The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

I roll over in bed, aware he has followed me after twenty minutes in the dark, my tray dumped and lights and TV off, due to my low mood. Not wanting to eat or watch any shitty romances anymore.

The bed dips as Arrick’s body slides in beside me; we have gotten into a routine of sharing a bed, with me staying here or him staying with me almost every night and cuddling up. This is the first time I have been in bed before he has come in, since the first few days. He slides his arms around my still body, oblivious to the fact I am awake and buries his face in my hair behind me. I stay still, heart still bruised and even though the tears have dried externally, I am still crying inside. So much anger and sadness mixed up together.

“Sophie?” He whispers softly, voice hoarse and tender with no hint of anger anymore, wrapping himself around me snugly so that every part of him fits me. I try to stay still and not react. Still upset and unwilling to let him know I am even listening, not sure what I even want to say anymore. “I know you’re awake, I can tell.” He nudges me softly with his knee, a gentle Arry mannerism that makes the pain in my chest soften a little. Aching to be normal with him again and not lie here feeling this miserable. I sigh and turn a little to acknowledge him. Wrapped up tight in his embrace yet still feeling closed off and alone.

he hurts me. A part of me that has changed since we got back together. I know it’s stupid to hide when he wounds me, but it’s like a defensive knee-jerk reaction. Not letting him see my vulnerability is all connected somehow to how crazily messed up

I’m trying to distance myself from her, Sophs, it’s not that easy. I don’t want to be cruel. I need you to understand and not give me a tough time on this.” He sounds hurt, anger

his neck, feeling him adjust so he can hold me this way and try so hard to let this go, so I can feel better. He pulls me in close and runs his fingers down my shoulder and back up my spine through my tank top. Nestling close to me and finding a comfy position to sleep with entangled bodies, which is the way he likes us

thinks we are okay, despite my saying nothing except cuddling close. My head and emotions battling one another and dried tears still stinging my face as