to be alright.”

“I could have killed her,” he whispered.

the sob threatening to spill from my throat and nodded.

blink. I

to lean against the terrace. He was looking toward the forest, his eyes wide open but totally unseeing. He was still trapped inside his mind, likely replaying the nightmare, almost like he

sheets while trying to get my

wished with all of my heart that Troy was here right now. He would know what to say to him. Troy always knew what to

my eyes squeezed shut at the mention of Oliver. Tears spilled down my cheeks as I tried to hold in a sob.

briefly,” Xander whispered. “He was… he seemed like he was

I knew that what he’d done had shattered him completely, and

the forest. I hadn’t cried in a long time; I hadn’t had a reason to. But I felt like I’d done nothing but cry for the

said, hiccuping. “I tried it, but it did

when I met his eye, I noticed the flash of uncertainty darken his

with the… symptoms, after being bitten–chills, fever, things like that. Troy said it was helping some of

it did

my arms around myself. “I wasn’t

I could feel his guilt and inner turmoil from where I was standing a few paces away

to be

can’t sleep next to

wake you up. You had no idea you were doing that to her,” I coaxed, but he shook his

But then the second I closed my eyes I just… it all came back.” He cleared his throat, running his fingers through his hair and ruffling it in frustration. “My people are suffering. The warriors that came home are just–just as bad as I’ve been. I spent the last two months sitting and talking with the families of those warriors who

“Xander–”

I just hurt my mate. I was strangling

to her about

goes beyond the powers of the White

not what

can’t trust myself, Maeve. She’s having that baby soon, and then what am I supposed to do? What if I hurt her, our daughter?” His voice cracked and he shook his head, turning away from

to him now? I didn’t have the answers he needed. I wasn’t his mate. I didn’t know him like Lena knew him. I just knew he was a warrior. I’d seen

ripped our world in half, and it would be years until we figured out how

blood root,” I whispered.

“I will.”

talk to

to Crimson Creek tomorrow,”

this far along, but neither of us would stop her. I’d see to